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  • Writer's pictureMedha Murtagh

Episode 70 – Gender identity and self-love

Updated: Feb 28, 2023

Oron discuss the higher perspective around challenging gender identities. They talk about the current division we see in the world, and the lack of self-worth most people experience, offering some practical guidance around how to turn that around.

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What is a source perspective on challenging gender identities [02:11]

When I was growing up I felt like I didn't fit in, so much social conditioning that encourages up to have lack of self-worth [09:07]


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Oron: We are here and ready. And before we invite you to ask your first question, we want to share with you some of the experience that Medha was undergoing in terms of connecting into us to allow this information and energy through.

We have spoken about this before, and she still continues to be surprised at the dramatic, for her, differences in what has to happen inside of her to allow us to come through. She always had the idea, before she became a channel in this more formal way, that there was a set of things that she would have to do within herself to allow us through. And that keeps consistently changing for her.

And what that means is that when she sits to allow us to come through, if she doesn't flow with the variety and the change in the energetics, she struggles to bring us through. Whereas if she relaxes into knowing that she has energetic discernment and does whatever she feels called to in that moment, the flow that is available is so delicious and powerful. And that is not just a lesson for channeling, but it is a lesson for life. You are all capable of discerning the energetics of all situations. And your instant connection to the energetics often provides you with information.

And it is when you begin to doubt and wonder and fear and superimpose the idea of "the right way," "the right thing," "the right decision," that you lose your faith and your ability to connect to the knowing that lies within you.

And so we invite you all to play with this idea. What will bring me to expansion here? What feels like the most expansive and lightest and most flowing decision for me here? Allow yourself to let go of the idea of right and wrong, and you will find so many paths that are open to you that will take you to magical, exciting, amazing destinations that you cannot see when you have the blinkers of right and wrong.

Do you have any questions?

Esther: Always. Yes. A subject that is close to my heart is the subject of gender. And I did a session where I tried to tune in and channel myself on the purpose, I suppose, of a soul coming in with a challenging experience when it comes to gender. What is a source perspective on that?

Oron: As you look around your planet now - particularly now in this time - you are able to see, sense and perceive so much division. There is so much division that is present when you look externally. But what you'll also find is there is a lot of internal division also for each of you as individuals. And as you each have that within yourself, the collective cannot but be a mirror of that. There is an intensity around division at present. My beliefs are more valid than your beliefs. What I think is more important and right than what you think. I'm right and you are wrong.

This is evidenced everywhere at present, and there is a big growth phase, that evolutionary period, that humanity is entering into. Now you have been building up to this for a long time, but the reason that there is so much division is because underlying it is a level of fear. The feeling that "I am right and you are wrong" only comes from a place of lack and fear and scarcity and defending of self against other.

The truth is that there is more than just gender that lies on a spectrum. Most experiences lie upon a spectrum. And it is so divinely beautiful that you are each connected to your own experience in such a profound way. But the unintended consequence of that, or the thing that you need to deal with if you want to move towards harmony, is the fact that it sometimes stops you from being able to connect into what may be the possible experiences of others.

And so there is some confusion around the idea of "Is there an objective truth or is all truth subjective?" And the truth is, that, too, lies on the spectrum. But humanity and - particularly your mind - like to have the idea of right and wrong because it feels safer, because if you know what right is and if you know what wrong is, you will not go wrong. And then things will go well for you. And as you clear up this fear of other and this divisive connection to your external word as well as this divisive connection to your internal world that most of you have, because the truth is that most of you fight yourself always.

Most of you have parts and areas of yourself that you deem bad and you try and cut out of yourself in order to expand. But that is not possible. And so that is also in the outer world as well as in the inner world. But your power does not lie in attempting to change your society by force. Your power also does not lie in attempting to change your inner experience by force, because force is not actually power.

And so the people who have come forward and are having what you called a difficult experience when it comes to gender are some of the brave and powerful souls who are here to bust open the idea of division, the idea of right and wrong, the idea of "it must be this way or that way." There are many of you here that are doing the same thing, not just in the realm of gender, but in many other areas of life. And those that are more fearful of other because at the core of them lies a lack of safety and a need to fight for self and defend against. We'll fight and defend against the notion of other being more accepted in your wider society. And there is no problem here. You are all playing different roles in the process of evolution.

Medha has discussed before how she was brought up in an environment where she had an abusive alcoholic mother who told her things like she was the worst thing that ever happened and she wished she'd never been born. And so Medha for the longest period of time had a really profound feeling of lack of self worth because she had the feeling that if your own mother, who is supposed to love you more than anyone, cannot love her, then she must be unlovable.

As she moved through her process of life, she realized that people who had loving and adoring parents also had self confidence issues and that freed her to know that because of her previous experience, she wasn't bound to that idea. Because that experience was being had by others who hadn't had her experience.

And so her experience in the moment of feeling unlovable was not the direct and only consequence of what she had lived. There is a process that she underwent of reclaiming her sense of self worth that she would not have done if she didn't lack the connection to her self worth initially.

And so what she has said herself and his integrity energetically within her is that she now knows her worth to a degree that she never could have if she hadn't had to reclaim it consciously.

And so humanity is going through that process now of looking really deep into their relationships with personal power and collective power and the acceptance, the acceptance rather than division and the fighting against other that is so evident on your planet.

Now this will evolve, but that does not mean that where you are is wrong. Where you are is part of the process of getting you to where you're going. And in the same way that Medha's process of reclaiming her self worth now makes her someone that will not feel unworthy no matter what someone is saying to her, because she has reclaimed it consciously, as society as you as individuals do the same process of accepting all of the spectrum of you inside of you and therefore having the ability of accepting your brethren no matter where they are in the moment and knowing that - We will say it a different way.

Rather than superimposing the idea of hurt people hurt people over lack of understanding - which is what some of you are attempting to do now. As you do the process of healing the aspects of yourself and really honestly coming into inner harmony and adoring the parts of you, even the parts of you that feel jealous and resentful, adoring them, healing them, integrating them, supporting them, bringing into the whole. As you learn to do that for yourself, you will be able to do that for your external society. And that is the process that you are currently undergoing, and it is not wrong. It is evolution and it is a beautiful, beautiful thing.

And the more you find yourself fighting against, the more you will be contributing to the division in your planet, in your collective and in your personal experience of self. It's a beautiful thing.

Esther: Yeah. It's interesting because when I hear stories, the more stories I hear and share from folks who are having a gender nonconforming experience, as it were, the more I recognize some of their struggles in myself. But obviously not in the same way. Like not in a way that I have gender dysphoria or have questioned the body I was born into. But from a perspective of feeling like I didn't belong or fit in anywhere when I was younger, feeling like the lack of self worth that you speak of that Medha struggled with it. Is something I have been becoming more aware of recently, just how much of societal conditioning has contributed, I suppose - without blaming, but more like understanding - contributing to a lack of self-worth and feeling like we're not enough. There is so much of that going on, I think, generally in the world.

Oron: There is. And we will say something that we have said before, and it bears repeating over and over and over again. When you come as little babies onto your planet, you are so deeply connected to your self worth, and it is over time where you learn that when you do particular behaviors, you are given smiles and what looks like love, and when you do particular behaviors, you are given frowns and what looks like the withdrawing of love. When that happens the first few hundred times you are unfazed by it because you remain so connected to your sense of self worth.

But over time what tends to happen is you start to sacrifice the feeling of the connection without self worth so that you start to play the game and do the dance so that you get the smiles that feel like love. And the more disconnected you become from yourself, the more you are willing to compromise important aspects of yourself in order to do the dance and be given from outside of you, the feeling that you are worthy and the feeling that you are loved. Again, society, humanity is going through a process of evolution. So we are not telling you this because we are deeming it wrong, but that is currently what is the most regular experience of humanity on your planet at present.

There are obviously exceptions to this, but as you start to become more aware of it, the connection that you feel to the logic and the reason will help your mind to be able to soften into relaxing that need for external validation that is currently felt by most of you. But you cannot expect yourself to stop demanding or wanting or seeking or searching or compromising for the sake of external validation without giving yourself that validation on the internal plane. Once you start to validate yourself internally, once you start to encourage yourself internally, once you start becoming your own best supporter and encourager within yourself, that is when you will start to be able to let go of the need for external validation.

Some of you attempt to get rid of that need and give yourself nothing to hold onto instead. That is not self love. You want to feel safe, you want to feel worthy. And the reason you want this is because deep down there's a part of you that knows that it's your natural state. And so support yourself. Do not try to beat yourself into expansion. It is something that so many of you do without realizing that it is what you are doing. The path to the expanded version, the big impact, the relaxed living that feels joyful and like you are living life on purpose, the path to that is through self love. And when you have that and when you are not fighting against yourself and resisting yourself and you're not fighting against or resisting the external world, your inspiration to divine action is going to be so palpable that you will not even question. Your decision making process will be just one of following the flow. And the ability to create incredible results will become so much more evident to you.

But don't demand yourself to go from where you are to where you wish to be without first building the inner scaffolding of self love and self support, because that is what will allow you to let go of the old and familiar. Because you may or may not realize that the familiar feels safe to you and you will choose safety over the having of the things that you imagine that you want if that is the choice that's available to you. So make yourself feel safe inside of yourself by loving and adoring every part of you.

Right now, some of you are attempting to punish or cut away or remove aspects of yourself in order to be your best self. But all that does is make you feel unloved and unwanted and unsafe because the message that you give to any part of you is the message that you give to all of you. This is deep, profound, important work, and as each of you do more and more of that, you will start to see more of that in your society. That is where humanity is headed. That is where you are headed. But the path is through self love. The path is through self love.

So we remind you again, ask yourself the question because the inner knowing lies within you. How do I move more to expansion in this situation? What could I do in this moment to be more self loving? And we want to clarify something. Some of you think that doing acts of self care, like having a massage or walking on the beach equals selflove and you consider your selflove done, ticked, when you do those activities. Although they can be helpful and nourishing and wonderful and we are not saying anything against them, we want to be really clear. Your self-love is in the experience of how you relate to yourself, how you talk to yourself, how you encourage yourself, what your inner space is inside of you. And you cannot reject only some aspects of you. You will always be rejecting the whole.

And so know that as each of you comes into harmony within the self, you will be accepting the spectrum and all of the places upon which you lie. And that is why the universe outside of you is mirroring what is going on inside of you, and the less fighting against, the more moving towards, the more supportive, the more expansion you can find inside of yourself, the more of that you'll be creating on your planet. And that will start to build and build and build. And that is a beautiful thing. We love you. We love you. We love you. Go. Well.

Esther: Welcome back.

Medha: Thank you. That felt so beautiful in my heart.

Esther: Yay!

Medha: It's funny. I remember they talked about the connecting at the start. I was like, "Oh, hang on. What the fuck? So what levers do I pull now? What happens?" It's like starting fresh every time. It's been changing so much between sessions. They're right. If I get stressed about it, like, if I go, "Oh, hang on. I used to do it like this," and get attached to that old mode, it blocks the flow and it takes - like, this took longer for me to connect than normal because I had to go through.

Esther: Yeah, because I just watched the session we had last time and then the one we had before which was in February. So it's interesting how it seems different every time.

Medha: It does to you as well?

Esther: Yeah.

Medha: Wow. Because I'm really curious, because even when I watch it back, I think I watch it through the filter of having experienced it, so I can't really tell if it's, like, different to outside or inside. Yeah.

Esther: Well, sometimes I tend to have my eyes closed when I talk to Oron immediately. But then this time I had them open. But also I was kind of checking in as well because I noticed it was taking a bit longer. I was peeking, like, "What's going on?"

Medha: Yeah. Has any Internet dropped out? Like, are we still here? Yeah. It took ages for me. Yeah.

Esther: Nothing wrong with that.

Medha: No, it was interesting. And what's funny is when I was connecting, I knew they were going to talk about it. Like, I could feel that they were going to talk about it. And so then I had to go like, "That's okay. They can talk about it. It's fine. I'll just take my time. It doesn't matter. There's no rush."

Esther: Yeah. I was thinking for ages. Like, what am I going to talk about? Part of me is a bit like, let's just see it's no big deal. And another part of me was like, "What are we going to talk about, though? Because this is a podcast episode. This is important." I was like, "Oh, what about this subject? What about that subject?" And then it's just in the last half hour before we got on it's going in the direction of gender. And I was rewatching, like, a channel that I did about the subject myself. So there was some resonance with that. There's so much more to it. And I feel like I really have a strong desire to find good words for it.

Medha: Oh, that's beautiful. Well, we always get the podcast episodes transcribed, so you can have the written words of this. They're just on the website always, like, for people who have got hearing issues or whatever. People might prefer to consume it in the written form. The other episodes, the transcripts will be there so if you want to have the written words.

Esther: That's great. Yeah. And I link to it from my website anyway. So I've got all the episodes embedded. So yeah. I feel, not greedy, but I was like, "This is my third! It's my third!"

Medha: I'm really intuitive and who I invite. So sometimes I put out - we've got the group on Facebook, and sometimes I go, "Does anyone want to?" I'm often surprised by how few people want to, but then I forget I'm not a very private person. I've said my diaries on here and stuff before. But some people are. So in my head, I'd be like, "Why wouldn't everyone want to do it?" But of course, everyone doesn't want to do it.

Esther: That's right. I'll be on every month if you ask me. Do you know what I mean?

Medha: Yeah. And I would be the same. I would be the same, yeah. But sometimes we were chatting about something else, and it just popped in my head, "Does she want to do a podcast episode? Yes, she does. Perfect." Sometimes I randomly ask specific people. And I've got no dramas about having been on it a few times. If I was flooded - People, if you're watching, I always do want - volunteer yourselves. Because I'm not flooded with people. Sometimes I'm like, "Oh, who can I get for next week?"

And so sometimes I get inspired to do episodes by myself, but that's more rare because I love the process of people asking questions I wouldn't ask. I think that's really cool. I wouldn't ask about gender, but that whole thing about division is fascinating because I'm seeing it playing out, like, around the vaccine, like, everywhere.

Esther: In everything. It's like people are coming off the fence. And it's almost like taking - it's not even about taking sides. It's just they're standing for something, like what they believe in, right?

Oron: Yeah.

Esther: And then it's just more clear. I think people have been on the fence. And, like, when someone's on the fence, you just don't know where they stand, really.

Medha: Yeah.

Esther: But once they get off the fence, you're like, "Oh, that's where you stand." And then you can either be like, "Oh, I'm with you," or like, "Oh, hang on a minute. That's not what I was expecting. I'm not with you at all."

Medha: Yeah. But what's funny about it is I've seen this before, working with clients. It feels like this: so there's like, a pendulum, right? And so when you've got, like, an unhealthy behavior or something, that's not optimal, it's like the pendulum stuck up here. And then before it corrects, it's like we go all the way over to the other side of the pendulum, and then it has to find balance at some point. So I feel like, with what you're talking about, yeah, people might be off the fence, but they've got fucking clubs in their hands. You know what I mean? They're like, it's so raw and intense, and "I'm right, you're wrong." And it's just so full on.

Esther: And the problem is as well when you get off the fence on either side, and if you're willing to talk to the other side rather than hold a club and want to go in fighting, then it's almost like you're in a position where it's like a no win situation, because then it's like, your own side is like, "How dare you?" And the opposite side is like... I don't know. It's just like, coming off the fence is not everything. It's not all there is to it.

Medha: Yeah, that's true. But also there is space for good conversations. Like, I've had a couple of really some really good conversations around it. And I haven't actually said what my stance is on the vaccination. I'm vaccinated. And lots of people expect me to not be. Lots of people think that - people would be shocked that I'm vaccinated. But I am. And that process for me was so intuitive. For ages, I thought I wasn't going to be vaccinated because I would tune in and close my eyes and go, "Am I getting the vaccine?" And I'll be like, "Does the vaccine feel good to me?" And I was like, "No." For ages, I'm like, okay.

And then all of a sudden I tuned in and it was a yes. And I didn't act straight away. I was like, oh, really? Is this going to hold? Because it was so consistent for ages. But what I like about that is that I've learnt to check instead of just, "Well, it was such a strong no. Obviously, it's a no." But there's room for things to change. Yeah.

So I can't tell you why. I had no interest in researching the vaccine at all. I was clear enough that it was a yes for me. And so then I got it.

Esther: There was no resistance to it because you had a really clear - you had no like... Not really any opinion about it, maybe. You were just like, "Let's tune in." It's like, "Oh, this is a surprise." So it's like, yeah, all right.

Medha: Yeah. My guidance surprises me all the time. I'm often guided now. But that took training and safety. Like that feeling of starting to trust myself in small amounts, which means that now I can trust myself in large amounts about scary stuff. There's no question. Even if I'm getting a yes, and you present me with all of this evidence of why that's a dumb decision, I'm going to still go with my yes. And same as it was a no.

Esther: Then it's a real yes and you know it. So it doesn't come from being swayed or like a fear based. It was a real strength based. Like a knowing based. Yeah.

Medha: Anyway. Divisions internally and externally and coming to harmony.

Esther: Yeah. Totally. Yeah. Beautiful. Well, thank you.

Medha: I love it. Thank you. If I don't get inundated people, if you're interested, if I don't get inundated with people coming to the podcast, I might invite you again soon.

Esther: Oh, please. Do I'll always have something to ask to talk about?

Medha: I'll keep that in mind. That's awesome. Thank you. Thank you so much. Love it.

Esther: Thank you. Take care.

Medha: Bye.

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