Episode 47 – How do I make sure I make the right choice?
Updated: Feb 28
In this episode Oron chat with Damendica about the idea we have that that if we’re going to have awesome lives, we need to find the right answer, or make the right choice. Damendica asks Oron what they think about using plant medicine and substance for healing and Oron conclude with an interesting insight into impatience and self love.
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Finding the 'right' choice/partner/career [00:00:15]
Do you recommend using substances for healing? [00:06:48]
Impatience and self love [00:09:11]
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Oron: We are here and ready. Let's play.
Medha: Earlier today, I spent a couple hours listening to multiple episodes of the Clear Perspective podcast because I was trying to formulate the right question to ask you. And then I became curious as to why am I overthinking this question. So I used the self sabotage techniques to address those parts of me, gave them some TLC lovin'. And then I said, "Fuck it. You know what? I'm going to just relax, have fun with this session and I'm going to just speak on what I've been experiencing lately rather than formulate questions to ask. And from there, hopefully this just flows and we have fun together."
Damendica: So what I've been experiencing lately is forgetfulness. It seems like my long term memory as well as my short term memory are having trouble to recall information. People will ask me, "Do you remember when we did this?" And I'm like, "I don't know." Or I'm trying to remember like a number that I just wrote down and I can't remember it. I'm also experiencing kind of low on energy, kind of feels like a vampire is just sucking me dry and I just am low on energy, especially when I'm having interactions with people. The most I can do is an hour and then I'm just depleted. Also, I'm experiencing weight gain. This is something I'm working on with the self sabotage techniques. It's hard for me to right now to authentically love that part of me that is gaining weight in order to protect me, to heal from the emotional pain. And I'm worried that I'm not going to be able to manifest or, should I say, open the avenues for money to flow into my life easier because there's a part of me that I'm unable to love at this time, and I don't want that to cause a blockage for me to be able to have the abundance of money that I want. So do you mind addressing those three for now?
Oron: We will speak to all of this and we will say something that you will not be surprised at at the core of you, but that your mind might be surprised at. And that is that all of this is deeply, deeply connected and related.
So when you began, you spoke about wanting to find the right question. That idea, that feeling, that the right question exists and you must uncover and you must find it is an illusion. And most of you live with that illusion in regards to all of the aspects of your life. You must find the right path. You must make the right decision. You must pick the right partner. You must pick the right career. You must, you must, you must. And the assumption is that there is one right choice and all the others are wrong. And if you find that right choice, then you will flow forward to the things that you want. And if you do not find that right choice, you will make what you consider wrong choices that will take you in the wrong direction. I.e. away from what you want.
We want you to relax into the knowing that the universe is a perfectly calibrated being that supports you. Not only support you is actually a part of you and it are one. And there is no wrong choice in the form of, "Oh, well, you didn't pick the right choice, therefore you have no opportunity to have everything that you wish." There is none of that. What there is, is support, support, support, support, support, support, support in uncovering what is standing in the way between you and all of the things that you want.
And so even if you are making what look like wrong choices and you are being shown outcomes that don't look like the preferred outcomes, they are actually the universe's way of guiding you towards the path to what you want always. You are always being shown the things that need your attention. If they did not need your attention, they would not be being brought to your attention.
And so what you wish for yourself is flow. But what you are habituated into is pushing and discovering the right answer. And we want to remind you over and over and over and over and over and over again that there is no such thing. You believe that there is a right answer because you are a truth barometer inside of yourself, below the level of your conscious mind. And so you know the truth of the fact that things should flow for you and things should work out well for you. You know the truth of that. But that does not mean that when you are turning towards the more darker aspects, that you are heading in the wrong direction, because it is actually those aspects that will show you the way to everything that you want, not when you reject them and turn away from them, but when you move towards them, heal them and integrate them, as you know.
Do not think that you need to be perfect at everything, all of the aspects need to be totally loved and adored in order for you to be taking steps towards what you want and in order for you to see evidence of the progress that you're already making. There is no end point to this journey. There is no criterion that you must meet. And then the floodgates open and everything comes and before that, nothing is available. That is not the process. That is not how it works.
As you move towards any part of you that is requiring the attention and the love and the integration and the healing. And you do even a small amount of that, you will start to see evidence of that in your outer world. This is a gradual process and we will say again something that is counterintuitive to you. But the faster you wish it to be, the slower it will become because you will be pushing. The more comfortable you are with it taking time, the faster the process will be because you are in a space of allowing.
And so do not, dear one, make the play of this, of expanding into self-love and moving towards what you want. Do not make that things that you have to tick off a list and do perfectly in order to be granted the things that you wish, because from that model you are still the disempowered one. And that is never, never, never, never the case. You are deeply powerful. You are the universe. There is nothing more powerful than you.
Damendica: Yes, you are right. I am losing patience, and that is something I am working on. I just want everything now. And I know that everything I'm going through is part of the puzzle piece and I got to just go through it and enjoy and relax and flow with it. I was wondering if there's anything, and tools that could also help maybe get to that self-love. I know that in our culture there is like plant medicine, such as like marijuana, ayahuasca, shrooms. Are those some tools that you can use occasionally to help with self-love?
Oron: You can use any tool occasionally, but not if you're using it in a way that is going to attempt to pole vault the blocks. You cannot leap over them and you cannot skip over them. And so anything can be a tool if you are being guided towards it. However, if you're moving towards it because you want to overcome something, that in your normal state of consciousness you cannot do, which is love yourself, we would encourage you to firstly turn to the part of you that is in that belief that you cannot love yourself because you have been following this work for a while and you know that deep down, all of the parts of you actually adore you. Self-love is already within you. Do not think of it as something that you have to manufacture or create? It is something that you relax into ultimately. And that is why some of those substances of which you speak allow you to access it. It's because they allow a relaxation of the paradigms that you usually use to keep yourself away from your self-love.
And so if that is something that is calling to you, we would never say do this or don't do that. But we will encourage you to always move to action from a place of clean knowing. What is the motivation? What are you doing it for? Is it because you wish to fast forward through a part that you do not really wish to experience in your normal consciousness? If that is the reason, then even if you have a good experience, it is going to be difficult for you to move through towards that good experience without associating that experience with that substance. And you do not need a substance in order to relax into your own self-love.
We remind you that you do it often. It is just that you put more credence on the times where you are not experienced self-love than the times that you are. It is often a matter of focus because, as you know, what you focus on expands. Your mind, likes to solve the problems and that is a really helpful thing for it to do. But if you could support your mind in also coming into a place of balance in its perspective and honoring all of the many times that you actually do experience self-love. When you make decisions that are for your benefit, that is your self-love also.
And in fact, we will speak about the impatience that you brought up. The impatience that you brought up is your self-love too. It is the part of you that is sick of you not living the divine, amazing, flowing, powerful life that it knows you are capable of having. And so why not turn to that part and accept some of the gifts that you already have, which is the deep knowing of your deserving-ness. You cannot be more deserving than what you are and that part of you knows that. And so allow her to share that with you.
This is not about shutting down the inpatient part of you. This is about supporting her and allowing her to support you so that you come into integration and wholeness. And then these questions will not even arise for you. You will feel your way through life with your own knowing, and that is what you are moving towards. Which is why you feel as though sometimes you'll mind, yourself, your being is kind of being recalibrated. That is true. That is what's happening. You are moving away from an old mode of interaction with yourself in the world that is not as helpful to you as what you are discovering could be had by you if you change some of the modes of interaction.
And so you are getting an upgrade. And as you do that, that is a somewhat discombobulating time. So be mindful of your body and be mindful of your own wisdom around your body and be asking your mind what it needs to feel supported. Be asking your body what it needs to feel supported. The answers are always within you. Always.
Damendica: Okay, so recalibrating. Could that be the cause of forgetfulness, too? Like long term and short term memory?
Oron: We will guide you again to connect into yourself and your own knowing and discuss it with yourself, with the aspects of yourself. Commune with your own energy and commune with your mind and find the knowing that you already have. We are here to help all of you see each other as well as yourselves as how you really are. But we, too, are just a tool. We do not wish for you to circumnavigate your own discernment and insert the words that we are saying to you.
You feel the energy of what we are saying. And so take that inwardly. Take that inwardly to yourself, because we are just a mirror of the energy that lives already within you. We are crutch that you can sometimes use, support that you can sometimes use, a tool that you can sometimes use. But we do not wish to provide you definitive answers. We instead wish you to - correction. We instead wish to provide you with this definitive guidance: You know. You always know. And, yes, as you go through the process of recalibrating, there are many things that will feel as though they are not functioning properly momentarily. But do not relax - correction. Do not just use those words to allow you to relax. Do your own inquiry within yourself. Learn to be your own scientist, your own doctor, your own counselor, your own healer. Learn the language of your inner world; how your body communes with you and communicates with you, how your mind communes with you and communicates with you.
The mind and the fact that it is forgetting things is not a problem. The mind is never a problem. It is a part of you, just as the impatient part of you is a part of you and is just as valid and just as valuable. And so if, for example, you are in the process of trying to move from one mode of interacting with yourself to the other - and you mentioned that you feel that you overthink sometimes - it is very possible that you are currently in a place where there is some part of you that is rejecting the previous role of the mind and taking that further to rejecting the mind itself. So we invite you to play with this, to take it inwardly and use your own guidance to gain clarity as to what is happening for you so that you can relax into your power, your knowing. Because you have got it all. You have all - all of you, everyone who is listening to this. You have all got the universal wisdom that exists in the world living within you. You can connect, you can discover, you can uncover, you can support and you can heal everything.
Damendica: Okay, yes. I do agree that I'm always overthinking and in my mind a lot. And as I'm going through the self-sabotage.
Oron: We are going to stop you. We are going to stop you because it is not true. What you just said is not a factual statement. "I am always overthinking" is not correct. And so the story that you're telling yourself is not helpful to you in this moment. Yes, it is true that you possibly have a habit of overthinking, but you are not overthinking every second. And that is the exact paradigm and pattern that we were attempting to show to you earlier. You focus on what is not going well to the exclusion of what is going well, and that makes it difficult to recalibrate your energy to the new modes that you wish to employ in interacting with yourself and the world.
And so we are not saying you are doing anything wrong, but we are saying that if you wish to relax into more flow and we can feel that you do, it would be beneficial of you to become inquisitive and curious as to this pattern of focusing on the negative rather than the positive.
And as you do that, you can build up the feeling, as Medha calls it, "building the awesome" of what is already working for you because your perception is making you feel that less is working than what is actually so. It is working much more effectively and efficiently. The process of you transforming how you interact with yourself in the world is a big deal, is a massive deal, is something that requires space and time and support. And so as you attempt to push yourself to be ready more than you are in the present moment, it's creating contraction, it is creating resistance and it is creating more self-rejection.
And so encourage yourself to see your growth, value, your growth, honor your growth, celebrate your growth and the times and the places and the people that you interact with. What you do are amazing, because there are many of those also. Building the awesome is just as important as clearing the crap. And so we would encourage you to play there, to write down the list of the things that you are doing amazing at, the things that you love about yourself and refer to them often and add to them and build them, build the feeling of it so that you start to see yourself in a much more clear perspective as the balance being that you are and not as the problem that needs to be fixed.
You, dear one, are never a problem. Your patterns are not problems. They are parts of you that are requiring reconciling, healing and integration. But they are never a problem. If you see them as a problem, you will subconsciously wish to turn away from them when the solution and the reason and the thing that you want always lies on the other side of them. You can't go over them. You can't pole vault. You can't go around them. You can't dig under them. It is through them that you will find your wholeness and therefore everything that you wish. And you deserve it all. You deserve it all. You deserve it all. Right, now. The you that is here right now in this moment deserves it all. You do not need to do anything to increase your worth or your ability to deserve anything, because that is always already at maximum, even when you do not experience it.
And as you turn to these parts of yourself that you also reject and start to embrace them more and more, you will see the changes coming to you in your external world in a gradual way. It is not all or nothing. This is a gradual, slow process. And we remind you that the more comfortable you are with it being slow, the faster it'll be. But nothing in you is a problem. Everything is whole, perfect, divine, complete. You are the universe. The universe is you. And you do not lack power. You do not lack power.
And even on the surface, when you feel as though you are powerless on the surface or you feel as though you're rejecting yourself, deeper than that, you are always connected and you are always whole.
And as you learn to relax, or rather as you learn to let go of the patterns that keep you from relaxation, you will touch it more and more regularly. And as you build the connection to those experiences and honor those experiences - really honor those experiences with passion and enthusiasm, because those are what you are looking for, build them - this will be much easier than what it is feeling to you right now. This does not have to be hard. This does not have to be hard. Self-love is actually your natural state and you are in self love in every moment, even if you are disconnected from it.
Know that your truth, your being is self-love and relax and play and enjoy life because that is what you are here for. We love you. We love you. We love you, Go well.
Damendica: Well, I got some more self-sabotage techniques.
Medha: That went for ages.
Damendica: That was what? I
Medha: It went for ages. They don't normally talk for that long.
Damendica: Really. How long is it?
Medha: Well, I might be wrong because I go in a funny place, so I don't know.
Damendica: Oh, okay.
Medha: How did you go? How was it?
Damendica: It was good. I felt like we touched on more of the returning to whole process type. So that's what it seemed to be focusing on.
Medha: Well, lucky you have got that process up your sleeve and you're going to be getting better and better and better at it.
Damendica: Yeah, I hope so.
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