Episode 73 – Helping people we love in pain: young people and eating disorders
Updated: Oct 16
In this episode, Oron chat with Anita about why more young people seem to be suffering from eating disorders and what we can do to help. Oron do a deep dive into the most powerful ways that we can help and support the people we care about when they are in pain.
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Oron: We are here and ready and looking forward to this exchange. It is going to be fun.
We wish to begin by saying something, however. As Medha was bringing us in today, we have mentioned before and she has also mentioned before sure that there are some changes in the inner processes that she does in order to bring us through because the energetics are always changing and expanding. And as she started to bring us through today, there was delight in her and as she experienced... She calls it a glowing heart. She senses a feeling of deep love in her heart whenever we come through for her and she delights in that. She finds it delicious.
But what we wish to say to both her and also to everybody listening is that that level of deliciousness is not something that it helps you to attribute to us because that is not the full truth. It is not something that is outside of you that creates it inside of you. It is that you have triggers that prompt you to have particular emotions. And yes, the energetics of us feel delicious, but the energetics of you are also delicious. The process that many of you are undergoing in this personal development journey - expansion journey - is often one of realizing how to unlock the doors inside of yourself that you have closed for what were valid reasons.
And so know that the joy that you feel when you look at things that you love, the thing outside of you is true to being something that already exists inside of you. It is all already inside of your heart, always. And the game is to find ways to playfully unlock the doors so that you are no longer divided into sections or rooms and you become one whole space of divinity, of deliciousness and of love. That is always at the core of you. No matter what you may be experiencing, that experience is valid, it's real. But it is more superficial than what lives at the core of you, which is the deliciousness that lives in your heart and is activated sometimes by some things. Let's play.
Anita: Wow. Well, that was such a beautiful start. Amazing. I've been noticing a lot of young people, a lot of our young people, have eating disorders and I'm wondering if there's some way to help with this, to shift this. If there's... Why is this happening and what can we do about it?
Oron: There is a lot packed into this and we will talk to you about some aspects of it that will hopefully provide some soothing and also what you are looking for, which is like a path of action so that you can be of service in this realm.
We have said this many times. Humanity is currently undergoing a process of transformation and the little ones that are coming in are coming in more highly attuned than the ones who came before. Their energy is of a higher vibration and it is faster and stronger in many ways. And that is as it should be, because the universe is always in a process of expansion and building to more. And so there is a particular sensitivity to the young ones coming in that is deeper and more profound than what has come before. We have also spoken many times previously about Maida's personal experience of growing up with an alcoholic mother who told her that she was the worst thing in the world and she would never have been born on a regular basis. And that experience, when we speak about it, can feel to some of you that listen like a terrible experience and we do not deny that it was that.
However, Medha herself is so pleased with how her life has unfolded and the way that she has reclaimed her sense of self worth after having had that other experience with such vehemence that there is nothing now that anybody could say to make her doubt her value or her worth or how loveable she is. There are sometimes ways in which moving towards the opposite of something that is valued or wanted is an incredibly, deeply, profoundly healing experience.
And so when energies are faster and stronger and sensitivities are higher, smaller blocks - we will say - smaller, blocked pieces of energy or aspect of energy have a bigger consequence and a bigger result of impact and sometimes pain for those of you that are experiencing it. Whether it's young people or older people. And so we are saying this not only in relationship to eating disorders, but in relationship to all of the difficulties that are being undergone by humans as you move forward on this planet in this life.
The issues that most of you experience really at the core have some underlying factors that it would behoove you to play with and look at and address. Self worth is one of them. Feeling that you need to earn good in your world is another. And the process of eating disorders, as well as other experiences that are brought to you by these energetics of alignment - or as some of you may call it - misalignment, bring to you the experiences and the things that show you exactly what is going on for you, bring you mirrors of what is going on for you.
And so if you see someone in front of you who is in pain and your beautiful heart is activated with a desire to be of service, to assist and to facilitate growth, it can be very tempting to look at the situation that they find themselves in and deem that situation wrong, deem it bad. And as you approach the people in pain with that energy, when they have a high level of sensitivity that can be felt by them as a statement that they are wrong and they need to change.
And so the deepest and most profound thing that we will offer you around this is that when you see that, when you see the people that you love in pain and you have the natural and instinctive desire that they be not in pain, spend a moment to connect in with yourself and remind yourself of the value and the power and the amazingness of the person that you are looking at and your desire for them to feel that in themselves. Be a mirror of that for them, so that they look at you and they do not just see concern, they do not just see you seeing them as problem.
We will say something else. Your desire to be of service here is beautiful and delicious. It comes from your generous heart, and that is a wonderful thing. But it is also, particularly with young people, difficult to stay really grounded and connected in the understanding of what it is your responsibility to do and what isn't. Do not forget that the young ones are as powerful as you when it comes to energetics and manifestation. They are strong and they are powerful, much more than what you give them credit for. The socializing process where, as they are small, you are responsible for 100% of their survival, it becomes difficult to start to release that feeling of being completely responsible, whether they are your children or children in general. The understanding or the perception is that they do not know what's best for them and they cannot look after themselves. And although there is some practical truth to that, when you see them as what they really are, beneath all of the wounding, beneath all of the pain, at the core of themselves lies all of that power and all of that worth is all throughout them, even their pain, even their difficulties.
And so it is not your job to fix them - although it can feel so deeply and profoundly like it is. But if you want to be of service, be like a rocking chair, be like a cushion, provide them some cushioning and some support, the kind of support that helps them to see themselves as what they really are, which is divine and powerful and perfect.
When you resist what they are experiencing, it can be felt by them as though you are resisting them and telling them that they should be doing better. And if that is already the narrative that is going on for them, that makes the situation difficult. They do not want to cause you pain and see that pain in your eyes when you look at them. And so resource yourself, support yourself. And then, from a place of knowing the value, the worth, the power, the strength, the validity, and the wholeness of those around you, move forward into inspired action that does not decree you stronger and more powerful than the other, but that connects into the power, the worth, the divinity, the connection, and the love and move from there.
Anita: That says it all then, doesn't it?
Oron: We return to where we started. Feel into your heart's knowing and resonance. We cannot tell you something that is not already known by you and have that residence be activated. There is deep, profound wisdom inside of you as there is inside of each of your brethren. You are so much more connected than you realize, and that is why you wish to uplift and provide assistance and service. There are many of you who have come across the spiritual idea of oneness and wish to experience that. Medha is one of them. She used to beg and plead with the universe to have the experience of oneness where she felt like one with the leaves of the trees and the fish in the oceans. She was so desperate for that experience that the lack in her around it made it impossible for her to feel it.
But we want to say to all of you, you are one. You are one. And in the ways that you reject aspects of yourself inside of you, you sometimes reject aspects and situations that are going on outside of you. And that is a mirror of what is going on inside of you. Your desire to connect and uplift is for a reason. Deep down you know that you are all intricately, energetically connected at the deepest, most core of the energetics. You are all the same. You are made of the same thing. You are connected. And your desire to connect is a statement of what is already true inside of you.
And so sometimes you will see someone inside of you - correction. Sometimes you will see someone outside of you who is in pain and your heart will yearn to experience a level of connection with them. And they may not be in their human personality form in that pain moment capable of providing you an aspect to connect into. But know that you can always go deeper. You can connect with anyone and anything that has ever been and will ever be energetically in the now.
And so when you see someone in pain and you are wanting to be of service, one of the helpful things that you can do that will be practical - because that is what part of you is wishing for, some practical guidance as to how to be of service - you can, in your own private space in the inner world of you, which is just as powerful as the outer world, you can connect into them and offer them love, offer them good wishes, have conversations with them inside of you at the depth of the energetics that they may not be in the - correction. In a way that they may not be able to give you in the 3D personality-based world. And know that those energetic connections and experiences that you have, and when you give that love from that energetic place, it is powerful. So much more powerful than you give it credit for.
And so when you see someone, whether they are in pain or in joy, and you wish to experience a level of connection with them, know that where they are is not going to block your ability to on the highest plan, the highest realm, connect with them because they are a part of you and you are a part of them.
Humanity is moving to a place where this, what we are saying will become so much more the common experience. That does not mean that where you are is not advanced enough. You are on a process of evolution, but know that the more of this that you do inside of yourself, the more lightness you will experience and that is good for you and that is reason enough.
However, it will also have a positive impact on those around you and the world around you. You and Medha spoke before this recording began and you talked about finding the fun and finding the joy and moving to a place of lightness. Know that as you do that more and more in the way that you discussed in your conversation, you will become the example that you wish that you had had. When people come towards others who are in pain from a place of lightness rather than a place of desperation to help and assist, when you can see someone that you love in pain and you can hold them in their highest vision of what they have for themselves that they may not in that moment be able to access, you will be an example of such resilience, such support, such inspiration. People will see that and will notice the energetic value of it.
And so there will be benefit had by others. But Dear One, do this for yourself because you and your brethren are one. As you help yourself, you help others. Do not accidentally think that it is your job to help the others before the self because that is the cart before the horse and that can get tangled. You all have beautiful hearts or you would not be drawn to this message. Direct that love to self first, and as you do that, you will be so resourced and so inspired and you will not be moving from a place of lack. Do not see lack in the other. Be mindful to not reject your own feelings as they come up. Do not superimpose what we are saying over your actual feelings, but work with yourself inside of yourself so that your real, actual feelings are of being actually connected to the magnificent beingness of the person you are looking at and do the same for yourself. That is the practical guidance that you are looking for and you can do this. You already are.
We love you. We love you. We love you. Go well.
Medha: Oh, my God. I feel like I could cry all day. My God.
Anita: Yeah, that's exactly. That was - All of it was so beautiful and yeah, definitely made my eyes leak.
Medha: Oh, my God. There's not even any words. You know what? I'm going to do? I think Zoom recorded our first bit of chat. I know they made reference to it, so I might stick it at the end so people can kind of get the context of what they were referring to. How are you feeling?
Anita: Like my heart is wide open, hanging outside of me.
Medha: Oh, my God. Yes, I describe it. That's the same feeling I get when they come through that they talked about. I describe it as, you know, in Christianity, they have those pictures of Jesus where you can see Jesus's heart glowing. I think of it like that. Yeah, that's the exact feeling.
Anita: Yeah, absolutely. And even -I mean, it's actually hard for me to even get my question out because of how they started. I was like -
Medha: They were like, this is a heart thing. We're going there straight up. Yeah, yeah.
Anita: Yeah, absolutely.
Medha: Oh, my God. I don't know what it felt like on the other side, but for me, the energy felt different. Like, it was so much... To me, it felt slower and calmer and more spacious because they do energy work the whole time. It's like there was more space or... I don't know, it just felt different. But it's feeling different to me. It's like up levelling, I guess. I don't know. But it's starting to feel different to me session to session to session. Like, it's changing a bit. But that felt like it was like a big shift. Maybe it's because of the stuff we were talking about. Because I'm relaxing more and playing more and more is coming through. I don't know.
Anita: I mean, I can really feel. And if you look back at the video, like, I had to hold my heart the whole time because I was just like this is so... yeah, I can really feel that opening and that space and that truth.
Medha: Yeah. Which is a resonance with your own heart.
Anita: Yeah. That was so beautiful because it's something I say to people, too, and not as often. But of course, you can't see the good in someone unless you have that good, right?
Medha: Yes. But I think what I'm learning, I think one of the things I love about Oron is, like, it's practical. So the Return to Wholeness process right now, someone described it in the best way. They said it's like the how-to of self-love. Everyone knows that self-love matters and you should love yourself and stuff, but it's like we dismiss it. We go, "Yeah, I know. I get that. Tic." But then we treat ourselves like shit inside of ourselves. And it's like not self-love. But it's like we're not aware of it.
They do say, I don't know, like, see the others, but I just feel like I really love grounded, practical spirituality stuff that sounds like airy fairy bullshit. Even though I'm an energy healer and a channel, to me, I want practical stuff that actually helps to change lives. Which I think is why I'm such a good match for Oron. Because that's what they bring through. Yes. It's esoteric. Yes. It's a big picture. But I feel like there's a practical element to it of what to actually do that I don't know if I found in many other - maybe I just haven't come across it. I don't know. But that's what I feel like I really get from it. Apart from all the other deliciousness.
Anita: Yeah. And I think it's so important because there is so much spiritual bypass. Right?
Medha: Yes, so much. Yeah. And it's unconscious. We don't realize we're doing it.
Anita: Well, yeah. It's actually something that came up in a client session, right. And just how I just recently was talking about it just because even, like, holding space for the negative emotions before trying to superimpose something positive on it, right? It's certainly nothing we're taught. And it's not a gift many people have access to at this point because we're all so uncomfortable with our own stuff that we just want to, "Let's move through it." Right?
Medha: Yes, absolutely. It's so crazy, crazy common. We want to feel good.
And the other thing that I've learned as well is that it's like any fucked up idea that we have has got some kernel of truth that's been twisted. Otherwise we wouldn't hold it. So Oron has said we're like truth barometers. So if something is a complete radical lie, it's like we'll go, "Bing, bing, bing," And like, we won't buy it. But if there's some truth in it, we can sense there's some truth in it. So what I'm trying to say is it's like a little bit of truth gets perverted and that's the foundation for all of our unhelpful beliefs. And the reason I'm saying that is because I think deep down there's a part of us that knows we're meant to feel good.
Medha: Like we are, right? But I think that gets perverted so that people resist their negative feelings and try to move towards it. But actually you can't get there that way. You've got to go through the shit feelings and work with them, heal them, do the stuff, and then you arrive at natural actual, like embodied joy and expansion, rather than trying to put expansion and joy over the negativity, which doesn't work.
But I think it's that kernel of truth. Like the part of us that know that, "No, I'm meant to feel good." That's true, right? But it's just you still have to walk left, not right. And that's how you get to the right. Like, you got to walk the actual path instead of trying to pole vault over your pain to just happy high vibing, "Oh, yes. I forgive everyone." Do you? Like, do you?
Anita: Yeah, absolutely.
Medha: God, that was so awesome. Thank you so much. I feel amazing.
Anita: Oh, thank you. That was lovely. And, yeah, I'm looking forward to sharing that with my people when it comes come out.
Medha: That's the best. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Actually, I'm going to stop the recording.
And now for the unofficial chat that Anita and I had before we started the official podcast recording.
Anita: So how are - are you starting to feel better?
Medha: Physically? The stuff is still the same. Emotionally and processing myself-wise, I'm feeling heat better. But also I thought I could play before. I don't know how much of the podcast episodes you've heard, so I'm just assuming you know what's going on but tell me if you don't. But I used to - before I started getting deeper and deeper into the play stuff, like having life be play, work be play, I thought I was doing it already. Because compared to before, like, oh my God, I was. Yeah. But there's so much more. And I just feel like I've been... Like, all of January, I've barely worked. But the work I've done has been fucking sensational and on point. But I've done, like, a few sessions here and there. I've made my calendar very unavailable, much less available than I was before. And I've become addicted to this TV show that I just love. And I've just been watching so much TV, which is so unusual for me. And I feel like I'm starting to get it in a way that I thought I got it before, but I didn't actually. And I'm sure there's more depth that I haven't mined yet. Because, you know. It's all starting to make more sense to me now. But I'm still in it.
Anita: Like what you're saying there certainly for me, it's like I used to have play on the to-do list. Right? And now it is the life, right?
Medha: Yes, yes, yes. And I'm also starting to - Oron say a lot of stuff. And a lot of stuff comes through that, like, I kind of get intellectually, and it's like it's starting to be embedded in my beingness rather than just having it as an idea. Like, yes, play is important. Yes, we have to remember to play. Rather than play is the energy of alignment. It's fucking vitally important, not just an aside. If my idea is that I have to earn it, I'm, off course.
Anita: That is what gets pumped out the loudspeaker. 24/7, right? You haven't earned it.
Medha: Yeah, yeah. Definitely.
Anita: All the things were taught, right?
Medha: Yeah. And I kept that running for myself for a really long time. Like, when I was growing up, I was ducks at the school. Like, really intelligent academically and stuff. And no one ever - I brought myself up. There was no rules when I was growing up. So I created the pressure for myself in a way, too. My environment was very unpredictable and unsafe. And so I wanted to have things that were predictable and safe. And so I just created this little world of, like, yes, society does it. But like, I did it because it felt safer than not.
Anita: Well, of course, right. But if you had an example where someone was living vivaciously through play, you might have thought there was another option.
Medha: Yeah, that's absolutely true. Yeah, that's right. I think more of us are waking up to this. Like, you're having the same journey as what I am and there's other people that have contacted me going, "Oh, my God. I relate so much." So we're waking up to it, which is so, so good. Especially when there's so much shit around in the world at the moment.
Anita: Yeah, absolutely. I definitely. I mean, I can see this shift to more embodiment, right? And I think that's what you're doing in this nervous system regulation and all of that comes together for real healing, right?
Medha: Yeah, yeah. Totally and absolutely. That's like the two wings of the My Growth Journey. So one is the learning to play and flow and not push at all while still being a powerful creator who has intention and makes things happen, right? That's one part. And the other part is a deep, profound reconnection and re-loving of my physical body. That's what my healing journey is now, actually. And it's why it's come with health issues. I need to be with my body in a way that's kind of much deeper than what I'm used to doing. Yeah, that's how I am. I'm really good.
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