Episode 33 – Power, responsibility and blame
Updated: Feb 28
In this episode, Oron chat with Anna about how to have desires and preferences without using them to try to control the universe. They discuss how to be a positive influence towards the creation of good outcomes for ourselves and others and conclude with a clear exploration of why we're often so reluctant to claim our personal power and what we need to help us be willing to do just that. Here's Oron and Anna.
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Preferences without control [00:00:13]
Solving problems for children [00:02:38]
Reluctance to claim my own power [00:10:26]
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Oron: We are here and ready. And before we invite you to ask your first question, we wish to speak about the fact that Medha is having some difficulty - or was having some difficulty - connecting in with us due to the fact that she's very aware that there is loud machinery going on in her vicinity. And she has a standard of excellence for herself that has guided her well throughout her life. But one of the journeys that she has been proceeding along, working with, playing with is the journey of having good goals, good aims, good expectations, good standards without the need for the rigid - correction. Without the need for the rigid feeling of control. As she relaxed enough to allow us to begin to come through, we watched and experienced her talking to herself and relaxing herself and then being wired up again at the increase in the level of sound. And so for anyone who is here and listening or watching, we wish to invite you to absolutely aim for the best, always aim for the best. But remember that sometimes things are happening for reasons that you cannot fathom, and the fighting against creates a contraction of energy. It was impossible for Medha to allow us in when her energy was contracted. And although she is sitting there and also able to hear what we are saying and the sound, she is no longer fighting against it. And that is what allowed us to begin to flow through her in this way. And so for all of you, it is perfectly okay, acceptable, efficient, effective for you to be aware of your own preferences. Medha does prefer when there is silence, when she is doing a podcast recording that she then shares the audio with. She prefers to have an excellent standard of sound quality. That is her. That is her preference. That is her desire. And we do not encourage you to in any way block the real, true, authentic you and the desires that you have innate within you. However, it is the fighting against the pushing, against the resisting and the attempting to control that ends up limiting options, possibility and available energetic resources for you. What is your question?
Anna: I have two very beautiful children and neither are very keen on school, so much so that my daughter has missed the last two terms of school and I believe there's a better way for both of them. And I've offered to homeschool them but they don't like the sound of that either. So, I'm just wondering - I'm sure there's a third way, but it hasn't quite struck me. I'm also open to change schools. Could there be something better I could offer them?
Oron: There is always something better and there is not always just one thing that is better. There are many. So when you say these are the two options, I hope there is a third. There is always more that is available to you. And the same as the speech we gave you about Medha and the fighting against and resisting, the way to open up, to be able to receive the inspirations for things that are better is to begin with a place of not just superficial acceptance, but deep, profound acceptance of the realities in which you are living, in which your children are living. And that can be difficult to do when you have understandings that lead you to believe that this is necessary or that is necessary. Again, preferences are something that are innate to you, they are inherent to you and we do not wish to encourage you to squash them. But the inspired ideas that are slightly outside of the square, within the rigidity that society tends to offer, are available to you when you are deeply open and to be deeply open there is a need for relaxation and allowing that then creates the space for those inspired ideas to come through the way we come through with Medha. You have got access to similar guidance and we will present this to you also. Yes, your children are beautiful and yes, your children have big energies and yes, your children also have their own preferences. And it is not necessarily that they do not like school in terms of the learning aspects. There are energetic dynamics that are at play that do not work for them currently. That is okay. And as you guide your children through life and encourage them to see, not that they must be defeated in the face of obstacles, but the fact that they do not require the controlling of their external world in order to allow themselves to feel in flow, to feel happy. You will be giving them access to a tool that will be available to facilitate the creation of the big life that they are here to create. We would encourage you also to remember that your children are already powerful. They are absolute powerful creators. And yes, as a parent, you are socially seen as their guide and there is truth to that. But also, do not forget that those children are just as powerful in terms of creation as what you are. So it is not your job to find the solution and enforce it upon them. But you, together with those children, can co-create something that is magical and flowing that you cannot achieve from a place of "I must fix this."
Anna: Yes, and I do very much... I am very much aware that they are powerful beings, but there's a little part of me that thinks mother knows best.
Oron: And you have taught -
Anna: Which isn't always helpful.
Oron: And you have been taught to think that. You have been taught to think that children need managing, that children don't know best. And it is - we have spoken of this before. It is easy to think that because you know that your children would eat unhealthy meals and take on unhealthy behaviors if you allowed them total complete freedom sometimes. But that is also part of the learning curve. And we are not saying that what you should do is completely throw your hands up in the air and leave your children to their own devices. Absolutely not. But involving their creative power in decision making processes, at least on the energetic realm, that involve them is a much more empowering way to hold them, to see them, to feel them and to guide them, than decreeing yourself the arbiter of what is best for them.
Anna: Yeah. And I realized lately that I'm presenting them with healthy meal choices, and if they choose not to eat it, I... I struggle a little bit on the inside, but accepting it.
Oron: In the same way that Medha was struggling with the sound outside of herself and wished that it was different, the best way to encourage and guide your children towards outcomes that will be good for them is to not fight them and to not fight their choices. Children are incredibly sensitive, and when you come to them with the energy of "What you are choosing is wrong," they can interpret that as "You are wrong." And you are not required to be perfect in all your interactions with your children to make sure that they do not misunderstand you and start to make meaning for themselves that is not helpful. But it is your intention to be aligned with your own values and your own values are not of minimizing your children. Your own values, deep down, are not a fighting against your children, because really what you want for them is expansion. And so when you fight and resist, you contract not only your own energy, but the energy of the space in which those children are interacting. And so this is an exceptionally good place for you to play with, to find the balance between being connected to your power, being connected to the fact that those children are powerful, being connected to your own guidance and intuition, and being connected to a place of allowing and not fighting against whilst working towards something better.
Anna: Yep. I hear you.
Oron: You feel us.
Anna: Yes, I do. And a lot has to do with trust, isn't it?
Anna: Testing of myself, trusting of them, and, yeah. I.. I do believe that -
Oron: And deeper than that - and deeper than that is trusting of the universe and the fact that you are supported and that your needs will be met. The feeling that you are in charge of your life is interesting when you consider the fact that beings like us tell you that you are the creators of your life. You humans can take that as a heavy weight and burden. But the reality is that in being the creator of your life, we are not saying that you can control the outside world and make it be the way you want. We are inviting you instead to connect into the power that you hold within your being and then relax into the universe's power to recalibrate based on what is happening inside of you. That is your creative power. And most of you try to move the chess pieces around the board, we will say, rather than creating the integrated wholeness inside of yourself that is then mirrored back to you by the chess board that moves the pieces into place magically.
Anna: I find that I feel that I'm stepping into my power more and more every day, but I also see that there has been some reluctance and I look around me and I see a lot of reluctance. Why is there so much reluctance of people to step into their power?
Oron: Because they have not yet built up that level of trust that you are speaking about. Because in some ways, it is easier to give away your power to something else because, to them in some ways, responsibility can be equated with blame. Responsibility is never equated with blame unless there are paradigms inside of you that equate them. And so that is something that can be absolutely cleaned up. As you learn to soothe yourself, encourage yourself, be your own best supporter, nurture yourself through your perceived failures - which are never real failures but they can be perceived failures by you. As you learn to really deeply be there for you, you lose the fear of trying because you will not be reprimanded by harsh aspects of yourself if you get it wrong. You will be supported and encouraged and praised for the fact that you gave it a go. And giving it a go is exceptional play. But it is also exceptional learning, because if you try something and it doesn't quite go well and you come to yourself with love and inquisitiveness and enquire as to how you could take that next time, the level of expansion that you can create for yourself is exponential. But right now, most humans come down hard on themselves when they do not meet their own requirements. There is a harshness and a rigidity that you bring down on yourself that makes it challenging for you to really open up to the power that you have, because in the expansion that it takes to open up to that power, there are things that you are still learning that you do not yet know. And there is a level of learning to flow and support yourself that will expand the potential for you to step forward and claim that power fully when you know you will not be reprimanded, when you know that you will be loved and supported. So in order to really claim your power, in order for anyone to really claim their power, the foundational step to that is trust. But the foundational step to that is self-love.
Anna: You mentioned a connection between responsibility and blame. I think you said, but I don't see the connection. Can you explain this?
Oron: Many people believe that if they are responsible something for something and it doesn't go well, the not going well then becomes their fault. And that happens at different levels. Sometimes consciously and sometimes unconsciously. And those two things need to be disentangled for you to be willing to take full responsibility in a way that doesn't mean that when things go badly, it is your fault.
Anna: Well, that's a big one for me to learn. Yes. I'm quite -
Oron: We know.
Anna: I get to say, "It's all my fault."
Oron: That is a big piece in your willingness to claim your own power. You will keep playing small if you keep blaming yourself for things not flowing. And as you build that feeling of "I am supported," by supporting yourself, as you build the feeling of "My needs are met," by meeting your own needs, as you build the feeling that you are the center of your universe and worth not only taking care of, but worshipping and adoring. That will drop away and you will feel confident comfortable and excited at the thought of really claiming your power in a way that supports you, nourishes you and adores you, which is also what you want for your children. And so they are helping you to access that inside of yourself because you are willing to do more for them than you are willing to do for yourself. And when you flip that and you are willing to do what it takes for yourself, the whole play with your children will become much more easy because they will see you as modeling what it is that you wish for them. And the energetic integrity of that will be powerful for them because your children are deeply, deeply sensitive and they feel energetic in congruence. And this is not a reason for you to beat yourself in any way. But instead it is a reason for you to give yourself more love, more nurturing, more support, more acceptance. Adore yourself, because you, dear one, are adorable. Every single one of you is completely adorable. But it is not anyone's job, not even ours, to give that to you because of the fact that it is impossible. It is something that already lives within you. It is already in you. It's just that you have disconnected from it. So as you reconnect to it, as you give that gift to yourself, as you re-prioritize the fact that you are lovable and that you want to feel connected to it, you give it to yourself and then you are able and willing and able to receive the love that the outside world is giving to you in a much deeper way than what you can when you're not connected to the self-love inside of you. All you want is to feel loved and whole. And most of you look for that outside of yourself. Reverse that, reverse that. Give to yourself what you wish the world would give to you. Give to yourself what you wish your children would give to you. Give to yourself what you wish your partner would give to you. Give yourself what you wish. Meet your own needs. Nurture yourself and your world will be revolutionized and you will be a beacon of hope for those sensitive souls around you. We love you. We love. We love you. Go well.
Anna: Thank you.
Medha: The noise stopped in the middle.
Anna: I didn't hear any noise at all.
Medha: I wonder if the recording got it. So you hang on a second.
Anna: I've got tingles. That was good.
Let me - [Audio Stops]
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