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  • Writer's pictureMedha Murtagh

Episode 89 – Right, wrong and spirituality

Updated: Feb 28, 2023

In this episode, I share the massive insights that have arisen as I make my way through a pretty shit time. I discuss the embodied clarity I’m getting around the relationship between intention, power, dominance and allowing, and what it really takes to be a conscious creator of lives on this planet.

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In this episode, I share the massive insights that have arisen as I make my way through a pretty shit time. I discuss the embodied clarity I'm getting around the relationship between intention, power dominant, and allowing, and what it really takes for us to become conscious creators of our life on this planet. Let's do it.

Welcome to A Clear Perspective, the podcast that helps you remember who you really are, what you really want, and the easiest way to get it. I'm Medha, and I'm a direct voice channel for Oron, who give us straight talking, practical guidance to help us live joyful lives of abundance, ease, and positive impact the way we were meant to.

It's been a few weeks now since I've given you an update on how I'm moving through my health stuff and my spiritual up levelling stuff, and basically just all of the stuff. And I felt inspired to come and tell you some more about how it's all going. I am again still in it and speaking to you from the place of being in it and discovering the process that I'm moving through as I move through it. Health wise, I haven't been feeling great. There's been a lot of headaches, there's been a lot of cancelling plans. But what I'm finding really interesting is that even though physically my body is in a place of difficulty and discomfort, I genuinely, honestly feel like I can say without bullshitting either myself or you, I'm not really fighting it. I'm not loving it. I'm not going, yay, another headache. Yay, another cancel plan. But compared to what it's been like for the last couple of years when the physical symptoms flare up, I really feel like, kind of okay with it. Like I'm okay with where it is. I'm okay with the fact that to use old words, I haven't fixed it and it's still present.

And when I say old words, I feel like that's how I've been looking at this health stuff for the last couple of years. But it doesn't feel like the place that I'm looking at it from, or rather, experiencing it from now. And there's something else that I've started to experience as I've been moving into this new level of consciousness, as I've been describing it for a really long time. I have understood with my mind the theoretical idea that pushing against the universe is not a productive thing to do. On a mental theoretical level, I have understood that it's not ideal to push against, to fight against, to resist what is. Yes. And I've been trying to encourage myself with my energy and my self talk, to do that, to stop pushing, to stop manipulating, to stop dominating, to stop trying to control. But what I feel like I've uncovered now, and not just as an idea, but as an experience that I've genuinely touched a few times, is that deeper than pushing? Isn't optimal deeper than that? There's kind of a sense that I've experienced that there's no right and wrong. Now this can get a little complicated and I'm not going to get super philosophical around it because there's morality and horrendous things that happen in the world.

And so what I'm experiencing as I move through this process is that I'm touching these moments of there's no right and there's no wrong. And if that's the place that I was living from, I automatically wouldn't be pushing. Like I automatically naturally, spontaneously wouldn't be fighting or on has said this approximately a billion times that power isn't dominance. Power isn't dominance. And again, I've understood that theoretically and actually in an embodied way in a range of different ways. But I'm starting to really, truly feel inside my Benness how much I was still trying to dominate, how much I was still using my desire and my preferences in a way that I felt like they were right and the opposite of them was wrong. Now Lauren has said again a million times that this process, this becoming a conscious creator thing isn't about not having preferences. We're always going to have preferences. Our intuition, our energetics, we're all going to be guarded to particular things and there's nothing wrong with that and there's actually nothing wrong with anything but the fact that I prefer something. If I have that preference sitting on top of an idea that the opposite of what I want is wrong, then I am going to be in some way and in some level resisting what is.

And when we resist what is, when we fight what is, we can never win. We can never win. So I know that I have always had a really big will. Ever since I was young, I've been like ambitious and I've wanted the things that I want and I don't want the things that I don't want. I'm really clear about what those things are and I've taken steps to correct the things that I want and avoid the things that I don't want. That's how I've lived for most of my life. And so my spirituality, my movement towards trying to find alignment and expansion and allowing us and flow has mostly been around not pushing this whole health thing. I feel like the ultimate lesson of it for me has been not pushing so that I'm acting from inspiration that I am alignment with my own preferences and my energetic impulses, but in a way that isn't fighting against and resisting against the opposite. So as I move through this, as I move through this process of really honestly learning to not fight or resist and I'll give you an example of how I know that I'm moving through this and starting to embody it now with the headaches that I've had and the health issues that I've had, I've like I said, I had to cancel a lot of plans and there's been many days where I have just kind of lied around and rested with my eyes closed.

So if you look at me, I look like I'm achieving not a single thing. And I've been getting really good at resting throughout this whole health thing. So over the last couple of years I've been getting better and better and better and better at resting. But what I've noticed that's available to me now, which was not available to me a month ago, is that I'm spending all this time resting and I'm not needing to remind myself that it's okay that I'm not achieving things. My natural state now and this may change. I don't know how this is going to unfold for me, but my natural state for the moment is that if I need to cancel the plans for the day and just relax and chill out, I don't have to remind myself that it's okay for me to do that. Like I'm already in a place where I'm okay with that. I'm not fighting. Like I'm not pushing, I'm not fighting and that's great. But I feel like this skill set of accepting what is not in a defeated way, but in this is what is true right now way. And so I'm going to flow with it because it is as it is.

I feel like that skill set is really young for me and I'm developing the skillset more and more. So as the weeks go past, I'm seeing myself become more able to naturally and spontaneously be not fighting rather than having to remind myself to not fight or tense against things. So I feel like that process is still unfolding and as that skill set gets more solid in me, that skillset of not fighting, I think that's when I'm going to want to play with intention and manifestation and creation. Because right now, in the recent past at least anytime I think about doing that, I get tense inside of myself. I get a no. I get an energetic no. If I was to sit down and try and feel into my future me and create that from inside of myself, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, I still haven't disentangled intention from dominance. I still haven't disentangled the ability of being a powerful creator from the feeling that I'm responsible to create. And so I feel like that's what I'm percolating in now. I am percolating in the state of allowing of not even fighting the fact that I've got a massive fucking headache again.

I don't love it. I'm not doing cartwheels about it. My headache wouldn't let me anyway. But the point is I'm okay with that. And I also feel like at some point it will naturally change. But I'm not trying to fast forward to that point. And more than that, I'm not decreasing the fact that I haven't fixed this yet wrong. I'm not even declaring the headache wrong. And I'm checking in with myself as I speak to make sure I'm not bullshitting myself. And you as well, but I genuinely honestly feel like I'm not. There may be another rap level of consciousness where my vision expands and I can see places where that's not strictly true. But in the extent of what I can see inside of myself right now, I am really getting to a place of embodying, not fighting. And that ability to touch occasionally the sense that there's actually no right and wrong, it just helps to deactivate that urgency. I used to fuel a real sense of urgency to get there, to get my work out to the world or to be successful or to do all my spiritual work and become more evolved.

It used to be to become enlightened, although I let that go quite a while ago. It used to have this feeling like I shouldn't be wasting time. And I feel like that's dissipated and dissolved as I've kind of stepped into this higher level of consciousness. So I'm still making my way through this. I haven't untangled at all. I haven't solved it all. I don't yet know how to embody being a really powerful conscious creator person who totally doesn't fight and doesn't resist anything, flow creating with the power that creates universes. I used to feel like I understood that more, actually, before I entered into this state of consciousness, I used to feel like I theoretically understood it more. Whereas now that I'm at this level and I feel like I'm at kindergarten, maybe grade one or two now that it's been a little while, I'm seeing the things that were disconnects that I didn't see before. So I will always have preferences. I will always have things that I would rather happen and things that I would rather not happen, and that's totally okay. Like, I prefer to have a day without a headache. Hell yeah, I vote for that.

But this being in the space of not resisting the opposite of it while still being connected to my preference and my desire is helping me to not try and kind of hammer the universe into place, which is what I used to do before. I'll continue to share this as it unfolds, and I do feel like I am going to at some point end up with a really clear, broad understanding of how this all works. And I'll share all of that with you as I can. I want to thank you for the beautiful messages that I've received in support of my moving through this and the fact that I'm choosing to share it. I really appreciate you being on this journey with me and being interested in it and open to it. And I hope that it's helpful to you to hear the process from someone else from the inside, because I don't know how many people actually talk about how the nitty gritty and the confusion and the misunderstanding that happens sometimes when we move to a new level than what we had before. Thank you.

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