Episode 62 – What's the relationship between creation, control and allowing
Updated: Feb 28
In this episode, Oron chat with Harris about remembering earlier, easier experiences and accidentally using them to resist the now. Oron talks about the tendency we often have of striving so hard to create our next chapter that we sacrifice our joy in the now. And they offer a surprising way to help us soothe the conflict we’re seeing in our outer worlds, as well as our inner worlds.
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I remember easier lives [00:00:13] I strive for the next chapter and sacrifice joy in the now [00:05:52] Openness and play as ways to soothe conflict and difference [00:10:17]
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Oron: We are here and ready. Let's play.
Harris: I've been making a lot of progress in my life recently. I went through a breakdown almost two years ago and I've done lots of healing and stuff from that and sort of moving forward and unsticking myself. But I still frequently - and this is not a new feeling, this is something I felt many times before. It's really starting to come up. And basically for a long time I've been very aware that this is my first trip around the sun doing this human thing, and I have very strong emotional memories of what life was like elsewhere before I came here.
And I still have moments now where - I wouldn't say it's anything to do with depression, although some people might categorize it that way - but it feels a lot like I'm distracted by what I'm doing with thoughts of, "It wasn't like this before," and I tease myself and say, "You signed up for this. You decided to come here, so make the best of it. Learn what you've come here to learn."
But this thought often pops up for me with this whole "are we really here to do this," and this sort of comparison of, "things weren't this difficult before. We didn't have to deal with this before." And I think I'm just finding it challenging to kind of be present and be in the moment and kind of like fully commit to this human experience when I remember so clearly a life or the lives that I had before that were different and more comfortable and enjoyable.
Oron: We like this question. It opens many doors and we will walk through them together. The first thing that we would like to say is the other experiences that you've had in your consciousness are not just limited to ones that you would consider better than this one. There are also some that you would consider worse than this one. There is a breadth of experience that is available in the universe that you are all able to experience, and not just by experiencing them in terms of different lives in different places.
There is nothing that you have experienced in the other realms that is not available to you here. But there is a misunderstanding in the thinking that the denser vibration doesn't allow it because you are infinite. You are all of those things, and there is no before and after. It is all also simultaneously. And so -correction. It is also all experienced simultaneously, although you conceive of it as being linear.
And so we will playfully encourage you to not put heaviness around the idea that you must commit to being human. Because you don't really have to convince of yourself of the fact that you are human because it is already your experience. But what if - we will begin somewhere else.
If you are an expert tennis player. If you are the world's best tennis player, playing with someone who has only just begun to play the game is not as challenging, and it's not as exciting, and it doesn't push you to grow in the same way that playing someone who has an equal level of ability feels. It feels delightful. It feels expansive, it feels challenging. And so rather than thinking of the earthly experience as being denser and more difficult, play with bringing the experiences that you know are possible in your consciousness into the physical world. Think of it as a playful game that you are learning to build your skill set in rather than something that you must commit to with a level of heaviness. Because there is no such thing.
You are not here to necessarily learn lessons. But you are here to have experiences of ranges of variety that are available to you, but they do not just happen at you. You consciously create them. And so you are coming into this terrain into this plane of existence to practice playing with experiencing everything that you have before and more. The limitation that you perceive feels real to you because it is very, very believed by you. It is experienced by you because of the belief structure rather than you experience it and then create the belief.
There is more power in this that you have than what you are currently conscious of. And we will speak to what you called your breakdown. There was a breakdown of some fundamental energetics that you had put in place for things like safety and security that were no longer serving you as you know. And so as you let go of that, it was almost feeling like a free fall. And there is freedom in a free fall, but there is also some levels of fear. And so as you start to bring the expansiveness that you know is available to your consciousness and engage that in the physical plane, you will be merging, you will be bringing wholeness to the experience from all of the levels and all of the layers and all of the energetics that are available to you. And that is a wonderful, delicious feeling when you play with it and relax into it and allow it to expand rather than trying to make it different.
Harris: Yeah, I like that. I wonder if part of the issue is that there's an imbalance between really striving towards the next chapter at the expense of joy and creativity.
Oron: That is one of the most predominant patterns on your planet. There is a twisted version of the truth that is conceived by many people, although they do not understand this. The truth is that you do create your experience and you do bring it forward. But that gets interpreted by many of you as a heavy responsibility and you must sacrifice now in order to create in the future. But sacrificing now is a heavy energy and you cannot create the expansive vision that you are looking for by contracting your own energy. That is just not possible. And so relax into the knowing that yes, you do create your reality. But rather than create it, why not consider it allowing?
If you change the words, if you change the energetics behind the intention to opening to receiving, to allowing and receiving the inspiration and then acting from beingness and acting from openness rather than a level of force to try and manufacture something, you don't need to manufacture anything. You align, you act, you flow, you receive. That's the process. And so playfully change the wording and therefore the energetics of how you conceive of it so that you reclaiming your power does not feel like you are trying to dominate either yourself or the universe.
There are many of you - many open hearted, generous, caring people - who have trouble with what you call claiming your power. The reason that happens is because you've become habituated to expecting power to be dominance and you are sick of dominance. You don't want to be dominated by anyone and you don't want to see your brethren dominated either. And so because power and domination become tied together on a subconscious level, on an energetic level for you, you subconsciously reject your power. But power, real true, honest power in alignment and integrity is never dominance.
It can be influence, but it is never dominance. So as you play around with clearing that up in yourself and you become the powerful allowing creator that you are here to be, that stuff will drop away and you will relax into the power of influence, the power of flow, the power of receptivity, the power of alignment, the power of inspiration. And it does not need to be heavy. Because if your journey towards it feels heavy, the lightness that you're seeking will not be the core of the experience that you create. It cannot be.
Harris: I feel like another thing that's coming up for me is that because - I refer to this breakdown, but really like you were saying before, it was more of a dismantling so that there could be new and better. I feel like the version of me before actually got massively into flow in a big way. All these things manifested for me, these things that an earlier version of me would have thought was like unreachable, and I started to really believe so strongly in myself and also to enjoy the process.
And recently I've started to get back into that, but it feels like I'm operating a different system now. And so I think I try to be mindful not to really invite frustration in because I know that that's not particularly helpful. But when I have such clear memories of only a matter of handful of years ago, I could create and manifest and allow so easily to now on what feels like an inordinately long time being stuck in this kind of spiritual and emotional winter. There's a bit of a frustration.
And again, I think there's some comparing going on because I remember that earlier version of myself, and I don't want to be that earlier version because I really value the progress and the growth that I've made. But it's definitely different now, and I sometimes feel quite separated from that ability to create my own experience, and I can't quite work out what I'm doing differently that's making it more difficult.
Oron: We would counsel you to playfully look at it like this. Every single version of you is valuable. Every single version of you is powerful. Every single version of you has got wisdom and has got gifts. So as you conceive of one version as better than the other, you deny yourself access to the gifts of that version. And so the dismantling that you went through wasn't because the other was bad or not good. It was because you were expanding to more and you cannot expand to more without the credit of the parts that were previously. And so honor them all. Honor them all.
There is an inner resistance that is happening at present. And we will say this in a more exaggerated form in order to make the point than what is true for you. But when you say, "I try not to invite frustration in," there is a difference between trying not to invite frustration in and resisting frustration. And sometimes what we find is that when humans find a level of flow and some friction comes up within them - for example, in the form of frustration - they try to look away from the frustration, look away from the friction that has arisen in order to build the feeling of the good that they were already experiencing.
And we understand the tendency to do that. And the fact that you do it is not a problem. But if you want your growth and your manifestation, powerful potential to be manifesting your world, then allowing yourself to turn with love, with openness, to the friction that you encounter within you so that you can soothe it, so that you can discover what is going on for you. You will find that when you feel the frustration arising, the parts of you that adore you and wish for you to have everything that you want are showing up.
There may be something that you are not yet considering. There may be something that you could shift an understanding of. There may be some other way for you to expand into flow. In fact, there must be, otherwise that friction would not be felt.
And so we would encourage you to not say, "Come frustration. Let's hold a party and stay forevermore. Live with me forever." But when frustration knocks on your door, invite it in, give it a cup of tea. Ask it what is going on for it? Why is it there? What does it want for you? What is in the way of that? What does it want to communicate to you? And you will find that as you embrace and accept all of the aspects of you and all of the experiences of you inside of you, and you stop deeming some of them good and some of them bad, the flow that you know is possible will become manifest and real rather than a memory or a theory or a desire for you.
Harris: Thank you.
Oron: We wish to end with one final message - and we have said it before and we will say it again. There is a playfulness that your children have that is such a guide to alignment for those of you that are willing to see it. And we want to remind you that none of you have lost that ability to be playfulness. But when you get serious and have goals and think you have a mission and need to expand, you can disconnect from the playfulness. But that light, playful, joyous energy that is the guiding light to your mission because your mission's outcome, your purpose for being, your desirable experience on this planet is that. It's a light, expansive, playful energy.
You put so many burdens upon yourself in order to try to expand and in order to try to become lighter and to lift your vibration. That cannot work. It cannot work. But we say that because it cannot work in terms of the desire that you wish. We are saying it is ineffective. We are not saying that it is wrong. Because everything that you discover in yourself, that you could be doing differently, that you could be doing in a way that is more efficient, that you could be doing in a way that takes you more effortlessly to the things that you wish, they are valuable things to see. They are actually the pathway to the things that you want.
And so currently, most of you, when you discover that you're doing something in an efficient way, you come down on yourself or you judge as bad or wrong because you think that it is keeping you from the thing that you want. We would encourage a different view. See those things as the doorway because they are showing you what is standing in the way of the thing that you wish. Do not blame them. Do not criticize them when what they are actually doing is saying, "Hey, you might want to look at this if you want to get over there."
And so as you learn to relax into the acceptance of all of the versions of you, all of the aspects of you, all of the experience of you, you will be creating the inner harmony that you wish to see in your outside divided world. So many of you walk around with a feeling that parts of you are good and parts of you are bad and then you externalize it in the outside world and see some of your brethren as either good or bad.
There is an expansion into diversity that is happening. It is being fought against, obviously, because there is a level of lack of safety that it can trigger in some people. But we want you to understand that that outside thing that so many of you, including Medha, have got strong feelings around, is a reflection of the inside thing that is happening for most of you. Every single part of you is valuable. Every single part of you has wisdom. Every single part of you has gold. And as you learn to see that it's not just the energies and emotions that feel lighter and easier that have value, but is the heavier ones that are showing you what needs love, what needs healing, what needs integration that are also working towards your expansion.
As you start to see them as equal, as you start to treat them equally, as you start to respect them all, you will feel respected. You will feel accepted. You will feel whole. And you will float through on the supportive energies of the universe, guiding you to everything that you want. Nothing is an impediment when it is in the inner world. You can play with it. You can expand it and you can heed its message because that's all it's ever giving you. It is showing a spotlight on what it would behoove you to play with, to focus on, to expand and to heal in order to create everything that you want.
The universe supports you by prompting situations that will allow you to see what needs your love inside of you. And once you've done that, it's much easier to give that same love to the parts of you that are outside of you in the form of your brethren. We love you. We love you. We love you. Go well.
Medha: I think I'm going to cry. So much love in that. How are you feeling?
Harris: Yeah. Good. Thank you. Yeah. It was good. I've just been hung up on that idea for so long, and I think it's just given me a very different perspective.
Medha: Yay! That makes me so happy. We call the podcast A Clear Perspective.
Harris: Yeah. Appropriate.
Medha: There's just so much love for us from them. It's just amazing. And we get so fucked up. Like with our goals and our visions and our missions and all that stuff. It's like we turn ourselves inside out without realizing it. And it can be so much easier than what we make it on ourselves. I've talked about it before. Like, for me, I used to just try and beat myself up so I'd remember to be better next time. And it's like, the most contractive, horrible energy. And I'm so sensitive. When people are mean to me, I really feel it. Like when I'm mean to me - I'd become numb to it because it was so regular, and I had no concept of the impact it was having on me until I started to shift it and treat myself lovingly and with kindness.
And so now it's rare for me to catch myself coming down on myself. And I feel so different. Like I feel like what I wanted to feel like when I was trying to beat myself up. But I would never have gotten there. Like, that route doesn't work. But it's like, you can't really know that until you've felt it, I guess.
Harris: Yeah, definitely. And it's interesting because I've been sort of making those commitments to be nice to myself for a really long time. And obviously over time you pick up more and you learn something and you're like, "Oh, I do that." And so it's a long term chipping away type thing.
Harris: And it's interesting because that's been a real commitment of mine to myself. Like, since I was 18. I decided I was not going to be horrible about myself anymore and obviously it didn't happen overnight and I'm still learning things all the time.
But in me, feeling that nonjudgment is a really important value of mine. I find that I don't really say it about other people very much. And the second that other people start to say it about anything, it winds me up. And I'm similarly very sensitive. And I'm like, "Oh, it's judgement. We don't need to do that."
Medha: Yeah. It's a funny one, though, because I found that for me as well and people that I work with as well. Like deciding to not be judgmental. It's like a really clear good value, right? But often what happens is first we be judgmental and then we catch ourselves being and then we try and not be judgmental. So it can be like a repressing thing sometimes too. I'm not saying that's what you're doing, but I think it can be.
Harris: Yeah, it can be.
Medha: I've realized in hindsight, after working with energy for like 15 years, that I've been kind of discovering a system called the Return to Wholeness Process. And with Oron now I really clearly understand it. So I'm in the process of creating a free thing now that will be available to people for the practicalities of how to be kind and loving to ourselves. It's literally - they keep talking about the parts, right? That's what's come up in the Return to Wholeness Process. Like, you literally just sit and chat with the parts of yourself and the moment you're open to them, they're open to you.
It's like this amazing, magical thing. And you literally just go, "Hey," - the same as what we would with a friend. "Hey, what's going on with you? What happened there?" And they go, "Oh, I felt -" and they talk to you. And you can go, "Well, okay. But what about this? What do you need?" And then you literally just support yourself in this beautiful, amazing, profound way. And I think that's what, in hindsight, I can see changed how I interact with myself in my life.
I'm a great friend. If someone's really upset, I'm like, I'm there and I'll listen and I'll support. But I would never do that for myself. I would just come down hard on myself. "Get over it. Come on." So weird.
Harris: Yeah. I still have moments like that, especially like, if I'm feeling a bit hormonal or, like, I've had a bad night's sleep. And I have one bad night's sleep, and then the rest of the day, I'm like, "You're going to be grumpy, and that's fine." Or if I need to cry because I'm quite a crier. And sometimes when it's coming, I'm like, "Oh, fuck's sake." And then I just make peace with it. And I'm like, "It'll be fine."
I'm really intentionally, like, reparenting myself as well when having these feelings. I'm like, "Okay, we're going to let this happen. There's no time limit. You can take as long as you want," but, yeah, I have these moments, though, where I'm, like, "Bloody hell. I've got stuff to do."
Medha: Yeah. The big feelings are like, they're like, a massive gift. But until you kind of learn how to play with them, they're like, a bit of a curse. They feel like this heavy.
Harris: Yeah, no, I'm pretty good with it now. And actually, I enjoy it. And actually, one of the healing things I did when I was - about five, nearly six years ago, is that I learnt to box. And here we have something called the UWCB, and they basically train you for eight weeks and then stick you in a rig in front of 1000 people.
Medha: Oh, my God.
Harris: So I did that. I was terrified of confrontation and anger. I was mostly scared of my own anger and, like, how I would react and if I could control myself. And actually, I found that being physically forceful and being angry are two totally different things. And once I could handle the physical side of it, I knew I could get punched in the face and be fine. I knew that if I had to, I could punch somebody else in the face and be in control and be completely aware of what I was doing. I wasn't scared of anger after that. And now - I'm not generally a very angry person, but the occasion it happens, I really enjoy it.
Medha: I love that so much. A fun way of integrating your anger.
Harris: Yeah, definitely. And it was amazing, actually, because I ended up doing two. But the first one, my boxing partner, who I was going to fight, we became really good friends. And we were hanging out up until about 20 minutes before our fight, just chilling. And everyone was like, you two can't do this. You're about to smash the crap out of each other. And we were like, "Oh, it's okay."
Medha: love it. A new perspective on that as well. You're offering a new perspective. That's beautiful. Thank you. I love that so much. My heart is glowing, like, from all the love that came through. So it was beautiful. I really appreciate it. Thank you.
Harris: Amazing. Thank you. I look forward to listening to it.
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