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  • Writer's pictureMedha Murtagh

Episode 76 – Why is there so much in the word that want to distract us from our personal power

Updated: Feb 28, 2023

In this episode Oron chat with Cathy about why there’s so much stuff in the world that tries to numb and distract us from our innate power and how we can use it to reclaim our power instead. Oron discuss why it sometimes feels like our attempts to change ourselves and our worlds feel so slow and ineffective and what we can do tap into the potential for fast and radical change in a way that is much easier and way more powerful.

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Why is there so much in the world attempting to distract us from our innate power and magic [starts at 00:03:37] Why does it feel like our attempts to change our world are so slow and ineffectual [starts at 00:07:39]


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Oron: We are here and ready. And before we invite you to ask your first question, we wish to discuss something that is relevant to all of your connections to yourself and your own heart.

This morning, before Medha connected with you in order to create this recording, she was editing a previous episode of the podcast, and she was really struck by something that we said at the beginning of that. She was struck by the fact that we mentioned how delicious the feeling is in her heart when she brings us through and our clarification for both her and others. But that feeling that she attributes of the deliciousness that happens inside of her heart as we come through is not, strictly speaking, a feeling that we give her in the way that she perceives. That feeling is already available in her heart. That deliciousness that she experiences, the delight that she experiences is already available inside her own heart. We are merely a trigger for her to experience what is already there within herself.

And that is true for all of you. All of you have got access to what she calls the glowing heart of love. That delicious, beautiful, powerful feeling that she senses as we come through.

And in the conversation that you and Medha had as she was getting ready to bring us through - she was not yet bringing us through - she had a moment of being delighted with herself because you were discussing the fact that your computer is making some noises. And in the past made a knows that she would have been nervous, upset, or tense around the idea that the podcast recording would not be, in her words, perfect.

The fact that her response to this this morning has been to laugh and think it genuinely funny without needing to remind herself to not take it seriously, created such delight in Medha that she accessed the feeling of the golden, glowing heart inside of her heart before she even called us through. And so it is such a profound confirmation for her in her own experience, as it always is for all of you.

When you feel something inside of yourself, you have your own experience as a factually based knowing which allows you to relax into it. And when we - or any other higher vibration teaching or idea comes to you and you feel a level of resonance, what that is doing is that is connecting into your own knowing. But deeper than that, it is giving you a felt experience of the truth of it. You have it all inside of you, always. And the play here is to find ways to consciously play inside of yourself, to allow yourself to open the doors to the wonderful deliciousness that lives inside of you always. Let's play.

Cathy: Well, that was just delightful.

Oron: We just helped you to access the delight that already exists within you.

Cathy: That's beautiful. My first question comes from curiosities that I've observed and lived experience. Why there is so much out there in the world and within our society that I feel is there attempting and trying to numb us and distract us from our own innate power and magic. I'd love any musings from yourself as to why that is.

Oron: That is because the outside is a mirror to the internal. And now the part of the conversation you had with Medha before you hit the record button was her encouraging you to look at something that is coming up for you that you were unconsciously attempting to avoid in order that your vibration was not brought down by it. And that is something that is so prevalent in so many of you. You innately know that you are meant to feel good. And so it makes sense in many ways for when bad feelings to come up inside of you, for you to turn towards the parts of you that are experiencing the good feeling, and to try to silence and not experience the bad feeling. Because deep down, you know the truth of the fact that you are meant to feel good. And yet you numb yourselves internally to your pain on a regular basis. You distract yourself from your power inside of yourselves on a regular basis.

And so the outside world is a mirror of that for you. Not so that you can be bound by the external, but so that you can look inside of yourself and find the mirrored dynamic inside of you so that you can play with it, to untangle it, so that you free yourself from the illusion that you create inside of yourself, of your powerlessness. Because we guarantee you this: when you feel powerful inside of yourself, there is nothing outside of you that can make you feel powerless.

Cathy: That was confronting.

Oron: We will say more. We love you. There is a phrase that Medha does not love, but we will use here, and she finds it amusing. You've got this. You are making your way towards so much more consciousness in your living, so much more awareness with yourself. And so is the rest of humanity. That is why so many of you are looking at your outside world right now and throwing your hands up in the air and saying, "Why? Why is it like this?"

And so know that you're trying to force the outside configuration of the universe to change to please you is going to create more division and less connection to your power inside of you because you will not succeed at that. And you will then feel powerless, which will feed the illusion that the power is not within you.

However, if you see the outside and not fight and resist, but still stay connected to what it is that you wish for it and find the places inside of yourself that it is mirroring for you and do the work where you have the most ability to create impact and change inside of yourself. And then turn that united, harmonious, connected version of you - the one that has moved beyond those divisions - to look into the outside world, hope for the best for it, will for the best for it without trying to force it, and then wait for inspired action. Your world will start to change much more radically and much more quickly than what you currently perceive possible.

The reason that the attempts are being made - correction. The reason that the attempts that are being made currently to create change in your world feel stagnant and like not much is changing and like it is very, very slow is because many of you are focused on the outside and you're trying to force and push it into a different configuration. Your power lies in the inside world, and that does not mean that we are telling you not to look at the outside world and not to work towards its change and its expansion. What we are actually saying is that when you are in harmony with what it is that you wish to create in all of the aspects inside of you, and you then take an action, that is more powerful than a million people in resistance trying to create the same thing. That is the level of power that lives inside of you. And the fact that you can fool yourself into feeling powerless is a testament to how powerful you actually are.

Cathy: Far out. Okay.

Oron: The challenge with what we are offering you is to use it to support yourself instead of to criticize. We are speaking to any of you that are in the pattern of trying to make yourselves be better by criticizing yourself, by reminding you of the bad potential consequences of the way that you are doing things so that you can try and move towards more positivity.

We will encourage you instead to use what we are saying as a cushion of support, to know that the power lives inside of you and think of it as a game to uncover the ways that you can reconnect into it. The more light you are around this, the easier and the faster it will be. But if you find yourself using our words or anything else at all as a stick to beat yourself with, to beat yourself into submission so that you will submit to your own desires in the moment that you catch yourself find the space inside of you when it is available, the moment that it becomes available, to love yourself, to love the earnestness of your desire to be your best self and have positive impact, to love how much you desire well for yourself, to love how much commitment you have to your own evolution and to adore all of the aspects, even if you do not yet understand why it is that they are doing what they are doing.

And as you create the space of cushioning and of support, those parts of you will be able to offer you such gold. They are literally the key to everything that you want. But when you numb yourself, when you silence them, when you distract yourself from them, you are accidentally unintentionally, pushing away all the things that you want. What you want already lives inside of you. It is why you feel a resonance with it. It is why you feel it calling you.

And yes, that will entail some action in the external world. But do not think that action in the external world is the only way to impact the external world. It is not the only way to create the reality of what it is that you want. It is when your first instinct is to turn within and to soothe the parts of you that are in pain instead of distracting yourself from them and numbing yourself to that pain. When you do that more readily, more naturally, and you give yourself the experience of feeling heard and valued and important - because the message that you give to any part of you is the message that you give to all of you - as you do that more and clean up the energetics inside of yourself so that you feel like someone who is valued and important and heard and supported, the actions, the inspired actions that you will then take in the outer world, will have so much more impact and benefit and power. That is what you are looking for.

The external world is showing to you the places where right now you don't feel powerful. And that is a good thing. The external world is so much more capable of rapid change than what you yet understand. But the only reason for that is because you have not yet aligned all of your power into the actions that you take in the world.

And so all there is is a game to play, to reclaim a little bit more of your power, a little bit more of your power, a little bit more of your sense of feeling heard, understood and supported by yourself. Which will then allow you to relax into the support of the universe. And that is how you connect to your power. That is how you live a powerful life. Not by trying to force the universe into a different configuration, but by going within, supporting yourself and learning to relax into support, and then extending that to the universe, which is the part of you that you do not see as you yet. But you will. Because it is.

We love you. We love you. We love you.

Medha: They make me want to cry so much all the time now.

Cathy: Crying is welcome.

Medha: Yeah, all the time now. It didn't used to, but now it's just like, Holy fuck, the fog is still happening in my lenses. When I put my glasses on after they've tapped out.

Cathy: That was confronting.

Medha: I think they wanted you to be gentle. That whole tangent at the end was like, for anyone who's listening. Yeah.

Cathy: Yeah.

Medha: How are you feeling? What's happening?

Cathy: My chest is feeling tight. I feel like I'm holding back tears, and my mind is like... Went into, "Why did I feel the need to ask that question?"

Medha: Interesting. Okay, tell me more.

Cathy: Yeah. Well, just in terms of what Oron just said around the mirroring and looking outside of ourselves and that it's actually a reflection inside and how we have a tendency to criticize and sort of hurt ourselves into thinking another way. When, really, it's like being with the inside world in that actually - even though there was lots of stuff in there around inspired action, which I love because that's my whole phrase for this year is to move from inspired action. I wrote it down. It's like, "Do not think that action in the external world is the only way to impact the external world." That's just like hurting my head.

Medha: Well, yeah, it would. Because we're so wired to think that we have to do the things to earn the things.

Cathy: Yes. And change the things. So I think my pondering on why I felt the need to ask that question was it's more reflecting to me now how I'm still - I'm not critiquing myself, but I'm just becoming aware of my tendency to still look outside of myself, to still... I guess there's an element of blame there or pointing fingers at things. And now I just feel this real desire to sort of like take responsibility in a way that is supportive and gentle, but also like, okay, what can I be with? And that's like the internal.

Medha: There's another podcast episode we did with Raquel, I think, where Oron said something that blew my mind then as well. And it was people struggle to take responsibility when they haven't cleaned up the relationship between responsibility and blame. So if responsibility equals blame, why would you give that to yourself? Because then you just have to - whether it's come down on yourself or whatever. And so there's a way to take responsibility and ownership in a way that is couched so much compassion for self and understanding of self and support of self that blame isn't even a thing. But it's like building the muscle of that. Because most of us feel like if we're responsible for something, then we're to blame.

Cathy: Yes, 100%.

Medha: Yeah. They said something like - I'll link that episode in. But they said something like, you can't expect yourself to take full responsibility until you've cleaned up that relationship between blame and responsibility. It's unreasonable for you to expect that from yourself without having made it accessible to yourself first.

Cathy: Yeah.

Medha: Yeah. And the other thing is I recorded a podcast episode yesterday - because sometimes people think that I'm perfect at this and it's really important for me to share, yes, the Oron wisdom and the high perspective, high vibe stuff, but also the fact that Medha is just a fucking human who gets things wrong.

So I recorded a podcast episode about three different things that happened in my day, my week that were really intense and that I responded to with three different levels of consciousness. So the first one, I was really conscious and I was like, "Oh, I'm doing this thing. I'll just ask Matt for help to help me, blah." And it was fine.

The second, I actually started to beat up on myself for the first time in ages. And it was like horrific inside of me. But then I caught myself and went, "Oh, hang on. I'm doing that thing. I'm resisting me. I'm telling myself I was an idiot for doing that thing. I'm resisting the fact that Nelson got attacked by a dog. And I went to a really different dog place at a very random time. And I'm like, why would I be guided to go there the time he goes...

Anyway, so I was rushing to the emergency vet and I was like, "What the hell? Why did I do that? Why did this happen?" So fighting the moment, the reality of what had happened. And then somehow from somewhere I got this space of consciousness and I was like, "Oh, it feel so shit to talk to myself like this." I felt it in my body. And I was like, "So what I'm doing right now is fighting the fact that something that already happened happened." And it's like I got the choice of going, "Okay, you know what? It happened. I don't know why it happened. And so now the only thing that's available to me is to hope for the best. I'm going to hope for a miracle, and I'm going to hope for the fact that even though Nelson-" because he was already recovering from surgery when he got attacked by a dog, right? His cone was covered in blood. So I'm on the way. So I'm like, "I'm going to hope that a miracle happens and Nelson is fine. And we're not going to have to redo all his stitches," because I couldn't see stitches when I looked at them. There was blood all over his mouth.

And so I changed my energy totally. Then I could listen to a podcast because I wasn't intensely busy with fucking hating myself. I created space in my mind. And Nelson was fine. The vet said the fight pulled his stitches apart, which the mouth bleeds a lot, which is why there's so much blood. And it was totally fine, right?

So that's the second level of consciousness where I lost it and then regained it. And then the third level of consciousness was there was some people came to the house to grab something that we put on free on Marketplace and they left the door open. The dog ran away. They didn't thank us for this thing that's really worth hundreds of dollars that we chose to give away for free. I was so angry at these people. So I recorded that podcast episode whilst I was still angry because just because I know all this stuff doesn't mean that I don't get caught up in the humanity of fighting the moment. But the difference I feel for me is I've done enough of the Return to wholeness process to be fucking fine with me being irrationally angry at something.

And then what happens is the fuel of that kind of gets used up. And then it's like, then I get a space where I get the choice to be conscious. But if I tried to superimpose, "oh, no, I don't know what's going on with them. They might have had a hard day. They might not like whatever," over the top of me being angry to try and stop myself being angry, then that's just me - what was the thing I could say? Distracting and numbing myself away from this part of me, which is just as valuable and just as important.

And so then I told Matt what happened, and he goes, "God, those people are fucking dicks. And then I naturally went, "Oh, hang on. We actually don't know." And I'm genuinely from a place of having used up the fuel of that experience and loving myself through it and telling myself it's fine for me to hate people that I've never met before or whatever. It's like then that fuel gets used up. I feel all of it, yeah. And love myself no matter what.

I used to think that if I had certain thoughts or felt certain feelings, I was bad. So I feel like that's what I've been able to clean up to a certain degree now. But that doesn't mean that I don't have these horrendous reactions and have to sit in my own shit for a while. Knowing this - I think the journey I'm on personally is knowing this and understanding it is one thing and then imbibing it and feeling it in my beingness and my body is another.

If anyone that's listening or whatever is beating themselves up, "But I know. I should know better." That's just numbing a part. That's just ignoring the part who's still scared of something or trying to avoid something. And so it's like we try and beat ourselves without realizing that we can't get where we want to go from there. But it's only really once you've experienced the opposite that you can start to develop a sense of trust. And that happens slowly. It's like a step by step process of starting to trust that we don't have to do all the action in all of the outside world to make it change. It's like you need to see it and offer your mind like a little bit of evidence and then have something else will happen and then you got a bit more... To build -

Because the other thing we ask ourselves - and Oron has talked about this as well - we ask ourselves to just go from no trust to total and complete trust.

Cathy: Yeah. Take the leap so quickly. And also, that's what I really appreciate about you sharing your journey and have been sharing your journey through different podcast episodes. It's because we know that no one is immune to this. And the beauty of actually, okay, sometimes we can know things intellectually, but then how do we embody that? And then on top of that, how do we make it a consistent practice to actually feel all of the things so that you can go through that whole process and return the wholeness.

Medha: Yes, absolutely. I haven't really talked about it very much, but I was in a spiritual community for a long time that I thought was my spiritual home. But it turned out to be a cult. It was not for the upliftment of the individuals. It was not to connect them to the empowerment. So I kind of think of the first 35 years of my life as a PhD in disempowerment, like how to get totally, wildly disempowered. And then the rest of my life is getting a PhD in actual empowerment and knowing how to do that for myself.

So anyway, there was a teacher there who claimed to be perfect and to never - if ever he reacted in a way that was bad it's because he was mirroring to you what's bad in you. So there was no accountability, no responsibility. And I am like, allergic to that model. And so that's why it really matters to me. I feel like any spiritual person/teacher worth their salt is going through some level of process. Like, yes, it gets easier. Yes, it gets higher vibe and all that sort of stuff, but we're all humans. And the moment we start to think that good humans don't have these thoughts or don't do that stuff, we just create that division in ourselves.

Cathy: Absolutely.

Medha: Yeah.

Cathy: What I also loved about what Oron shared is how - I can't remember the exact line. But basically we're so powerful that we're powerful enough to create the illusion that we're not powerful.

Medha: I love that so much. That's how powerful we are.

Cathy: That's how powerful we are. Like, that really resonated. I was like, "Oh my God. What kind of illusion have I created for myself and continue to feed into myself? Because the other is just like too wildly... it's too much.

Medha: Yeah. But it's so funny because also little miracles happen all the time. Like, synchronicities that are ridiculous when you think about all the things that had to line up, all the decisions that person had to make and that person had to make. Like, there's always miracles all the time. But it's like we don't see it.

For example, when I was beating myself up about why was I inspired to go there at that time with those people and those dogs? Right. So that was my beating myself up model. But then when I was over the other side of it, I was like, thank fuck my friend Simon was there because he jumped on top of the other dog whilst I tried to get Nelson away. And so if I had been by myself, that would have been completely a different scenario. But I didn't go, "Ph, how wonderful that I was inspired to go for a walk with a friend who happened to," like, you know what I mean? So that was a miracle. Nelson could have died. I don't have the strength. I've got an arm condition. Literally, I wouldn't have the strength, but he just pounced. He ended up all scratched up and everything.

And so something hadn't stopped that dog from hurting Nelson, but I wasn't in the beating myself up mode that didn't feel like a miracle. Everything was fucked and I was an idiot for being inspired to go at that time to that place, you know? So it's like the lens we use to look at stuff, too. In the same exact situation I can now think as being miraculous and life saving for Nelson, whereas before it was like my fault he got hurt.

Cathy: And when you're so in that you can't see the other perspectives, the other sides.

Medha: Yeah, I think this is important. I think that's why it's important to kind of do the work or the play or the supporting or connecting with self when things aren't intense. Because if you haven't built the muscle or that hasn't become familiar and you're like in the worst high intensity situation, again, it's kind of unreasonable to ask yourself to have that space of choice if you haven't been building that level of self support and that consciousness in low intensity situations. It's more available to me now than it ever was because I check in with myself when I'm not upset, not just when I'm upset.

Cathy: I love that.

Medha: Yeah. It makes a massive difference.

Cathy: That it comes down to sort of that self awareness and that willingness to pause and check in and be like, "How are we doing?"

Medha: Yeah. And it starts to become second nature. Like, I check in with myself much less formally now than like I used to. I still do it formally, but it's like you build the habit of the momentum of that instead of the habit of the moment or the momentum of, like, numbing and distracting. Yeah, I think Oron's said it before. We work a lot harder to pretend to disconnect than we have to work to go back to what's natural.

Cathy: Yes. Then it just comes back to the pushing. Like, why do we keep pushing against that? So much more strenuous.

Medha: Yeah. But I think the reason we do it, though, is because it takes a lot to build up the level of self worth, ability to receive and absolute trust that is required to not do it. We were born with those things. Like, you watch a little kid - I say this all the time. They will have a tantrum because they can't have ice cream because they feel so like they deserve it. And it's absolutely, really ridiculous that you're saying no to them, right? So we're born with all of those things. And then we create all this shit inside of ourselves, like, in response to stuff that makes us feel disconnected from that. And then the new superimposed structure is what feels safe.

So we will choose pain over comfort if it feels safe. If you have an experience -I've been reading a lot about trauma, listening to a lot of audio books and podcasts around trauma. And there's this fabulous book. It's called The Body Keeps the Score that I've been meaning to read for years. And I'm reading it now. And he said something like 100% of the children that he knows that have been - traumatized, children he works with. So they've been beaten, they've been cut, they've got, like, physical wounding that is evident. They would all choose to stay where they are rather than go somewhere totally different and unknown.

Cathy: Because that's what they know.

Medha: Yeah. And even though it's not safe, there's a level in which what we know feels safe. It's more complicated than that, because there are ways that they love the people that are hurting them. All that stuff. But really, he was talking about that sense of safety. And when you lack a sense of safety, the unknown is so scary. When you don't expect things to go well for you, when you expect that you're not supported, anything that's different to what you've already done is terrifying, really. And so that's why we don't just go, "It's fine, I'll be fine." Like, it's something we've got to rebuild up in ourselves.

But if the way we're doing that is by beating up the parts of us that aren't ready, then the message we give to one part is the message we give to all parts. If we're saying, "Shut up, you're stupid, you don't count." That's the message we're giving ourselves, right? And so then how are we going to get strong and ready enough to trust? So it feels like we're stuck in this horrendous cycle of shit. But what needs to shift it is not what we think. We think we have to work harder and do better. But actually, we need to support ourselves better and love ourselves better. Yeah. But really, actually love ourselves, as in, like, how we talk to ourselves, how we feel about ourselves, how we support ourselves. Not just, like, having a massage occasionally or whatever. Like, self care is different to self love.

Cathy: I feel like those acts - always love a massage. Love a bar.

Medha: Yeah, me too.

Cathy: Those acts are still sort of, for me, on the same level as, like, superimposing, like the positivity over the top. I'm just actually, I'm not dealing with the problem. I'm distracting myself or numbing the pain.

Medha: Yes. I think when you're in a place of selflove, they can be an act of selflove. To choose to do that because you feel inspired or whatever, and it feels delicious, and that's good. But my issue with it is when it gets ticked off as self care equal self love. Done. And then people keep kind of like talking to themselves really badly and not supporting themselves at all.

Because actually, it's funny. The other podcast that they mentioned in here as well talked about how self love is something that is understood by most kind of conscious people. It's something that is really important. But people don't realize they're not doing it. They're not being brutally honest with themselves about how they're thinking about themselves, how they're feeling about themselves, how they're, like really interacting with themselves. But they think they're doing their spirituality work or they're having their bath or they're having their massage or whatever and don't look deeply. But that's -

Cathy: Because it's painful. Because it's uncomfortable.

Medha: Yeah, so it's like it gets numbed and it gets distracted from.

Cathy: Yeah.

Medha: That was really super awesome. I'm going to stop the recordings.

And now here's the informal chat that Kathy and I had about the computer noise that's mentioned in the episode.

Cathy: I just noticed that I got an email come in and then it made that little boop sound. How do I stop that from happening?

Medha: I actually don't know. I should know as a professional podcaster and yet, I do not. Usually it doesn't - oh, fuck. Are these batteries dead as well? What the actual fuck? I'll record on my phone as a second backup. Yeah, I don't know. I didn't know how to do that.

Cathy: I put my inbox up specifically so that it wouldn't notify me.

Medha: Oh, that's very good of you.

Cathy: Well, it did anyway, so I don't know what's happening with my computer. Oron doesn't mind.

Medha: I'm much more relaxed about it all. No, it's only my mind that would mind. That's the only piece of anything that would care and my mind is fine with it.

Cathy: Good. Go on.

Medha: All right. I'm so happy with myself that that made me laugh Instead of making me anxious.

Cathy: I'm happy for you, too.

Medha: Yeah, I really am learning to be more relaxed about stuff and not needing it to be perfect. Fucking go me.

Cathy: That is beautiful.

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