Episode 42 – How can you overcome fear and anxiety?
Updated: Oct 24
In this episode, Oron chat with Dianne. They explore what's really happening when we have a spiritual experience, and what we can do to open ourselves up to having more of them. Oron also discuss how we can work through fear and anxiety, and they make a deeply important point about self-love. Despite the fact that most of us are overly self-critical, and spend episode-42-how-can-you-overcome-fear-and-anxietymore time in self judgement than self-love, we all experience unconditional self-love very day.
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What happens when we have a spiritual experience? [00:00:13] You already have experiences of unconditional love [00:05:03] 00:06:22 How do we work through fear and anxiety? [00:06:22]
Is anxiety just energetics or is it body chemistry? [00:10:25]
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Oron: We're here and ready. Let's play.
Dianne: Going back probably about 18 months ago, I had an experience where I went to a book launch of a really good girlfriend of mine and it was the most amazing day. And everyone pouring out love to her. And she had an American Indian shaman come and do drumming and stuff like that. And it was the most beautiful day. And I left feeling amazing. And then about four days later, I realized I still felt the same amazing feeling that I felt on that day. And I was driving to work and I said, "God, tell me what's different about me. What's happened?" And I clearly heard the voice of God say to me, "You've found your joy," and then straightaway said, "You had to stop living your life from a place of fear in order to find your joy." Now, that's great. It's wonderful. I'm just wondering if you can shed some more light on on what happened on that day that caused such a huge shift in me.
Oron: What happened on that day was allowing an openness. You all have the capacity to live from that place that you were experiencing when you say you were in touch with your joy. And if you have heard us - and we know that you have - we are constantly reminding you of the importance of play. Play is energetically important for a number of reasons. One of them is that when you are genuinely in a state of play, you are automatically in a state of allowing, in a state that allows expansion and that allows you to connect to your joy. Your joy is part of your intuitive guidance. And it is, in fact, when you are in a state of fear that it makes it difficult for you to allow that intuitive guidance to be the thing that drives you forward into action in the decision making process in your life. And so there is not that just one moment that you have experienced that allowing, releasing, letting go and expansion into joy. You have had many experiences of it. It is just that that one was more pronounced and so you remember it more clearly. But you regularly have moments where, in your everyday life, that you dismiss readily where you are in that state of expansion. If you were to playfully encourage yourself to notice those and to feel the energetic imprint, the energetic experience of them within your body, the physical experience within your body also of what it is that you are doing inside of yourself to allow that to come, it will start to feel less like a gift of grace. It is not a gift from anything external to you ever. It is something that you allow within yourself. But we will counsel you with this: the message that you received, although true, you could potentially use in order to attempt to reject your own fear, because the information came in the form of you don't experience this joy because you have been living in fear. So our warm, loving advice to you is to not accidentally make that mean that your fear is bad or blame your fear for keeping you from your joy, because we remind you that every part of you that is experiencing any of the - what you call challenging emotions - you actually call negative emotions. Any part of you that is experiencing those things is experiencing them for a reason. And they are constantly coming up in your awareness in order so that you will turn to them and address the concerns and heal those aspects of you so that you come into wholeness, into fullness, because it is when you are in your fullness that you are your most allowing. And when you feel safe, you are at your most allowing. And we remind you that it is not possible for you to build a state of safety, full complete safety, an experience of safety inside of yourself, if you are subtly rejecting any aspect of you. So attempting to find your joy by rejecting your fear is just going to lead to more division, less energy and more contraction. And so do not make fear, do not make any negative emotion, the enemy or the block. They are not blocks in the way that you might perceive them. They are actually the doorways that as you walk towards them and then move through them with acceptance and with love, your joy is always on the other side because the joy is always there. The joy lives in the depths of you. It's just that you are working out how to coordinate your energetics and how to coordinate your belief systems and your internal mechanisms in order to allow that to be the place that you live from in a more conscious way.
Dianne: So if I'm addressing those parts of me that come up and addressing them from a place of love, what might that look like?
Oron: That looks like, employing the skill set that you already have available and provide freely to your loved ones. So if you have a friend or a child or someone that you care about who is really upset. Say, for example, that in a place of fear you seldom try and make them shut up. What you do is you turn to them and you say, "Sweetie, what's going on? Why are you scared? What's happening for you? What are you scared will happen? What would make it better for you? What do you feel you need? How can I help you?" If you turn to the aspects of you with that same level of love and acceptance and attempting to support rather than reject or silence, that will change everything.
Dianne: So by addressing it that way then, do I come to some sort of realization with them, just an understanding of what it is they're trying to tell me, because clearly the fear is not something that I can live through, but I need help to understand what fear is trying to tell me and then put it into a bit of context.
Oron: When you say the fear is not something you can live through, what do you mean by that?
Dianne: I can't.... The fear constantly comes up all the time and stops me from doing the things that I should be doing. That's not a healthy place to be, because I think the fear is just trying to keep me safe from something. But in actual fact, it's probably keeping me in my comfort zone.
Oron: Yes. And again, we counsel you from that stance, it can be very easy to attempt to think that the fear needs to be rejected or fixed. But what needs to happen is for you to make friends with the fear and uncover. Rather, make friends with the part of you that is feeling the fear and uncover what it is. Uncover what it is that they feel that they are keeping you safe from and then work with them to find something that meets both needs; the need that you have to expand and move forward and the need that it has to keep you safe. It is sometimes a process of working through some belief or experience that you had previously that has led you to conclusions that are not as helpful as what more of you know is helpful. And so if you are attempting to move into expansion and there is a part of you that is scared that something bad will come for you if you attempt to expand, turning to that part of you, addressing that part of you and discovering what it is that is inside of it - and we will say that it's possible that many of you have tried this process before and not found an answer. And then you assume that the process may not work. But we will tell you this: if you come to those aspects of yourself with true acceptance, with true interest in what their perspective is, they will open up to you and reveal to you what is happening to them. But if you turn to them from really deep down feeling like you want to get rid of them so you can move forward and you attempt to be accepting, that will be felt by you and that part of you will not give you the information that you need because it will feel that you are dismissing its concerns and it believes that its concerns are true. And so it has to be a real union, a real working together to find a solution that meets the needs of all of the parts of you. And as you do that, they will trust you more and you will trust yourself more and you will come into a wholeness and an integration and you will be able to have them work for you rather than what it feels like sometimes, which is that they work against you. They never work against you. They never work against you. They never work against you. But it can look like that to you when you have different ideas of what moving forward looks like. They want you safe. They want you safe. And that is a valuable, valuable thing. And consider the fact that you have been rejecting these parts of you. And despite that, they have your back. They are attempting with every energy that they have available to them to keep you safe, despite the fact that you have been rejecting them. And so think about that. Feel into that and know that in that instance, they are providing you with a personal experience of unconditional love because they do not care if you hate them. They do not care that you are trying to reject them. They are still doing everything they can to be there for you and protect you from something that they do not think that you see as a threat, but they believe is a real threat. And so these aspects of you are lovable. They are unconditional love in action in the experience of you. And if you come to them from that perspective and come to them with an attitude of helping them to be free and integrated and part of the whole, they will come to you and they will open up to you and they will tell you their deepest fears. And as you work with them together, really together, not trying to reject them, but trying instead to uplift them and to free them and to integrate them, life gets magical.
Dianne: Yeah, sounds beautiful. So it's kind of a side note then. I struggle a lot with anxiety. Would you say that anxiety is one of these things or is anxiety made up of a little bit of like the body chemistry? Like, is it just energetics or is there something else going on with anxiety?
Oron: The foundation of everything that is physical is energetic. That does not mean that if you break your leg, you don't want medicine to come in and give you a cast. You can use tools that assist and facilitate. But the truth and your science tells you that is that the physical world that you see that looks hard, solid material, rigid is actually made up of energy. It is all energy. But as you take that same attitude that we have been talking to about to your anxiety, rather than seeing it as a problem that needs to be fixed, seeing it as an aspect of you that loves you and works for you under all circumstances and you genuinely bring that attitude, you will uncover things that you have been unable to uncover before. And the reason you have been unable to uncover them before is because you have not been a safe space inside of yourself. And think about that. Think about that. You have not been a safe space inside of yourself. You have been rejecting aspects of you, including the feelings of anxiety. And if you are not safe inside of yourself, doesn't it make sense that you experience anxiety?
Dianne: Yeah. Yeah, it does. It makes a lot of sense.
Oron: A lot of the issues that you experience emotionally and energetically come from that process of self rejection that you are not aware that you are doing. And as you incorporate so much more love, so much more self acceptance, so much more self encouragement rather than self recrimination, you will start to feel like you can flow in life. And most of you know that there is a sense inside of you that you should be able to flow and it becomes frustrating that you're not flowing. And so you try to slug yourself harder and make yourself work harder. And that is just adding more to the difficulty, the contraction and the stress energy that you are actually trying to move away from. So remind yourself these parts of you adore you and they are incredibly resilient and incredibly strong and they are not put off by the fact that you don't care for them. That experience of unconditional love, when many of you are working to build the feeling of self-love, know that that is already inside of you. And as you take that lens to these parts of you, it will be so much easier for you to appreciate them, love them and accept them. And that is the elixir. Your own self love is what heals. It's what heals in the deepest way, not in a Band-Aid way. And you will come into a state of wholeness and safety within that will then allow you to play and to allow the joy in a much deeper way than you have ever experienced before. And that is what is intended for you. You are lovable. And as you add that to your own experience and exchange with yourself the loving of self, not just in theory, not just as an idea. Oh, yes, it's good to love myself, but as a lived day in, day out, moment to moment thing. You will sometimes forget to love yourself and that's okay. In the moment that you notice, bring yourself back to the act of self love of the part of you that forgot to love you. This is very deep. This runs very deep. But there is not one amongst you who is not lovable and adorable. And as you start to live from that place, as you start to really open yourself to supporting yourself and receive that support from you, as you start to really open yourself, to be free inside of yourself, with yourself, without you being rejected, as you build that sense of safety and worthiness inside of yourself by loving yourself and supporting yourself, the universe will then be a mirror of that to you. That is what you feel is calling you and nothing is standing in the way. It is turning to the self. It is a loving of the self. It is an encouraging of the self that will propel you to the joyous life that you can feel in front of you. We love you. You love you. Love you. Go well.
Medha: Oh, I'm so twitchy.
Dianne: You hit your head.
Medha: Yeah, I hit my head again. It didn't matter. Like it didn't break the connection or anything. Oh, I'll just stop the recording.
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