Releasing the constant need to achieve
I spent another few days sick in bed last week. I had to cancel fun plans and client sessions so I could nurse a ferociously aching head.
I heard myself say ‘I wonder how many more days I have left this lifetime and how many of them will be headache days…’ to the Sailor Boy.
The Sailor Boy is the most healthy and physically vibrant person I know. He treats his body ... let's just say 'not like a temple', yet his body insists on remaining a magnificent specimen of physical vitality and health.
I often demand that he squeeze me tight, so he can impart some of his physical vitality energy to me. He tries...
Nothing teaches you to stop demanding things from yourself as much as feeling really bloody sick. I can't expect anything from myself when I’m in that condition. Although I’m never delighted when headaches force me to bed, I've recently become very aware that the more this happens, the more I'm percolating in the space and energy of 'putting zero demands on myself'. Not just 'less' demands. Zero demands. And the more time I spend in that space, the more I'm starting to understand it from the inside. I had a healing a while ago whose main message was that my life and work need to feel to me like I'm permanently on holiday. Because that's the environment that will inspire me to create, share and receive great things. I felt the truth of it, and commited to learning to live in easeful, spacious, joyful alignment. So do I love the headaches because they're teaching me exactly what I said I wanted to learn so I can 'live my best life'? Not exactly. I'm not a massive fan of pain. But I mostly don't hate them either (except when I do). Once I started feeling better, I remembered that the day before I got sick, I’d done 2 things:
1. I had a phenomenally powerful session with my kinesiologist.
2. While in meditation, I'd asked for a transformative physical healing. 🤦♀️ I did initially wonder if thinking that my sickness was a ‘healing crisis’ was me bullshitting myself. But when the pain eased, I felt significantly better. As in better than before I’d gotten sick. The fact that I was also visited by more of the emotional detox bombs that I mentioned in this blog 📩 confirmed it for me.
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