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  • Writer's pictureMedha Murtagh

Episode 51 – Can't find my life purpose: why do we forget to follow our joy

Updated: Feb 28, 2023

In this episode, Oron chat with Mellie, about struggling to find your life’s purpose. Mellie asks Oron why we so often forget to follow our joy and if there’s an easy way for us to refind our self-love.

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I can't find my life purpose [00:00:22]

Why do we forget to follow our joy? [00:02:26]

I struggle with relationships [00:08:26]

Is there an easy way to find self-love? [00:09:53]


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Oron: We are here and can feel the bubbles of excitement and joy in Medha's heart as we prepare to anchor into this playful exchange with you. Welcome. Do you have any questions?

Mellie: Thank you. I certainly do. Oron, I can't seem to find my purpose in life. I'm really struggling. I feel I'm wandering around aimlessly and just wanting to find some meaning, some meaning to even get up each day. I'm just really struggling at the moment. If you could help me, that would be great.

Oron: We are aware that you are familiar with us and we are aware that you know that we often answer in the same way when we are asked similar questions. And we are aware that you will not be surprised by the answer that we are about to provide you, which is that your purpose is not a big, lofty goal that you decided prior to coming here in terms of the specificities of how it would unfold. Your purpose is joy.

And we say that not to be flippant. We say that because joy is the energetic configuration of alignment. When you follow your joy, when you follow what is calling you in a joyous, expansive way, you are moving forward into what is alignment. And so do not decree that you have a big, important purpose of helping people or transforming the world, because any of that only facilitates in the seeing of the world and others as disempowered. You are here to co-create. You are here to co-create in joy.

And as you let go of the idea that it is something that is elusive and hard for you to find and reconnect to the fact that you know joy inside of you and you know when you are moving towards it and when you are moving away from it - even if your mind has created structures over the top of your sense feeling - you can reconnect to what is leading you towards joy and what is leading you away from it. It is not as difficult as what you feel. It is not as difficult as what you think. It is actually natural for you to follow what is calling you and you are doing more of it than what you are currently allowing yourself to see. You are living your life currently. You are not being asked to do anything else than that. It is just that as you connect with your joy and you allow it to unfold in a way that feels fulfilling for you, you will then also feel as though you are living your purpose.

Mellie: Yes. Yes, I do forget the joy thing a lot. Why do we forget?

Oron: You forget because you have become habituated in other modes of being. And it is interesting because Medha also did a recording earlier today and this also came up. And she mentioned to the person with whom she did the recording that it appears as though there are themes that come to Oron in these sessions often. And this is a theme that is going to continue to unfold as more and more of you become more awake, aware, questioning of the realities that you are living.

You forget because that is currently the process of evolution within which humanity is found. You are evolving so that there is going to be less and less forgetting. But in order to get to that place, there is a conscious reclaiming of the naturalness of the flow that humanity is undergoing. And so as you learn to do that for yourself as an individual more and more and more and more and more, you are aiding the collective, supporting the collective, calling the collective forward into that same energetic knowing of what it feels like to flow towards your joy.

And so do not accidentally consider the fact that you forget now a problem or wrong, but still hold the fact that you are moving towards both yourself as an individual and yourselves in totality as the collective. You are moving towards a place where that will no longer be the norm. But right now that is where you are and it is the joyful process of uncovering your path to joy that will anchor into your beingness, into your DNA, in the what you will call "future versions" of you, so that that is no longer a question the way it is for you now.

Mellie: So just further on from the joy question. I think I get stuck in not having joy when I perceive I don't get what I think I would like. Such as I didn't get the opportunity to have children. The having a significant partner has eluded me. And I've let that get in the way of joy. Is there something you can say to that.

Oron: We would invite you in the path of reclaiming your joy to start with things that feel much less heavy than what those topics feel to you now. If you aim to develop your skill set in the most exalted form - for example, if you are learning how to play the piano, you do not endeavor to do an orchestra concerto as your first thing that you attempt to do. And so because this has become filled with interpretation and meaning and a level of heaviness - we will say - for you, that is not the best place in order to start to connect to the joy if you feel like connecting into the joy does not feel habitual to you yet. It is when it is more habitual to you that it will be more productive for you to focus on those larger, more currently heavy feeling ideas or things that have or have not occurred in your life.

And so we will counsel you to begin with the simplest of things. Medha has worked in her life, for example, she came from a situation where growing up she did not feel at all supported. And she was so disconnected from the idea and the feeling and the experience of being supported that she began by attempting to find a level of support from the earth. She was sitting on the floor and she said, "Okay, well, I am being held by the Earth right now. I can't fall down any further than I am. So I guess I am technically supported." That is where she began and she has walked that path and walked that path and walked that path. And she is now someone who feels deeply supported both by herself and the world around her.

And so begin where it is simple. She could not fall from the floor of the earth. So begin where it is simple for you. It might be that you love putting your feet in water. It might be that you love delicious ice cream. And fall into yourself as you experience the joy. Connect in with yourself, feel the feelings of joy -however slight they may be. Because as you know, what you bring your attention to is what is going to expand in your experience. Prioritize your reconnection to joy. Make it something that is important so that it does not become something that, like you said, you forget to focus on. Put reminders on your mirrors. Put reminders on your phone. Do whatever it is that is required in order that you feel supported so that you start to reconnect in a more regular way.

And as you build the momentum of that, you will find that it is much faster to reconnect to your connection to your joy than it has been to disconnect from it.

Mellie: Thank you. That's beautiful. I think that also connects into my other question. It was that I feel that I'm living a very small life. I know there's a bigger life out there for me, but I haven't been able to move towards it yet and I guess because I haven't been feeling enough joy, that's probably stopping me from that bigger life. Is it?

Oron: If you continue to look externally for the things that are going to give you the feelings that you wish for, you will continue to chase things that are ungraspable. So we will not say that it is your lack of joy that has stopped you from living a bigger life. We will say it in a different way. As you move to that connection with your joy and the prioritizing of your joy, the giving it credence, the giving importance, the investing your own time and energy into it, things will start to unfold and you will be called to things. And as you support yourself in moving towards those things, what you will discover -correction. What you will discover is that you will be living a bigger life. It is something that will unfold in a natural way, but it is not something that you can force upon yourself from the chasing of things in the external. A bigger life is not about the things that you are doing and is not about the things that are surrounding you. It is about how you feel in life, in your relationship with it.

Mellie: Okay, that's great. Because I guess that's my - probably my my biggest thing is that I struggle with relationships. I guess a lot of people do. And I would like to find a way to navigate that a little bit easier. Is that just doing some more meditation? Is that - how will I?

Oron: No. We are seldom as forthright in a saying statement of negative, but it is absolutely not just about meditating more. Because you know this. You have tried it and you don't feel as though it has made the difference that you wish that it could. When you are having difficulties in relationship, it is always because at the core, there are some things that require your attention in your relationship with yourself. In the same way that we are guiding you towards an inner connection with your joy instead of focusing on the external things in order to discover whether you are living a big life or a small life, as you start to honor, connect with, experience, meet yourself. Consider what your needs are and find ways to meet them.

As you become more accepting and loving of self and as you become the best partner in life that you can be to yourself, you will be training yourself in the act of receiving that same level of good partnership. And as you do more and more of that, you will find that you no longer need the things from the external that you have considered that you needed before. And the irony of that is that that's when they will come.

Mellie: That's fantastic. I think that forgetfulness that I've been employing as a tactic is really not served me and I need to... To...yeah, more self care, definitely. And self-love. Is there an easy way to find self-love?

Oron: There is a process that Medha is now teaching called the Return to Wholeness process, and there is a podcast episode that has been released that contains an example of someone being guided through that process. But we will tell you that the return to wholeness process is not necessarily something to work with someone else on. It is something to work with oneself on. The basis of the return to wholeness process is this: you have parts of you inside of yourself that you have disconnected from. You have deemed them bad. Those parts of you hold emotions that you have deemed bad and wish to disconnect from.

The truth is that every single part of you absolutely adores you and is trying to either protect you from something or guide you towards something that they believe is for your benefit. And as you disconnect from those parts of you and as you move away from them and ignore them and as you actually hate them sometimes, those parts continue to do what they can to either protect you or move towards what they consider good, depending on their perspective.

And it is only once you come to those parts of yourself with actual acceptance, with actual openness, when you offer them a space of safety so they can share their concerns with you and their perspective and you can work together with them to support them in order that they be healed and integrated. And they can also access the higher perspective which other parts of you hold. You will be developing a level of self-love and self acceptance if you practice this on a regular basis. It is not more complicated than that.

The truth is that most of you know that in theory self-love is important. And in theory, you agree that it matters and you think that you are doing it sometimes. And it is true that acts of self-love - for example, having a massage or having a bath - can be self love. The self care that we see you putting on your list is not the act of self-love that will lead to the transformation of the life that you all seek. Self-love is how you talk to yourself. Self-love is how you think about yourself. Self-love is how you support yourself. Self-love is your relationship with yourself.

And many of you focus on the external and ignore this deeply important paradigm shifting work. Self-love, when you are looking at the world through the eyes of someone who loves themselves, the world is a completely different place. It is a playground. It is something that supports your love of you. It is something that comes to you with gifts because you feel that they are aligned to you and that you deserve them.

And this important point is what we will conclude with. When you connect into your self-love, when you start to feel worthy, you are not saying anything about the worth of anybody else. Some of you shy away from claiming your self-worth because you think it is almost like saying that you are worth more than others. That is not what self-love is. Self-love is not, "I am better than you." Self-love is, "I am lovable and I love me," and there is nothing, nothing in the negative when it comes to that.

No one is deficient by you loving yourself more. Do not confuse self-love with arrogance. Arrogance does not come from self-love. Arrogance comes from fear and disempowerment. When you are deeply connected to your own self-love, that is when you are your best self, and that is when you have the most to offer others. And so do not do this so that you offer the most to others. Do it because you deserve it and it feels good. And that is the purpose of your life.

We love you. We love you. We love you. Go well.

Mellie: Thank you.

Medha: Oh, holy shit, that felt really big. I got shivers all over. That felt bigger than normal. This morning's one did as well. It feels bigger. It's like the energy is bigger. Oh, how'd you go?

Mellie: That was fantastic. Yeah, a lot of it is just, "Hello. You've listen to the podcast, you still, yeah." Got it.

Medha: But they never do it like that. You just did that action. They are - this happens sometimes. I fog up for no reason. Like, why does that happened? It happens after Oron sessions. There's no reason for me to be foggy right now. Yeah, they never do it like that. I get to feel it, is the most self-loving. And they keep saying, "We will tell you again and again and again." They don't get bored of us. They don't get tired of us. They don't want to hit us upside the head and go, "I fucking told you this already. Come on." They don't do any of that. They just.. They just love us, like in the most beautiful, profound way. You can't see, but I'm holding my heart. It's so beautiful.

Mellie: Is it entirely possible that the minute I put my response in that box yesterday -

Medha: Yes.

Mellie: That I started to receive healing? Because I woke up today one hundred percent different than I woke up yesterday. And I had already had self-love for myself today, a lot higher than it was. And I'm like... Oh, but that part of me wanted to just go, "I think it is," and then I just wanted to check in with you about that.

Medha: Yeah, absolutely. So I've been an energy healer for a really long time, and that's kind of always happened. But somethings happening in terms of Oron and the energy and their ability to work with people in the last little while that yeah. I have absolutely no doubt. Because you putting that thing in there is you having an intention and connecting to the energy of this thing. Right? You're going yes, I'm a yes to this. And when you've got that intention, like the universe reconfigures and things align and I'm absolutely positive Oron can absolutely work on you when you agree to be worked on with Oron. You know? Like you specifically said, "Yes, I want to come on this thing, this podcast with them." And so you give them permission. They can't do anything unless you give them subtle permission.

Mellie: And the minute you Oron or you started whichever, the feeling in my heart was just beautiful. It just went straight in there and it was like there was no fear, there was no scared or anything, which is like so good.

Medha: Oh my God. I'm so glad. that's beautiful. So that's the feeling I get when I channel them always. I've said I feel like I'm - you know those pictures in Christianity of Jesus where the heart is glowing?

Mellie: Yes.

Medha: I feel like that.

Mellie: Wow. Okay.

Medha: And so I'm so glad that you got to feel that experience, because that is you dropping away all the bullshit and connecting into that self-love. They're only just a mirror, even energetically. That's what they constantly say. We're just a mirror to you of how amazing you are and how lovable you are and how adorable you are. That's what they say of all of us.

Mellie: They didn't say anything I did not know, really. But it was it was just said, in a way I can now hear it.

Medha: Do you know what? It's true, right? And they've said it. They never tell us anything we don't already know. And it's the recognition that makes us have the feeling. But also, they say things in a way that I feel like, yes, I know them, but they say them in a way that, like, I had never thought of it that way before.

Mellie: Yes.

Medha: You know what I mean? And so but after they've spoken - and it's like they say such big stuff, but it's not... It's very simple language. Like it's not, it's not overly complicated. Like, you don't need a PhD to understand it. But I feel like I've learned so much, even though when I hear back I recognize that I knew it. I didn't know it know it. So it's like they bring my knowing to my experience. That's what I feel they do.

Mellie: Can I just ask one sort of personal question? When did you - is the word channeling? When did you start doing Oron? Is that the right word? I don't know.

Medha: Yeah. I've realized - so there's a podcast episode that goes into it called learning to channel or something like that. Where a friend interviews me about it. But what I realized is - because I've been an intuitive energy healer for about 15 years and I've been training myself without realizing to be a channel in the way that I am now. Because I would feel the energy of stuff and I'd be able to say things to people that I shouldn't know. Like I just would feel.

So it's like that that decade or 15 years of career trained me to have the confidence to not edit, to just say the thing. So I had no evidence for what I was saying other than it was landing in the top of my head. So I had to, over time, build that faith and that trust in myself. And I think that channeling that energy healing for years and years and years and years and trusting it absolutely. So I would say things to people, yeah, trained me.

Because when I first heard of Abraham Hicks and Esther Hicks, I desperately wanted to be a channel. For two years, I would try and force the universe to make me a channel and it doesn't work like that. So it was literally only after I'd completely let go of the idea of being a channel that I jumped on a massage table to get a massage and all of a sudden I felt like I could answer any question about the nature of the universe.

And lucky enough, my friend who was giving me the massage was an intuitive person, too. So I said to her, "Hey, can you just ask me cool stuff about the universe? I feel like I can answer questions." She goes, "Okay." She said - her question was so good. She goes, "Why don't we love ourselves?" And I knew that I had to speak without thinking. I knew that I had to open my mouth and just without any thought, I knew - somehow, I knew if I had a thought everything was going to implode.

And so I just - she recorded it. And so words just fell out of my mouth. And then afterwards, I was like, "What the fuck was that?" Because I didn't know. And then gradually over time, I've been getting like an apprenticeship on how to, get better and better at it.

Mellie: Fantastic. Thank you for sharing it. I appreciate it.

Medha: That's alright. My pleasure. I feel like it's for the world. Like it's absolutely not just for me. And I'll say to someone before I feel like I've run out of questions. I used to have so many questions about life and the universe and all that stuff. But also I feel now like I can kind of connecting to them without formal channeling. So I feel like I'm getting the answers that I need, which is great for my life. But that's why I need people to come on and ask questions because I don't... It works. It's really easy when someone's there and I can just, like, really relax into myself and let the whole process happen. So I need people like you - well, I don't need them, but it just makes it more flowing. And so I really appreciate it.

Mellie: Wow. That's great. Thank you. That was fantastic.

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