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Finding freedom in relationships can be complicated. Security and connection don’t need to limit freedom, but the way we run relationships, they often do. In this episode, Oron chat with Mel about relationships, how to free yourself from pressure and expectations and why trying to force something into being is ineffective and what to do instead.
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Transcript
Oron: We are here and looking forward to this exchange. Let’s begin.
Mel: So my question is, if people come in and out of your life for a reason because they’re here to teach you something and you learn from them, how do you know, definitively, when a relationship has served its higher purpose for you and it is time to let it go.
Oron: The first thing we would say to that is that there is no definitive in that a door is closed and it is closed for evermore. We would encourage you to get in touch with your deep knowing and always stay open to possibility so that at some point something may feel as though it is destined to be over – and it may feel as though it is destined to be over forever – but it is entirely possible for in the next moment when the energies have realigned themselves in a different configuration for something to be possible that was not possible before. We would never advise you to make decisions that are for evermore. We would invite you to stay connected to the flow of what your guidance is telling you and consistently adjust and adjust and adjust. It is when you create rigid rules inside of your mind and then try to live by them that you narrow your connection to the divinity that is within you, that sees with a higher perspective than you ever can. But you do not need to know things definitively. You need to know them in terms of, “This feels right to me for now,” and we would encourage you to work with that being enough.
Mel: So that makes sense that relationships might come back into your life in and out. But in terms –
Oron: There is a desire within humanity, within humans in particular, to kind of know the future, to get insurances, to feel assured that they know what is going to be coming into their future. But no such assurance can ever be provided. We understand that your mind and parts of you feel safer when you feel you understand what is coming to you in the future. But that is only ever an illusion because you never really, truly know – even though you are deep down the creators of your own lives – you do not create by force and you do not create by rigid rules. You create by influence and you create by allowing. So there is no closing the doors forevermore. Of anything. There is an allowing of what feels right to you in order to create the most flowing life for you. If you wish, you can stay in a place where you prefer to know what the future brings you. But we will remind you that the only way to know what the future brings you is to try to control it and therefore limit possibilities for yourself. So we encourage you to find safety within yourself, but within the unknown that is your life. Because the reality is the future is not yet known. You can sense the energetics of what may come to you, but you cannot know definitively without blocking off possibility, potential, energy, freedom and growth. We remind you once again of what we said just moments ago: being comfortable, being familiar, being okay, being guided by “this is what feels right to me right now” is what allows you to adjust to the energetics as they move and shift and change. Sometimes you need to feel like something is finished and that something is enough so that you can create possibilities and move towards something else. But again, we remind you that the most possibility is allowed by maintaining openness of doors rather than the closing or the slamming of them. You do sometimes need to go, “Enough,” and that is then a movement towards possibility. But if you limit the number of possibilities that are available to you, you will not be experiencing the entirety of the freedom spectrum that is available to you as the creator that you are.
Mel: You said allowing and influence are the steps that are needed to take in that relationship. I understand allowing. Can you talk –
Oron: We do not mean that it is specific only to that relationship. We mean that to be the relationship that is ideal for you to have with life. That is actually how you create: with influence and with allowing. You do not create anything by force. Although the way you look at society and the way you live your life can sometimes create the illusion that you’re creating by force. “Work hard enough and you will achieve your dreams”. That works only if you also have a level of energetic allowing and influence for those things to come into your experience. There are many people who are working very hard at creating their dreams, but they are not energetically allowing or influencing the environment around them. They are trying to force it into place and they do not live their dreams. And they remain consistently frustrated because the thing they want is not coming. So we remind you with everything, not just with the relationship of which you are speaking – with everything – you do not force creation, but you create via allowing and via influence and by doing the inner work. It is very – correction. The outer world is very alluring and there is no problem with that, it is designed to be so. But the inner world is also very alluring. And the trick to creation is to turn inward and create within your being the thing that it is you want from the outside. You cannot demand that the universe give you something that you are not willing to give yourself. And that applies for relationship and that applies for money and that applies for jobs and that applies for health and that applies to all of the things. If you want love, you give yourself love. If you want security, you give yourself security. If you want safety and intimacy, give yourself the space of safety and intimacy within. Reassure all the parts of you, love all the parts of you and do not reject them. Because as you reject yourself, you reject others and as you reject others, they reject you. And it is a cycle of rejection that many humans are living in that is not necessary. And you are evolving to a place where that is not necessary in a much deeper way. There is no insurance policy in life. There is no guarantee that you are doing the right thing. But because there actually is no right thing. There is a more energetically aligned thing. There is something that moves you with more ease towards what you want, but there is no right and there is no wrong. And when you take steps that take you in what looks like the opposite direction, they are actually uncovering things that are standing in the way of you achieving what you want. There is no wrong. You cannot get this wrong. You cannot get anything wrong. We also remind you that relationships are never-ending. You will always stay connected to the people that have touched you inwardly. They will always be with you and you will always be with them. They do not end. Not even with divorce, not even with death. You can choose to disconnect from the knowing and the feeling of that connection, but know that deep down they never end.
Mel: The role of surrender and letting go of control in a action oriented world where we are required to fulfill many roles and functions, please clarify the role of surrender and letting go when we are yet required to do so much.
Oron: We ask you a question in return. What makes you think that you are required to do so much? We will answer for you. You are not slaves, you are not beholden to anybody. You have the power that can create a universe. You are the universe. Nothing makes you do anything. But you make yourself feel as though you are being made. Nothing is pushed on you under any circumstances. Everything is attracted to you. And everything is a choice made by you. It is just that that happens below the level of your conscious awareness often. But as you remind yourself that you are the powerful one. Reclaim your power from the inside. Not in a way that attempts to dominate the others because you feel that they have dominated you. There is no winning in the cycle of dominance. But as you reclaim your own power and your own boundaries and your own ability to choose for yourself based on what feels good and what gives you joy, you will free yourself. And in so doing, you will free those around you. You are bound by them, they are bound by you and you are all bound together. But that is not what is necessary. It is no longer required and it is time for you to reclaim your freedom. And even if someone could give you your freedom, if they could attempt to free you completely, that will achieve nothing if you don’t ultimately free yourself. You are not a slave. You are the creator. And if you feel as though you are bound to do things, it is only because you are binding yourself to do things. Free them of the responsibility that you are giving them for the creation of your life. They are not responsible. They are responsible for creating their own, but they are not responsible for creating yours, even though it may appear otherwise. Free yourself. You’re the only person you can. And that applies to you and anyone who is coming across this material. You’re all free. But you live as though you are not. And if you wish to change that, you can. Exposing yourselves to these ideas percolating in them and contemplating the fact that you can be freer is the first step. Addressing the parts of you that have not been getting their needs met is the second step. Because you sacrifice those parts of yourself currently so that other people will meet those needs for you and then you are bound. If you want to reclaim your freedom accept yourself. Love yourself, nurture yourself so that you are not willing to sacrifice parts of yourself for the validation that you want from the external world. The external world can never give you enough validation to fill the hole that is created when you reject yourself continuously. We want to remind you that there is nothing wrong here. We want to remind you that in any circumstance that you are living, things are being brought to your attention that require your attention, and that is for your good and your benefit. And you can either struggle and suffer through it or you can ride the wave by relaxing into the knowing that there is wisdom here and that you have got the ability to receive it, to hear it and to act on it if you wish. You are free, you are powerful. Anything else that you experience is an illusion. You are not dependent on anything or anyone. You are the universe and you provide for yourself. We love you, we love you, love you. Go well.
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