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  • Medha Murtagh

The Return to Wholeness Process

I've always cared about authentically sharing with you what channeling Oron is like for me as a human. Yes, it's magical and extraordinary, but it's not insurance against bad crap happening in my world.



As I navigate a scary health diagnosis, I share with you my humanness and how I use what I've learned through Oron to make my way through this shitty experience. And although it does suck, I'm doing a couple of super important things that are helping it to suck way less and I want to share them with you. Ready to hear me bare my soul? Well, all righty, read on.


One of the things that I see most often in my clients, friends, people, humans in general is that when we have a desire to consciously expand to use our energy to magnetise amazing things, there can be a massive tendency to do something that we don't realise that we're doing.


We do it in an attempt to expand. We do it in an attempt to move towards what we want.


We superimpose positivity over the top of our pain.



I have a lot of murky emotions around this diagnosis. In particular, what has been stuck in my mind is the idea that was planted by the specialist who gave me the diagnosis (and also by the small amount of Googling that I allowed myself to do) that said that this condition is something that gets progressively worse over time.


Yes, I’m doing the work and yes, I’ve got Oron’s support. But I also still feel the human emotions of “Fuck this!” and “This isn’t fair”. These feelings are not linear. I don't just feel them once and then they’re done, and then I get to relish in positive, expansive thoughts like, “Oh, yes, this is an opportunity for growth and expansion, hurray!”


Sometimes the most productive thing for me to do is to think expansive thoughts and to build my awesome.

Sometimes the most productive thing for me to do is to really just be with my feelings - the parts of me that are holding those feelings - and help them to feel understood, to feel seen, to feel heard.


When I have that fear coming up for me, when my consciousness takes me to the place inside of myself that’s saying, "Hey, I'm a bit worried and anxious about this," it's super tempting to go, "No, no. Because we have the naturopath and miracles are possible, and we're going to work on gut health, and that's going to fix the immunity, and I'll be totally fine."


But that just makes the parts of me that are feeling scared feel like they're not being heard. Like they're being argued with.


Thinking positive thoughts and practicing gratitude are vitally important.


However, it's only really going to be wildly productive for me when I do the other step FIRST.


When I honour my negative or challenging feelings first - as they come up. Because that’s a part of me that's asking for help.


It's a part of me that wants to be understood. It's a part of me that needs something.


These parts only come up when they have something that they want from me. Otherwise, they would remain hidden. They wouldn't come up into my consciousness.


Or yours.


Our consciousness is this amazing spotlight that shines on whatever is next for us.


Building the awesome, doing affirmations and visualizations and thinking positive thoughts when you're already feeling good is a fabulous way to lift your vibration. It's extraordinary. Play with it.


But the moment that something comes up into your attention that feels low or heavy - whether it's fear or jealousy or resentment - the moment that happens, if you try to superimpose positive thoughts over the top of that, if you try to argue that perspective away with facts and logic, then that part of you will feel unheard. They will feel not understood.


And all that does is split your energy.


So my challenge and your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to not push against.

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That's the ultimate goal of what Oron is trying to encourage us towards.


And to ultimately arrive at the goal of not fighting against, we have to start with not fighting ourselves.


We have to be open to ourselves.


We have to support ourselves.


We have to nourish ourselves.


We have to understand the parts of us deeply.


Because the thing is, we think we understand them. We have a superficial, mind-based understanding of what these parts of us are thinking. “Yeah, they're feeling scared. Yeah, but they shouldn't feel scared because…”; Yeah, they're feeling jealous. But jealousy is a low vibration emotion, and we don't want to be that person. So let's not think that because…”


Arguing with those parts of ourselves is shutting them down. It's disconnecting from them. It's telling them no.


And there is no way that any part of you is going to hear that message and then be open to the expansion that's available for you.


Because that expansion is only available when ALL of you is on board.


The expansion is therefore only available on the other side of the shitty emotion that's coming up to get your attention.


So, yes, the ultimate goal that you have of thinking positive thoughts, experiencing gratitude, focusing on the positive? It's awesome. Brilliant. Good.


But if at any moment you become aware of a part of you that is feeling the opposite, please don't argue with it.


As best you can, turn to it as though it was a friend who was in pain that needed to be heard.


When we're telling ourselves that we don't count by telling parts of us that they don't count or they don't matter - there’s just no way to walk that path and end up at wholeness or harmony or peace or self-love.


You can't beat yourself into expansion and you can't reject yourself into self love.



The more you build that sense of self-love inside of yourself, the more you radiate that out into the world and the more that comes back to you.


It is still surprising to me how much I can uncover when I sit with those parts of me that are experiencing pain or fear or jealousy or any kind of contracted emotion or energy.


When they come up and get my attention and I am genuinely there for them, and I'm open to hearing them, I am so often surprised by what I find at the core of what I had thought that I already understood.


This isn't a mental process. This is an emotionally connected process. And it's a Return to Wholeness.


There's a difference between indulging negative emotion and supporting yourself through it.


The aim of the Return to Wholeness Process is to help you to be there for yourself. To deeply understand yourself, create a scaffolding of support for yourself and encourage yourself to feel valued, prioritised heard, nourished, encouraged, supported because you can't cut out the bad emotions.


You can't cut out the parts of you that hold those emotions that you consider bad and expand or move towards wholeness.


I truly feel that as we start to harmonise inside of ourselves, to connect inside of ourselves, to support ourselves, to help us to feel important and valued and loved, we're going to stop seeking that from the outside in the same way that we have always done.


That's when we're going to be a match to an amazing world.


As we cut through the division in ourselves, there will be less of that in the external world.


And, holy kombucha, that's going to be awesome!