Episode 37 – How to have authentic communication
Updated: Oct 25
In this episode, Oron chat with Steven about how to work out how we really feel when we live in a world that is often trying to tell us how to think and what to do. Oron dive deep into authentic communication, and guide us in developing the skills we need to communicate freely, but with compassion and love.
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What is the best way to interact with the external world [00:00:16] How do I communicate freely? [00:08:09]
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Oron: We are here and ready. Let's begin.
Steven: A few years ago, I feel like I would constantly find myself anxious about the state of the world. In the past year, I feel like things have shifted a lot. I feel like I've started just observing everything that's around me. But, I guess a big recognition that I made was just that so much of my actions around the external world were from a place of guilt, shame and fear. And now I guess I'm wondering... I'm not sure how to respond to the external world. And I'm having trouble finding a way to respond when it seems as though there's a lot of projection about how to respond. And so I would love some clarity on just...on just really to figure out how I feel to begin with.
Oron: We wish to begin by reassuring you that this is not, in fact, a problem. What is happening is a recalibration within you from the external focus that society guides you towards, to an internal focus that also encompasses the external. And so the fact that you feel a little like the rug has been taken out from under you or that you're not quite sure how to handle the mechanics of living in a physical 3D world is only because you are in the process of rebuilding a structure of interacting with self and others and the world around you that works for you. So it is almost as though a structure was created and it was not entirely effective for you. And so you are in the process of dismantling it and recreating it in ways that deeply, deeply work for you. That is why you sometimes feel a little lost. But there is no rush here. You do not need to get to a place where you know exactly how to handle everything in the internal and external world, because do not forget that you are in a process of constant evolution. You will always have more to learn, more to expand into, more to evolve into. And so that does not make where you are incomplete, despite the fact that it will continue to expand. So give yourself the reassurance, give yourself the space that you need in order to do deep recalibrating with the internal. And the ultimate aim for you, for all of you, is to feel the deep internal guidance and then to have that be the spur that drives you to aligned external action. Presently, most of you are attempting to use logical mind-based means in order to decide what your actions should be. As you recalibrate to following the impulses of what feels right for you, it is natural to feel a little lost, but do not be fearful that process will not be eternal. You will feel like you know what to do and you will feel empowered not just in your inner world but also in your outer world. You are just in the process of breaking free of the cocoon. Be patient with yourself, be nurturing with yourself. And for this and other things, do not demand from yourself that you be further along the road than what you are. The process of accepting where you are is what opens up the door to the magical, awesome more that is available for you. There is no problem here.
Steven: Thank you for that. I guess, from here, I'm wondering how can I - What steps can I take right now to, I guess, deepen the relationship I have with myself? I feel like this is something I've been working on. I do feel like I can work on the patience aspect, but I do find that what's coming up lately is just this feeling of being, as you mentioned, being lost, of feeling uncertain, even though I feel like a lot of things are opening up for me right now, a lot of opportunities are opening up and a lot of new relationships are forming.
Oron: The process that we encourage always is not step by step by step by step. It is a single step that is then the foundation for all the further steps that you will be inspired to. And what we encourage you to move towards is inquisitive of the self, being inquisitive of you and how you work with a level of nurturing and acceptance and self-love that is available to you, but not currently the place that you live from. We will say that we can feel that you have evolved in this and there is a lot more self-love and self acceptance present, but there is also a lot of room to expand on this and that will then cushion you for every step that you take moving forward. We will share with you Medha's experience. A lot of her spiritual work - and she has been interested in this since she was a little girl. A lot of her work for decades was around being better. She wanted to be her best self and she wanted to learn the rules of the universe and how it all worked so that she could use it to become her best self so she could have the most positive impact. And although, yes, there are things about that that is admirable, ultimately, the lesson, the message that she was giving to herself is that herself, as she was in that moment, was not good enough and she needed to be better. There are many of you that are using your desire for expansion as a rod to carry on your back and beat yourself with. If there is any level within you of "I must do better," rather than "I am inspired for more," the energetic impact of that, particularly on sensitive ones, is deep. And so we would encourage you to not be at all hypervigilant, but to be inquisitive as to how you choose to motivate yourself. And you will find that still more often than not, you are motivating yourself by trying to attempt to avoid the bad rather than by stepping and moving towards the good. The energetic impact of that difference is massive, and it accumulates over time, moment to moment, day by day, week by week. And so become curious about how you are engaging with yourself and notice how much more ease you feel when you attempt to provide support and encouragement for those around you than what you do with yourself. Again, we say that we have seen evolution in this, both with you and others on your planet. But the depth of what is available in terms of diving deep into the self love that is within you and bathing yourself in it and cleansing yourself of what you consider to be bad, because there is nothing about any of you that is bad. There is nothing about any of you that is bad. There is nothing about any of you that is bad. If you have ever behaved in ways that do not match your values, it is for a reason. It is because you had a wound or a belief or something in place that requires your attention in order to shift it. And that is how you become your best self. You live an embodied best self life. It is when you turn towards the parts of you that you have habitually rejected because you feel like if you got rid of that bit, you would expand more. There is no getting rid of minimizing and then expanding. It's not possible.
Steven: That was powerful. Thank you, I appreciate this. I guess one other question that comes up is I feel another area that I've been working on is just speaking what feels true to me, speaking what feels right to me, living more authentically. And I think with that, I guess, what is one way to not or how can I navigate expressing how I feel or expressing my own thoughts or beliefs without this feeling of walking - I guess you could call it walking on eggshells - wondering if the person I'm speaking to will grow combative or will go into judgement?
Oron: There is no way to have free expression without allowing yourself to be free. And if you are feeling is that you must control yourself in order to control the outcome that you receive from the other -the response that you can receive from the other - neither they, nor you, nor your expression can be free. So when you have been a deeply sensitive being and you are aware of the impact of your words on other people, there can be a tendency to then feel responsible for them. But we will remind you of this: they are responsible for their response to you. You are responsible for behaving in ways that match your values. And when you don't, there are consequences and you deal with them. But as you start to free yourself from the burden that you have placed upon your shoulders of controlling yourself so that you can attempt to control others - which you can never actually do - you will free yourself. And you need, first of all, to feel safe. And deeper than that, you need to feel safe, not with the other person necessarily - although that does help - but within yourself. So we return to the first two things that we spoke about; the attempt to communicate well and freely is the attempt that you are currently having of interacting well with the outside world. And in order for that to happen, first you need to feel safe inside yourself and you need to be interacting well with you in your inside world. And you need to know that if you say the wrong thing, you will not come down on yourself telling yourself you should have been more sensitive and you should have done better. And now look what you've done. If instead you free yourself and you find that a result occurred that was not optimal for you, and you check in with yourself and you enquire as to, "I wonder why I chose to say that way? What was I really feeling? What was I thinking as I was saying it? Was I fearful?" and use that as a productive ground for self growth that includes self-love. You will then feel freer and freer to allow yourself to express more and more freely. And the result that you get from other people, it becomes irrelevant when you are knowing that you are communicating according to your values, because the truth is they are free to respond to you in whatever way they wish. And you can put yourself in a straitjacket but that does not necessarily mean that they will respond in the way that you are aiming for them to respond. Their response is ultimately not your business. But how you interact with yourself and support yourself through whatever response it is that they choose, even if that response is to extricate yourself from the situation or even the relationship. If you are loving yourself through that, the experience is entirely different and it builds upon the level of safety that you require to create further and further freedom in your expression that impacts those around you positively because you are aligned and not because you are trying to control yourself in order to create a result.
Steven: I feel like that is... I feel like it's reiteration of I feel like what I've been thinking. So I think that's really incredible. I appreciate. I really appreciate this because... Yeah.
Oron: One of the most consistent bits of feedback that Medha receives when people interact with us, is that they feel like they already knew that but didn't quite know it as clearly. So we are here as dust rags to shiny up your knowing. We are here to show you what you already know. You sense the truth of what we are saying because the truth lies within you already and because you are a truth barometer. And deep down, you always know. We are not here to tell you anything that you don't already know. But we are here to support you energetically, spiritually, mentally, in order to really claim for yourself the freedom and the power and the joy that is at the core of you, so that it is not theoretical and it is not disconnected from, but rather the place that you live with within yourself and in your interactions with the world. And that is all that you want. You want your self to be expansive and light and joyful and you want to bring more of that into the world. And so if you do the work, the play, the expansion into self-love, that is your natural state, it will not be difficult to reclaim because it is in fact what is natural. You have worked much harder to disconnect from it than you will need to in order to reconnect, because the natural is by definition natural. And that is what you are heading towards. And you know, all of this. We are just reminding you, because you already know you are powerful, you are wise, you are loving, you are kind. And as you free yourself more to be your authentic self, you will be more and more of that. We love you. We love you. We love you. Go well.
Medha: Oh. Oh, they really love you. I can feel it in my heart so much.
Steven: I'm like, going to cry.
Medha: Oh, everybody cries. It would be weird if you didn't. I'll jus stop the recording.
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