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  • Writer's pictureMedha Murtagh

Episode 98 – Uplevelling, ascension symptoms and how to really learn to love ourselves

Updated: Feb 28, 2023

Oron chat with Kendra about uplevelling and ascension symptoms. Oron also explain in very practical terms how to learn to love and accept the part of ourselves we often consider bad, and why doing that matters.

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What's the best way to deal with uplevelling? [starts at 00:00:13]

Ascension symptoms [starts at 00:07:02]


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Oron: We are here and ready. Let's play.

Kendra: So I have some questions around up levelling. So I was recently quite sick for about two weeks and really felt the whole time that it was part of up levelling. I felt my spirits and guides come into me and let me know that this is what was happening and it was a ton of sleeping, sweating, eyes watering even when my eyes were closed, that kind of thing. So I'm just wondering how up levelling works. Really. And is there - I assume it's different for everyone, even different for me at different times. And is there a way to go through it gracefully, empowered, really getting the best result?

Oron: The process of Up Levelling is exactly as you said. It is something that varies person to person, but it also varies moment to moment. And the reason for that variation is because the process that you and the physicality of you, the body of you, the 3D aspect of you, the interaction that you have with the up levelling, as you call it, the changing of a vibration - we'll say the different way.

The truth about up levelling is that it is something you are undergoing in every moment of every day. The constant expansion of the universe is not something that excludes you. You and the universe one. And so you are always growing and you are always evolving.

It is when there is an experience of, we will say, faster growth, more pronounced change, more of a difference between where you were in the previous moment and where you're going to be in the next moment. When there is a more dramatic up levelling happening, there is often an effect that the physical body can experience so that it does the process of letting go of things that are not in vibrational match to the place that you are going.

You are correct in saying that each person experiences it differently and also that one person can experience it differently moment to moment, day to day. And the reason for that is in each moment you have a different energetic configuration than what you had in the moment before. You are not always aware of it, you are not always conscious. And the changes are so subtle that it would take a really heightened level of consciousness for you to be able to perceive it at all. But you are definitely different in perceptible ways when that subtlety is present.

And as you change and grow and evolve, there is a shifting of yourself. And by yourself we mean all aspects of you, multi dimensional aspects of you, physical aspects of you, emotional aspects of you, mental aspects of you. There is a shift that happens. And one of the ways to allow yourself to move through it with more grace is the same thing that we would advise to anyone who wants to move through anything with more grace, and that is to not fight and resist the process.

There is a lot of misunderstanding, particularly in the spiritual community and people looking to use the law of attraction and things like that in order to claim their power in the world. There is a misunderstanding about the value of what you consider positive experiences versus the value of what you consider negative experiences.

We will tell you that from the perspective of the universe there is nothing that is wrong in the way that you perceive it. And although you will always be having preferences and you will always deep down and wish to feel good because that is your actual natural state, there is a feeling sometimes that when you feel bad that that is wrong. And what we wish to encourage you all to realize is that sometimes in order for you to move the entirety of you to a more uplifted to a more flowing, to a more joyous state, sometimes what is required is a facing of some difficulties rather than trying to pretend that they do not exist.

Your bodies are in some ways the densest part of you, the densest energy of you. That does not make it less than that does not make it lower than the more high frequency aspects of you that are able to shift and change, such as your consciousness, moment to moment. Your body is a little bit more slow in comparison to your emotions and your mind to uplift itself to go through the process of evolution. But there is nothing wrong with that. And as the frequency of your physical body starts to increase more and more and more and more you will find that there is less of what you call ascension symptoms.

Ascension symptoms are something that is sometimes created by you because of your understanding of ascension symptoms. Some of you subconsciously have come to associate ascension symptoms with growth. And because you are so incredibly powerful, there are instances for some of you where that belief structure is in place and therefore there is some discomfort experience to highlight you the fact that you are evolving. Which is actually not always necessary.

But as you have the intention of learning to support yourself - all aspects of yourself. Including your body and lower vibration aspects of you, not just in the 3D blend - correction. Not just in the 3D world, but also in your emotions and your mental constructs and the ways that you speak about yourself. As you start to nurture yourself more and more and more in those realms, you will find that you are able to move more smoothly through any necessary physical discomfort as you release and as you expand and as you evolve.

We wish to say that the requirement for such discomfort is growing less and less. There is a dropping away of the necessity for that, which is why we highlight it to you so that you can employ your consciousness and your intention to clear the way for yourself energetically, so that you are no longer expecting to have to deal with ascension symptoms any time you make what you consider a quantum leap in your own growth.

Kendra: I love to hear that because I was thinking about that as I was in bed and I thought, oh my gosh, every time I do a quantum leap, is this what's going to happen? So I love that this doesn't have to be a thing.

Oron: We will say more about that. We will say more about that. Sometimes the quantum leaps that you have are a little bit of a rough ride for another reason. The ability of moving in quantum is available to all of you, but it is much more smooth when you stand in the place that you currently stand and not reject that or deem it wrong.

Sometimes there is a level of tension when you are willing yourself to expand in the quantum level. You are willing yourself to do that with a level of resistance. Again, what - correction. With a level of resistance to where you are standing. And even a small amount of that can create a really bumpy ride when you're dealing with quantum frequencies. And so there are many ways that you can learn to support yourself and encourage yourself to move more smoothly.

We would like to say something that might be counterintuitive to some of you. The more you don't feel that you need quantum leaps, the more available there will be for you.

Kendra: Can you expand on that?

Oron: If you experience yourself having a level of need or desperation for a quantum leap, there is automatically resistance to the experience that you are having in the moment. There is a difference between standing somewhere and being open to quantum change and dreaming of it with deliciousness, with total and utter acceptance of where you are in the moment and not needing it to happen for you to feel that things are going well for you. That is a place of openness, allowing and it creates a space for magic to happen in a profound way for you.

But if what you are doing is wishing to get away from where you are, which many of you may not realize is why you sometimes are praying for quantum leaps. If there is that level of tension and resistance, then that ride, if it is called to you because of the intensity of your desire, will be more bumpy and more uncomfortable than it would be if you are totally okay with being where you are, but also excited for the more.

Kendra: That makes a lot of sense.

Oron: The process of creation is a moving towards. It's an expansive energy. It has a layer of, we will say, relief to it. When you move from a place of some tension to dropping that tension, that feeling that you experience, that is the quality of the creation power that you have. And any level of contraction and tension that is brought to it will guarantee that things will not be as easeful and as smooth.

And again we will say there is no problem with that because there is no objective wrong way for you to do your life or to grow and to evolve. But we understand that your question is coming from a place of wishing for more harmony, for more easefulness, for more flow. And so we encourage you to play with these concepts inside of yourself and play with your intention and also your expectation with, we will not say brutal honesty, but we will say candidness within the self so that you are able to see the pockets where there is a tiny little percentage of you that is wishing to get away from where you are.

And though most of you is looking forward to the future with excitement, as you take the time to nurture and play with the part of you that may not be ready or is a little scared of the unknown or of what is coming next and as you encourage that part to share its concerns with you and you meet them and that part starts to feel safe enough to get a little bit excited about what's coming next. That's the best place to stand. Appreciating where you are, appreciating where you've been, with a space of open energy, looking forward to them all. You invite miracles in that way.

Kendra: I love the way Oron puts this because it makes it simpler to understand and they deliver it with kindness, right? Like using the word candidness, inviting me to be candid with that, with my internal work.

Oron: The reason that we are mindful of some of the words that we use is because we are fortunate enough to be energetically connected to each and every one of you. And we are aware that one of the patterns that we are supporting you in letting go of or moving beyond is the pattern of beating yourself into your expansion, of decreeing the things that you have done previously wrong and coming down on yourself and contracting your own energy specifically so that you can encourage yourself to move towards expansion.

There is a hardness that our human friends tend to have with themselves, that they do not have to the same degree with members of their family or other beings that they adore. And our biggest act of service that we can provide for you is to share with you our deep and profound love for you so that we can be a mirror for you of how incredibly lovable and loved you are.

We have said before and Medha has repeated it many times that your self love is the most healing force in the universe. And we see many of our beautiful friends who are experiencing pain, going to different healers and different practitioners asking for healing and requesting it from the higher realms. And although that is a wonderful thing to do and we invite you to do it always because the level of support available to you in the energetic realm is unquantifiable, the most healing thing for you - for all of you - is to build inside of you the level of safety, the level of communication, the level of nourishing encouraging support that is what real actual selflove is.

We will preface what we are saying with this. Your self love is at the center of you and you can never disconnect from it because it is the essence of who you are. However, in your lived experience, it is very difficult for you - correction. In your lived experience it is very easy for you to disconnect from the experience of yourself love. And we will give you what is potentially a spoiler by saying this when Medha takes people through the Return to Wholeness process or when people do that process with and for themselves, when you become used to finding the pockets of energy inside of yourself that you used to deem wrong - for example jealousy or resentment or fear or doubt - when you are trying to be a conscious creator and you are trying to follow the model of only thinking positive so that you only bring positive results into your world, you are forgetting the fact that the universe mirrors the totality of you back to you and those pockets of energy is just as powerful and just as creative as the ones that think and feel the ways that you wish all of you would think and feel.

And so as you turn to those parts over and over again with openness and with love, and as you learn to hear them and create the safety for them so that they will communicate with you freely, what you will always uncover 100% of the time is that these pockets of energy, these aspects of you have got your best interest at heart. They adore you and they have a current world view that demands them to behave in the exact way that they are doing in order to take their best care of you. They are either trying to protect you from something or trying to create something, given how they perceive the world and the universe to be. And the more that you reject them and tell them that they are wrong and bad, the more you disconnect from them. And what happens then is that there is no communication available to support that part of you, to change their perspective so that they can come on board for the journey.

But the biggest thing that happens when you reject those aspects is you are rejecting yourself. You are telling yourself that your feelings don't matter, that those concerns are irrelevant and you need to get it together and go ahead anyway, feel the fear and do it anyway. When that is the message you are giving to a part of you, that is the message you are giving to the whole of you. You cannot love just some aspects of you and hate on others and then feel loved.

The reason many of you confuse self love with self care is because you do not yet understand the fact that there is no part of you that is wrong, there is no part of you that is bad. And every single aspect of you thinks and feels the way they do for a valid - correction. For a very valid reason. And it would behoove you to create the safety inside of yourself, to be able to hear what is going on there and to learn to support yourself.

And as you do that, more and more, you will start to feel like someone who is supported, you will start to feel like someone who is heard, you will start to fuel like someone who is valued. You will start to see - correction. You will start to see yourself and know yourself as someone whose needs are taken care of.

And as you do that for yourself, you are on both sides of the transaction. You are building your connection to yourself in the universe and you are receiving all of that love. And as you do that, and you start to feel yourself, you will be looking not just at yourself differently, but also the world. You will no longer be looking for people outside of you to make you feel lovable. When people say things that are not loving to you, you will not take them as evidence that you are not loved. You will instead wonder what is going on for them and wish them well. Because you'll no longer be looking externally to soothe the wounds that you carry inside of yourself.

And we will say this with so much love: you wound yourself daily by rejecting yourself and telling yourself that you should be doing better and you know better, and you just need to generally be better. You are the Divine in a human body, and many of you are reading books and trying to meditate in order to access that experience for yourself while simultaneously in your lived day to day moments, you speak to yourself in ways that you would never speak to anyone outside of yourself.

And so this is not in any way a criticism, but this is a mirror. We are showing yourself to you so you can then make more informed choices about how you interact with yourself in your world. And your self love is the most healing thing in the entirety of the universe. So go to practitioners, ask for healing, do all of those things. But if you were to add moving to a place of genuine self love as a lived experience in the way you talk about yourself and feel about yourself inside of yourself, the ways you interact with yourself, you will start to feel the magical vibration of what life is meant to feel like for each and every one of you. You will start to feel, as Medha said in the conversation she had with you before you hit the record button, you will start to feel as though you are a fairy sprinkling fairy dust because you will be emitting the energies of the vibration of love.

And although each of you is the energy and the vibration of love, it is the essence of who you are, when there is a lot of heaviness and restriction and division, it is not possible for that to radiate out into the world in the same way that is available when you are in harmony with yourself. You are all infinitely lovable and you are on - correction. And you are all infinitely loved.

And the spoiler we were speaking about earlier is this: you will find that no matter how much you hate the parts of you that have got the more low vibration emotions, no matter how much you try and wish them away and cut them out of you, you try, for example, to cut the doubt out of you so that you will be left with just confidence. But that is not how it works. That is like trying to chop your arm off in order to become a better self. Every single part of you is valuable.

What you will find as you start to open up and go deep with these parts of you is that no matter how much you try and get rid of them, these parts of you are constantly working for your benefit given the world view that they currently have. These parts of you adore you and you cannot hate them enough to make them not love you. They are the holders of the unconditional love that you are all looking for in the external world. It is already within each and every one of you. There is so much love inside of you for you.

And as you relax the barriers that you have had against the aspects of yourself and start to commune with yourself inside of yourself, you will start to see that and feel that. You will feel the unconditional love that you have for you that is sometimes obscured by the fact that you wear glasses inside of yourselves with a slightly different perspective than the truth of what exists, which is that you are infinitely lovable. You are also infinitely loved. And you are here to live however you wish. But it is possible for you to relax into a place of such profound and deep self love that you will be walking around sprinkling fairy dust and things will feel lighter and easier and more joyous, and you will not resist what is in front of you because you will not be resisting yourself.

As you start to soften your relationship with yourself and create that level of deep, profound connection and support, you will feel that same experience being mirrored back to you by the universe. And that is the miraculous living that you are all looking for. And it is available and you are doing the work. And we'd say with so much love that we love you. We love you. We love you. Go well.

Medha: Could you feel overlooking that?

Kendra: Yes.

Medha: Oh, my god.

Kendra: Well, I really felt they were talking to me.

Medha: Yeah. Yeah, they're talking to each and every one of us. Like, in a really personal way. It's magical.

Kendra: Because I feel like as I peel back the layers, as I do the work, then there's a new thing. And in my mind, I think, like, a new negative. And I think, okay, now I've got to clear that.

Medha: That's what everyone thinks. Yes, I know.

Kendra: And there's a couple of things that I really beat myself up about. You know, if I could just be better in that situation, then X-Y-Z kind of thing. And I've heard on previous podcasts - I'm so thankful they explained it more. I was still trying to grasp how we take that, our so called perceived negative things about ourselves and own it, love it versus the need to let it go.

Medha: Yeah, I get it because I think I've ranted about this a bunch of times. A lot of the letting go in spirituality is actually getting things to fuck off. Like, it's rejection. We say the nice word, letting go, but what we really mean is go the fuck away. I don't want to be resentful, I don't want to be jealous, I don't want to be doubtful, I don't want to blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And they said it really well as well. It's like we try and cut those bits out of ourselves so that we're just left with the positive. Right? But that's not possible. It's just a part of us is a part of us. And it's a part of us. That's just it. It's just a part of us.

Kendra: And I think too, my friends, I don't care. Like, I don't care if they're jealous. Do you know what I mean? It was so clear. Fantastic.

Medha: Yeah, it kind of blew me away that actually. I always feel that heart energy when they come through. But I think that's the first time I've cried like that after a session. It's like my whole body was radiating. They're just directing love, like, so much love to all of us. And there's not even like even a 0.01% of do better. There's no do better in any of their vibe. Like, nothing. We don't have to do anything any differently. They just know that we want more harmony. So they are telling us the things that might help us, what - that will help us access more harmony. But they just have like, just so much love.

Kendra: Well, I think of when I'm in that pure love zone, it's flow. And whatever I'm doing is love. Like you said, it's that fairy dust sprinkling thing.

Medha: Yeah. I think for me, the thing that let me do this, like what they're saying, I didn't used to understand it very well. So for me, the Return to Wholeness process is the how. Because I could never understand the how. How do I accept myself? How do I love? How? And that process of finding the pockets or the aspects and actually learning to be open to them and not be pretending that I'm open and really I'm just trying to get rid of - really learning to have a dialogue. And it's the most amazing thing in the universe because when you create that safety inside of yourself and you actually talk to them, the moment it's safe, they share everything with you. Like, everything. And what they are. It's like I feel like they're actually the key to all the things that we want, but because we disconnect from them, we disconnect from their wisdom. There's always something in fear, there's always something in doubt, there's always something in jealousy, there's always something in resentment. And if we're going go away, no, we can't get the gold and you can't create all the things without all the pieces.

It's like we think we can manifest with just these bits of us, the bits we think are good. We try and yell our positivity so it's louder and bigger and try and pretend we haven't got the doubt, haven't got the fear so that we can manifest good things. But it doesn't work like that.

Kendra: Like I said, I've never thought of it like that. And it's the same thing as if I want to go for a walk and my foot is sore. Well, I still go for a walk. My foot is sore. Maybe I don't walk as fast, whatever, but I take my whole body with me.

Medha: Yeah, you don't try and chop your foot off and leave it there. Exactly.

Kendra: So then why wouldn't I be doing the same thing internally? Like, it's just blowing my mind.

Medha: Yeah, and it's like it takes a level of subtlety to be able to even see how much self rejecting we do when we're trying to cut those bits out. It takes a certain level of consciousness to see it, because I think for a long time I could go, oh, yeah, I get it. But I didn't get it. Like, I had to go deeper with it before I could actually get it.

And there was a podcast episode a while ago where I talked about I caught myself beating myself up. Like something happened with my dog. And I was, like, a bit frantic, and I was like, well, why did my guidance take me there? My dog got attacked. And I was like, well, why did I ever go there? I never go there. I never go at that time, what's wrong with me? Why did I not feel the energetics? And why would I put myself in that? And I was beating myself up, and I had this moment of clarity where I just paused and I went and I took a snapshot of what my body feels like when I talk to myself like that, because it's really rare now that I'll do that. And I was like, fuck. The impact of me talking to myself. It's like I was driving to the emergency vet, I was so fucking tense and I was so like that and then okay. And then to soothe myself, like, you care about your dog. You would never do anything to hurt your dog. If you had known, you wouldn't have. And who knows why this happened?

And it turned out my dog was covered in blood, but he was fine. But he was totally fine because he had had stitches and they'd just been pulled apart a little bit. So he was covered in blood, which fucking terrified me. I took him to the emergency vet and they went, "Oh his fine," right? Like totally, totally fine. Even though it did not look at all like he was fine. He was agitated and stuff.

Anyway, that experience, because I had the contrast available, I could see how impactful it is when we talk to ourselves like that. It is devastating. But when you're doing it every day, you don't realize it's devastating because you're like a fish in water, right? Like, this is just what's normal. And if I want to be my better self, this is what I have to do to make that happen. So it's worth it. We're not even aware we are numb to the pain of it.

But if you imagine someone else talking to you that way and telling you, "Why the hell aren't you just doing better than this? You've read enough books, like you know enough. Why the fuck would you like, you're an idiot." If someone said that to you, you would go. But we say it to ourselves and we think it doesn't hurt us because we're numb to how much it impacts us, but we only don't feel it because we're so buried in our own pain that we cause to ourselves every fucking day.

Kendra: Yeah, and the other thing they said too, they were talking about along what you're saying, like, we hold ourselves to such high expectations. Well, I shouldn't be like that. I should be like that. And I agree, we are divine beings. We were built perfect, we were all that kind of thing. So it's like I know that. And then there's the disconnect. I wasn't confused when I listened to the other podcasts along this line. I was like, I need more clarification on this because I don't get it.

Medha: I totally understand that. And again, for me, I will never say that my technique is like the one and blah, blah, blah. But I will say that for me, the return to wholeness process technique is what made it practical and understandable and doable like the idea of sitting down and actually working with the parts and finding places of acceptance and having clarity around when we're really not accepting it. So I don't know if you've got the free mini course that I've done because that's a really good. Like I care about this being available to people. I don't want people to have to pay me a dollar to have this technique. Like if people want to work with me or that's different, but it's available for free for a really specific purpose. And that's this the shit we're seeing in the world right now, the incredible division and the fighting and all the lack of safety, all of that is a reflection of how we eat, interacting with ourselves moment to moment, day to day. I genuinely believe that if we start to create that harmony inside of each of us as individuals, we'll see that reflected in the world.

It can't be any other way. And so, yeah, that return to wholeness mini course, it's not overwhelming, it's very manageable, but it's the how to of what to do practically to put all this all on stuff into actual practise, moment to moment, day to day in your life.

Kendra: I love that. I have a feeling when I first saw it, I probably downloaded it and looked at it and went, not right now.

Medha: Yeah, well, when it feels time, play with it because honestly, it's like really practical and accessible because it's like a free thing, right? So it can't be overwhelming, but it's got the bones enough to help you start to actually do it in the world. For anyone who's listening, who's interested in how the hell do I actually do this, that's one way that I have found wildly fucking life changing for myself and my clients, actually. Because you do everything that Oral was talking about. Like when you uncover that those parts of us actually adore us even though we hate them and all they're doing is trying to take care of us in profound ways no matter how much we hate them. That's nice to hear, right? But when you actually discover it in your own lived experience and you discover it again and again and again, the other thing that happens is it gets easier to do spiritual work because next time you find a shit thing, you don't come down on yourself. You don't beat yourself up in order to make sure you don't fuck up again. Next time you bring love to yourself, you bring openness.

So it's like all of these parts that were previously hidden, they're like, oh, hello and also, can you please look at me and how can I get some help? And they all just come with all of their wisdom and all of their answers and then that's why it's called return to wholeness. Then we reconnect with a pocket of energy that was holding the anger that we were rejecting and we get the gifts and the wisdom of all of that and we become whole again because we're not rejecting and blocking all the aspects in the ways that we have been trained to. Really, it just makes gross. I grow so much more quickly and painlessly now. Than I used to. Back when I was trying to beat myself to be better. That was so fucking ineffective. But I had no idea because I had no contract, because I thought that was the only way. But now, in hindsight, so slow and ineffective because it's like the difference between having a boss that when you discover you did something wrong, you go to them and ask for help and they coach you and you get better. Or having a boss that beat the shit out of you or tells you off or humiliates you in front of your coworkers when the time you could do something better.

Medha: Like which one is more conducive to a progression in your employment skills? Right? Like, which one? It's so obvious because when someone comes down hard enough, we're scared of making a mistake. And we're tense and are contracted. Of course we are. And we understand that in relationship to an external relationship, but we don't seem to get it in terms of a relationship with ourselves. We make ourselves back intense and stressed and like, you don't want to upset the tyrant. That's the relationship we have with ourselves. And then we wonder why we don't feel loved. Like what Oron said.

Kendra: It's so fascinating to me. I feel like I'm going to listen to this podcast 50 times.

Medha: Yeah, I agree. Yeah, me too. But I haven't released them. I don't know if I might have released them by the time this goes out. The last two that I recorded, I have to listen to them 50 times a while. Something's happened and there's been an up level. That's what your question was about. I feel like there must have been an upleveling possibly in me, I don't know. But the magic and the energy and the information, it just feels different to me. Like I said, I don't normally cry like that after a session, but I was so moved by all of the love. It's just love. It's just support. There's no hidden agenda. There's nothing that we have to pay back. Like, it's truly unconditional love and support. And we don't have to do a single thing to earn it at all. And that's what seems side of us when we unpack our resistance to the parts as well. So that's why they're the mirror. Oh my God. Thank you. That was just so extraordinarily awesome.

Kendra: Thank you.

Medha: My pleasure. We're just going to stop the recordings.

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