When ‘not in the mood’ is actually your wisdom speaking…
I normally like to plan ahead and be organised.
I also like to follow my inner guidance and inspiration, and have learned that forcing myself to do stuff when I’m not in the mood guarantees that I’ll be doing it with split energy (which only ever produces mediocre results).
I had 2 podcast recordings scheduled this week, but due to unforeseen circumstances, neither happened. Which means that at the time that I'm writing this (11:03am Sunday), we have nothing ready to release next week.
Not releasing an episode this coming week doesn’t feel right. But if I want to release one, I need to give my team a recording by tomorrow night.
The part of me that loves organisation and order (let's call her Organised Medha), tried to pressure me to record something, anything, solo.
But I don’t feel like it. So Inspiration Medha said no.
How does this seemingly intractable impasse get resolved?
I genuinely have no idea.
When you care about your spiritual and personal growth, learning to follow your guidance is the ideal. No question.
But I think we need to talk more about the fact that, until you get used to it, following your guidance can be mighty uncomfortable. Because you end up hanging out in this ‘I don’t know how the hell this is gonna work itself out’ space.
Which requires a pretty profound letting go of control (or more, accurately, letting go of the illusion of control).
A year ago, Organised Medha would’ve easily persuaded me to record something.
But today, I trust my knowing enough that if it’s telling me there’s no problem and something will work out, I believe it.
I’m signing off from this part of the email not knowing what the fuck will happen.
See you on the other side!
I'm writing this at 12:07pm Monday and surprise, surprise, my knowing was right.
Once I let go of the need to ‘fix the lack of podcast episode’ (because honestly, what does it matter if that doesn’t get resolved?), I went about my day.
After taking the dogs for a walk and having a shower, inspiration hit me so abruptly that I practically ran from the shower to the recording studio without stopping to put on pants!!
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