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  • Writer's pictureMedha Murtagh

Episode 53 – Crisis of faith

Updated: Feb 28, 2023

My arguments with Oron, and a Channel healing from Oron.

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In this episode, I'm going to share with you a healing that Oron did for me that you will receive the same benefit from. It's a healing that came through in a channeling that I did for myself, but it will help you, too, to increase your ability to hear your own wisdom and hear your intuition.

It will help to clear out some of the blocks that we have to having actual faith in our own knowing.

I'm also going to be sharing with you an argument - I will call it - that I've had with Oron; a little bit of a crisis of faith that I've been undergoing and the wisdom and support that they give me that will also benefit you.

Let's do it.

Hey, beautiful ones.

This episode is - actually not just this episode. I don't know how many episodes like this we're going to have, but I've decided to share my crisis of faith - is what I'm going to call it - that has come up for me with you. So I don't know how long that will take, because I'm actually still in it. Often I move through my personal stuff, get clarity around it, understand it, and then share it with, you know, people that follow me and I guess my audience, you'd call it. My peeps. Share it with my peeps. But this time I've decided to share it whilst I'm still in it. The reason I've decided to do that is -actually there's a couple of reasons.

One is I find this fascinating myself. And I get many questions from people asking about the process and the evolution of how the channeling has developed for me and the process that I've undergone in order to be able to be a channel for Oron in the way that I am now. The other reason is that I know that most of you that hear the podcast and maybe watch the YouTube channel, you see the channeling version of me, which is the most kind of empowered and flowing and expanded version. It's really important for me to be clear that I'm still human. I'm still undergoing my own process of expansion and evolution, and I've moved through a whole bunch of crap.

That's true.

But that doesn't mean that I don't have things coming up for me that need work and self accountability and honesty and acceptance of self for me to move through to the next level and then the next level, and then the next level.

That is true for all of us.

And while we're in a body, that's going to continue to be true. There's always going to be another level of awesomeness for us to reach. And the reason we're not there right now is because there's some stuff in us that need some attention. And so that stuff comes up to show itself to us so we can deal with it and then move onto the next level of expansion and joy and awesomeness for ourselves.

So my crisis of faith. For many years now, I've been really solid in my beliefs. I've been an intuitive energy healer for many, many years, and I feel like I've kind of learned to connect to the wisdom of the universe in a way. And as that moves through me, it gives me a level of knowing and kind of some certainty around really important foundational fundamental aspects of how life and the universe work. That has felt really solid to me for a long time. There have been other periods in my life where I haven't felt so solid, either in myself, in my self love or in my understanding of how things work and how to progress and move forward towards that more awesome in a way that flows rather than fighting against and pushing against, which was what I used to do. One of the experiences that I had with the recording I'm going to share with you of a channeling that I did with Or for myself around this crisis of faith. One of the experiences that I had was that I ended up in what I thought was a beautiful spiritual community that was intended to help each person achieve their highest, most empowered version of themselves.

And I'm not going to go into too much detail about that right now, but that turned out to be a cult. It turned out to be a place where you were kind of baited with the illusion of personal empowerment, but really what the situation and the energetics of it were asking was for surrender to the guru or the primary teacher and never to the place of actualized full personal empowerment in your own life.

I left that place years ago now and when I left, it was like I was broken. I was really kind of lost about who I am, how it all works. I was kind of turned inside out. And it took me years, actually, of getting really clear with myself and really honest with myself and kind of pulling myself apart and then cleaning stuff out and then putting myself back together in a way that worked and in a way that was empowering of self.

I had to work through a lot of crap around how would I end up in a situation like that?

How would I ever be able to trust myself again when I had thought I'd joined something that was for my benefit but turned out to be for my detriment. In hindsight, I wouldn't take it back now because the journey after leaving that place and reclaiming my self worth and my self validation and my sense of empowerment has been a really conscious undertaking, and it felt that I was really clear and solid in myself and have felt that way for a really long time, which is why I was so surprised by this crisis of faith that seemed to hit me out of nowhere.

If you've been following this podcast for a while, you know that I've been channeling Oron now for a few years and the information that comes through is amazing, and it comes with energy healing. Most people -a lot of people contact me and tell me that they feel it. And even if you don't feel it, it's still happening, it's still there and it's available to you if you choose it. I don't even really know how to describe what happened, but I will just get to the core of it.

Out of nowhere, I felt like my foundations were shaken and I didn't know what I believed anymore. I didn't know if everything that I had been saying was true. I didn't know if it's true that the universe is a mirror that shows you in the external world what it is that you are experiencing in your internal world. I went really deep down a rabbit hole, even wondering out loud to a friend of mine, "How do I know I haven't been tricking myself and really I'm Just making Oron up and it's not a thing?" That's how deep I went. And I sat there in that confusion and kind of irritation, actually, for a while. I've had a few conversations with friends, and rather than trying to fix it, which is my old mode, I just let myself kind of sit with it and be with it. And then I had a friend who was having a really tough time and we had a conversation on the phone.

They were looking for support and kind of advice. And so as I was having that conversation, it was like I was having a dual experience. So I was saying some of the things to my friend that I would have said a week before when I felt solid in my idea of how the universe works. And it's like I was trying them on as I said them. So I was connected to my friend in the conversation, but also seeing how the information, the answers, the suggestions that I was making felt inside of me so I could recalibrate whether they felt true or they didn't feel true.

I was testing them inside of myself as I said them. That was a really helpful process because I feel like I got really clear on the truth of many of the concepts, like "the universe is a mirror" and like "we actually are powerful creators." That stuff, as I tried it on, it felt really true. But there were a couple of things and areas where I still felt a level of confusion and I felt kind of disturbed around them, actually. The main primary problem that I had is - or have actually, because I haven't worked through it yet - is yes, I accept that all grown ups have got a level of, say, contraction inside of them that is being shown to them by their external

environment, therefore the universe, so that they can see it and so that they can clear it and they can move to the next level of awesome. I feel like that's true. I've got no doubt about the truth of that now, except when it comes to babies and animals.

So Oron says that when we come to Earth, we are still connected to the divinity that is at the center of us, and it's as we live our lives that we start creating blocks and disconnection from self. And then as we grow up, the universe shows those to us so that we can clear them so that then we can be our expanded version of ourselves. But babies.

If babies come in connected to the divine, it doesn't make sense to me on a logical level that what happens to babies sometimes is pain or trauma. If they come here already divine and they haven't had a chance to get fucked up yet, that haven't had a chance to contract their energy, then why on Earth do some babies, some animals who are also much more connected to the divinity than we are,

why do they experience those things?

So that hasn't been resolved for me even now? Even now. The other thing that I started to have a problem with was that the information that Oron provides has a level of generality to it. So when people ask questions, the answers feel poignant, feel powerful, there's energy to them. That all feels true. But also Oron seem to have such a big picture perspective that I started to get irritated with how general the answers were. And the universe really is a mirror, right?

I've had people in the last few weeks contact me and ask me for sessions with Oron with the question, "Will the answers be as general as what they are in the podcast?" So they were mirroring my kind of confusion or fear or irritation around that. And so, that is where I am at. And what I'm about to share with you in this episode, as well as I don't know how many subsequent episodes, is the process of me working through this crisis of faith, as I call it. My faith is still solid, like I've worked through it enough to know that Oron are real. I'm not making them up.

And the energy and information that comes through them is powerful. Like I'm back solid there. But I haven't reconciled yet. The thing about the puppies, the animals, the babies. And Oron addresses the lack of specificity and the information that comes through in the channelings that I did for myself that I'm going to share with you in the next few weeks.

So now for context, I want to tell you a couple of things. I don't know why, but when I channel for myself, I yawn a lot. Like I yawn a lot. That never happens when I'm doing a session with a person, but when I'm by myself -I usually do these sessions at night with not much, maybe a candle, not much light on. I'm tucked into bed and I'm using my phone, so the quality of the audio won't be as good as this, but it's perfectly fine. Phones are amazing these days. So that's the context in which I do them. It's before bed. There's a lot of yawning. I've edited out most of the yawning because you don't need to be subjected to that.

But I've left a couple in just so you get a sense of what it's like. They're also going to talk about my channel. So that's kind of like the energetic - I think of it as like an energetic tube that comes down into me, which is the information that I channel kind of moves through.

So they refer to that kind of energetic, I think of it as a tube, but it isn't. That's what they're talking about when they refer to a channel. And also they do a healing on me to expand my channel and the capacity for me to be able to bring through more specific information. Oron will never work on you unless you ask them to, unless you give them permission to do that. And so if you want to receive the healing that Oron did for me, the only thing you need to do is have the intention to ask for it internally and to give them permission to work on you and you will receive the same benefit that I received, and it will manifest in other ways. Possibly it might be that your intuition becomes a bit clearer. Whatever happens is up to the energetics of each individual. But all you have to do is ask for it. Say that you want it. Give it permission. And as you listen, there are going to be gaps in the audio of the channeling and that Oron's working through the energetics the entire time.

But just allow yourself to relax and have the intention of receiving. And the healing will be for you also.

And that's it. Whenever I share with you the channelings that I've done for myself that I had initially no intention of sharing, I feel a bit like you're reading my diary, but that's fine.

We're friends.

I want you to be on this journey with me because it's fascinating and we all have the capacity to connect to the highest wisdom of the universe. So here is my personal channeling from Oron in relation to my doubting the veracity, the power of Oron themselves.


We are here and we sense our air of dissatisfaction, slight confusion, apprehension in general, contraction. Your energy itself is not contracted, but your perspective somewhat is. And as you have already gathered, there is no problem with you moving through this doubt, we shall say, that has arisen within you about this work, about how relevant an ability to impact in direct, tangible ways, the life of you and others. And frankly, whether or not you have been making us up. You can feel the slight smile on your own face as you feel the energetics coming through, because you know, in fact, that you are not making this up and that we are in fact real and present.

It is your own experience of us that allows you to relax into the knowing that your mind has slightly disconnected you from. And yet again, we remind you that this is not wrong. This is part of the process. And so we know and sense that you have also a level of irritation and annoyance, yes, us but also the process. There's a level of frustration that you're experiencing around what you perceive to be the generality of the information that we bring through. But we wish to highlight to you that our work is very personal and the information that comes through is not just - correction. And that what comes through is not just information. There is also a process of energetic exchange and what you would call healing and support that is present when the information too is being delivered. There is energy also in your voice.

There is healing, energy and quality in the expression of the information. But that is not all. However, we will concede that there would be some benefit to us providing a deeper level of specificity to the people that come to you some times at some point. Our firm commitment is that we will not be providing answers to people that are looking for answers to be provided to them. And although we can be more clear and more specific in the things that we provide to them through you in terms of information, the underlying intention here is always to reconnect them to their own knowing. And so there is some work in your channel that we will do now to allow a different, more specific quality of energy and more personalized quality of energy to flow through so that the words are able to be more personalized without in any way circumventing the connection to their own power that we are really here to enable people to realize for themselves. We will do some energetic work on your channel now. You do not need to know the details of it.

So just allow yourself to relax.

And yes, we concern that it is possible for you to sometimes have a conversation with us where you sound and feel and look as though you are dialoguing with us, not just within the bounds of your being, but also externally. However, this is not the time. We will do some healing, as you would call it, energetically to allow that more personalized and specific information and energy, but really more information come through you from us.

We are calling in reinforcements, if you will. Relax into the bigness of the energy that you are about to experience and somewhat witness. There is a clenching and releasing of all the stagnant energy has been preventing the potential flow of more specific energy because it is not just us in alignment with our idea of not providing answers for people, but also you. There are still some old energetics in your system relating to the experience that you had where a spiritual teacher purported to be working for your benefit but was in fact not.

There is no need for you or your cells or your body to hold any of this anymore. So allow yourself to move, allow yourself to release, expand and let go of what you no longer need to hold, what no longer serves you.

There is nothing else that you need to be. There is no one else that you need to be. Allow yourself to relax and release and **** that which you feel in your future. Instead it becomes more and more present for you rather than something that you have to expand into in order to experience.

That is never the case.

That is never the case. We will continue to work in your energy field as you go to sleep and as you sleep tonight. Rest peacefully, Dear One. Know that you are adored and you are held and you are correct that you are here for something big and important. But the feeling there's a problem because it has not yet unfolded in the way that you can feel it calling is not accurate and it is also not effective. Look at the things you need to look at. Play with the things you need to play with. But do not project problems where problems do not exist unless you wish to percolate in the energy of problems. But we know you well enough to feel, sense and know your commitment to your expansion and the facilitation, or rather the support of the expansion of others.

Receive what you wish to give to others, from yourself and from us. Now and always. We love you, we love you. We love you. Go well.

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