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  • Writer's pictureMedha Murtagh

Episode 19 - Being estranged from people you care about: when you are not yet ready to forgive

Updated: Feb 28, 2023

In this episode, Oron chat with Sami about their perspective on future predictions. They explore the pain of being estranged from people you care about, how to deal with someone you want to forgive, but can’t.

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Future predictions [00:00:26]

Being estranged [00:02:45

When you're not ready to forgive [00:07:51]


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Oron: We are here and ready.

Sami: I was wondering if you could tell me a little bit about the birth of my baby girl that's on the way and if everything will be all and well.

Oron: We are not the kind of beings that give future predictions of any sort. And we do not wish for you to hear the fact that we are not going to give you an exact answer to this question as any kind of indication that things are going to go badly. We are aware of the creative power of each individual and the influence that ideas implanted at important times can have in the manifestation of those things. And we perceive our job here for you, with you and everyone that interacts with us as a connecting into your ability to create rather than an act of implantation of ideas by us. The energetics of all situations can be felt by you, and you can tune into your feeling about what is going on also, and you can be guided in whatever movements are energetically required in order to create more and more flow for all of the situations that you wish to create in the future. We can feel that in your heart you have a feeling of safety, but also a feeling of doubt. We will say this to you: the doubt is old. Play with the doubt, work with the doubt, explore the doubt. Clear out the doubt - not in a way of rejecting it, but in a way of integrating into the whole of who you are. You know you are capable of creating amazing flow, amazing miracles, amazing outcomes. You know this. Feel into yourself and into your own knowing and know that it is always available to you and you don't need to be in front of a psychic or a channel or a healer or a leader of any kind to connect you into what it is that you already know for yourself inwardly.

Sami: I did a lot of manifesting and creating space in particular for this pregnancy to occur. And just recently I've become estranged from my husband's children. And I'm wondering if that fear is something that I put in there because I didn't think that they would accept this. And I'm wanting to have some advice on how to work with removing that block and removing that fear to create love and space for Chris and Parker to come back again.

Oron: This is something that minds find difficult to contemplate, but we are going to offer it to you and invite you to percolate in it until the knowing unfolds from within you: you are the creator of your reality. You are the creator of your reality. And so there are ways in which the things that you are experiencing presently are an energetic match to the insides of you. You are also not capable of creating in the reality of others. It looks as though you are. It looks as though you can have an action or make a choice and then impact the reality of others. But you are never capable of creating something in the external world of someone else that does not match the internal world of them. The universe is an incredibly well-calibrated being that maintains balance always. And we feel also in your heart that there is pain around this situation and it is pain for yourself and the feeling that you currently experience of the loss of those relationships. But we also feel the feeling of the pain that you are carrying around the other people in this situation. And we remind you that love is soft, is caring and is generous. But conscious love does not take on the responsibility of things that are not its responsibility. We invite you - as we invited you previously when you were having sessions with Medha in the past - to connect into the energetics of those beautiful light beings that are those children. That connection is still available to you. It has never left and it will never leave. You cannot control whether they are in your physical space. But you can control or play with or manage or work with the fact that the energetic connection is there and always available to you. It is similar to the experience that Medha now has with Swami and Bodhi, her beloved angel dogs who are no longer with her in the physical. She can connect into them now, even though they are not physically present and she cannot give them a hug. And she can feel her love for them and she can feel their love for her. That is still available to you. No matter what is going on on the surface, in the depths you know that there was a connection there and you know that there was love there. Even if subsequent things have made you doubt that that was real. You know. Again, we direct you to your own knowing, that that was real and love cannot end. It doesn't die. It is just buried underneath the weight of heaviness that sits on top. So we invite you to connect into them the way that Medha does with her beloved dogs. You can connect into those beloved children and feel and experience the connection. And although you cannot create in the experience of your husband and those children, you can create in yours and you can create space - as you said in your question - for them to feel an opening. And everyone on this planet is so incredibly subtle. You all feel things all the time below the level of your conscious awareness. It may be that you are able to influence a change here. It may be that you are not. But use it as an opportunity within yourself to clean up the parts of you that feel that things will go wrong for you on some level, that you cannot have all the ducks line up, that you cannot have everything going perfectly and there has to be a cost paid for your bliss. That is not true. No matter the situation between your husband and the children, you do not have to pay a price for your joy. You do not have to pay a price for your bliss. There is no price to be paid for that, but you can relax into it, and as you do, you will hit parts of you that still need healing. And that is not a problem. And when we say healing, that is a statement regarding the superficiality of it because at the core, you are all perfect, divine and whole and there is no fixing to be done with any of you. The guidance that we offer is just to allow you a deepening into that experience of your wholeness. You are not broken, you do not need to be fixed, but you could be having more fun.

Sami: Is it the right energy energetically for me to connect to the person or the source of who is creating all of this trouble and to give her forgiveness? But if I don't feel it, say when I'm in meditation and I'm trying to connect to her higher self through my higher self, if I feel roadblocked and stuck, is it OK to ask my higher self to be cut off from her energetically, like creating a block? Or am I blocking myself by doing that?

Oron: What you are describing is a situation of extremes; either you block her off completely or you forgive her completely. You can get to either of those extremes, but we do not advise it, particularly if it is attempting to ram forgiveness where forgiveness is not ready to be unfolded. So you do not need to erect a block and we will go further and say that you cannot. You are connected. If you are erecting a block, all you are doing is resisting something that is already there. You are fighting against something that already exists and that will not harm her and it will not harm you. But it will block your energy. You cannot push against what is already there and real and invite more flow and spaciousness into your experience, which is actually what you want. So the steps to moving towards forgiveness for you in this moment may just be to accept and forgive yourself for the fact that you're not ready to forgive right now. And working with connecting into her higher self, if that is not feeling light to you, if you are doing it because you think you should or it will create a change, that is more pushing against.

Sami: Yep, yep. Absolutely, and I think that's what I'm experiencing without realising that it was me pushing when really I felt like I was connecting. And then it just wasn't feeling right for me. So that makes sense as to why...

Oron: Do it when it does feel right. If and when it feels right, do it. But if you are doing it because there is a part of you that wants to change the situation in any way and that we feel an activity of that in you, like that is active in your energy field, if you are doing it with hidden motives, you are going to hit a block and you will feel that. And so again, we remind you: you have knowing. And so the fact that you hit that block is important because it shows you your own knowing.

Sami: Yep, yep.

Oron: You are wise. You all are.

Sami: I feel like in a roundabout way, I've created this space so that it can be just my daughter and myself. I think that I'm not accepting of the fact that all things are happening for a reason and this is the way that it needs to be right now, even though it doesn't make sense.

Oron: We remind you of what we said before. You are simultaneously the creator of your own experience, but not the creator in the experience of others. So if you find yourself in this situation, it is advisable to look at the responsibility that you hold within it, but do not decree yourself primarily responsible for the experience of others. So we feel a heaviness when you say "I created this so that I could be alone with my husband and my daughter," because there is a part of you that would feel a level of guilt at having excluded the other children. You did not do that.

Sami: OK, thank you. That feels good to hear.

Oron: It feels good to you because you feel it as the truth.

Sami: Yes, yep.

Oron: And it is allowing you to stop a level of 'pushing against' that you have been playing with.

Sami: I feel that over the last year or so, I've evolved spiritually so much more than previously, because I've been creating space actively to connect to the other side. But I often don't know what I'm connecting to in the sense that I don't have a name for it or I'm not familiar with it in any particular way. And sometimes it makes me wonder who or what I'm connecting to. Do you know what that is? Or can you share? Or do I just keep going blindly because I'm supposed to find out eventually on my own.

Oron: You are not going blindly. You are going with your experience. It's just that you would prefer a logical understanding to guide your mind, to soften into the process. But you are not blind because you are sensing, you are feeling and that counts for a lot. It is easy to dismiss it when you value the logic and the answers and the explanations and the understandings. But the reason -correction. One of the benefits of the fact that you do not have access to that in this moment is that you can develop even more subtlety in your ability to feel and that is a good thing.

Sami: Yeah.

Oron: In your play and exploration of your consciousness and your expansion of it, be playful with it and remind yourself that there is no rush here. There is no rush for you to arrive at an understanding or knowing. Medha I had to wait quite a while to find a name for us. We tried to not give it to her for a while and she was insistent. But we did not give it to her straight away. It was something that unfolded. But she immediately wanted our name.

Sami: I can understand that now that you've given me that information, I see that I will just keep going and doing what I'm doing because I don't need to know right away. But it feels good.

Oron: You have levels of knowing that you have not really tapped yet and they are poised to be expanded and indulged upon. And we say that to you and we say that to others. Humanity is going through a transformation. And we are aware that a lot of things feel heavy to a lot of people at present. But there is a recalibration happening and there are many of you who are using this time to turn inward and connect inward and not be always distracted by things and having your mind be the primary source of knowing. You are used to prioritising the knowing of the mind. But the knowing of the body, the knowing of the wisdom, the knowing of the intuition is incredibly valuable. And you are much more connected to it than you realise. You are always being given signs. You're always feeling signs from inside of you. And as you play around in a really open and expansive way, in a playful way, in not a serious way, that is when most of your growth and evolution happens; when you are open to it rather than trying to force it or fast forward it. So this exploration is about relaxing the mind. Not in a way that rejects it, but in a way that encourages it to soften and to be supported by your additional knowing. You have more knowing than just your mind. And you are anchoring into that and you all, each one of you, has experiences of that when you just feel something, you have a gut instinct, you have a knowing. They are with you always. Your knowing is with you always and you are deepening your connection to it more and more. And the way to make that faster, to soothe that impatience, is to allow it, is to soften it. And we understand that that sounds counterintuitive, but the speed you are seeking will arrive when you allow it rather than when you force it. And that is true of everything. We love you. We love you. We love you. Go well.

Sami: Thank you. That's wonderful. Welcome back. Hello!

Medha: Thank you. I'll just pause all the things.

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