Episode 38 – Accepting the unlovable bits of me: developing self love and self acceptance
Updated: Feb 28
In this episode, Oron chat with Heather. They do a deep dive about how to really love ourselves, including the bits that are a bit harder to love - like our jealousy. This episode is a little unusual, in two ways. Firstly because Oron begin the episode by talking about a fear that I'd recently uncovered in myself, and secondly because the episode ends abruptly because our internet dropped out. Heather has kindly agreed to be a guest again, so we can all enjoy that beautiful feeling of completion that we humans seem to love.
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Uncovering hidden blocks [00:02:57] How do I stop being jealous [00:07:16] How do I love the unlovable parts of me? [00:09:28]
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Oron: We are here and have been looking forward to this exchange. Medha took a little longer to connect with us than normal because she was somewhat disturbed internally by the conversation that you both had previous to hitting the record button. There are parts of her that are very ready to allow this energy and this work to go out into the world. And there are other parts of her that are not as ready as what she had perceived. She has worked on her fear of being seen. She has worked on her sense of security and safety within herself. And, like all of you, when you are doing conscious inner work, when you evolve much further than where you were previously, it can sometimes become a little difficult to see the smaller amounts of contraction that may still be present. But we remind you that it applies to you and Medha and anyone else who is consciously committed to becoming more themselves, to becoming more connected to the power within them; that those things, when you are genuinely open to seeing them, will come forth at the right time so that you are able to see them and work with them and address them. Turn towards them, love them, heal them and integrate them so that you are able to move forward. Medha is aware now of the fear that she has been holding that has in some ways been energetically, as she would say, locking the receptivity of the world to this message. But we wish to tell you and Medha and anyone that is listening, that there is perfection in the universe and there is no problem here. There is no rush here because there is nothing that needs to be fixed. Every human being, every cell, every organism is able to receive what they are ready for. And that does not depend on the person who is meant to give it to them. Being ready and able in that moment, because the universe provides so many opportunities and avenues for support. So for those of you that feel that you are here to be of service, be of service initially to yourself, and then rather than feeling like you need to fix anyone or support anyone, allow yourself to see them in their absolute power and follow your intuitive, joyful impulses to what it is that you can do in terms of playing with them to expand you and them to their next version of themselves, the more connected version of themselves, the version of themselves that already lives within them, does not need to be created, does not need to be manufactured, that needs to be allowed to come forth from the center of your being. Do you have a question?
Heather: Wow. Thank you, Oron. Yeah, obviously you have read my mind. That's so helpful. And yes, I do have a question. So since, well for the last twenty five years, I've been working towards loving myself and accepting myself. And since my sessions with you, it's like taking it to a whole other level. And I've seen - I'm finding it much easier to love the, what could be seen as, the unlovable parts of myself. And I'm finding it easier and easier to see all the parts of myself as lovable. And I've noticed that some parts are - how do I put it? More unlovable than other parts or more difficult to love than other parts. Some parts - and it's like personality traits I'm talking about - feel more challenging to love. And I'm finding that they are all lovable, but some are more difficult than others. And one that I found in particular... I don't want to call it an ugly part because I'm really working with loving it, but in the first instance when I first see it, it's an ugly part and it's a part that sometimes isn't with me at all and sometimes comes up. And for my clients and business buddies, too, it's sometimes it's there, sometimes it's not. And it's that comparison-itis part where you compare yourself to others and their business or life journey and you're frankly a bit jealous of where they're at that you want to know why you're not there yet. And when you're a heart-centered person who deeply wants to support people or cheer people on in their successes, but you see that part in yourself, which is actually green with envy, that part I find challenging, more challenging, to love. And I wondered if you could speak to that and how we can make it easier for ourselves to embrace and call in that part of ourselves.
Oron: We can and in some ways, it is as though we have pre-scripted this because a couple of weeks ago Medha created a video specifically about this topic; jealousy as it comes up in relationship to money, which is what the course that she is creating is about. There are two conditions present when you experience jealousy, the first condition is that you are realizing that you are seeing something that you wish for yourself. The second condition is that you do not believe that you can have it. When you are able to see something and realize that you want it and you feel 100 percent completely capable of having it, what you feel is inspiration. When you do not feel that that thing is available to you, what you feel is jealousy. And so the jealousy that you feel does not make you a bad person and it is not you secretly wishing that the other person didn't have the thing. That is a defensive mechanism that happens from inside of you only and because deep down, there is a part of you that does not believe that you can have that thing. And so that is valuable and important information. Your jealousy is a messenger. It is letting you know that there are blocks or beliefs or ideas or paradigms or wounds that are present in you currently that do not allow you to move forward to the thing you want with freedom, with joy and ease. Would you not be grateful to a friend who let you know that there is a little bit more work to do for you to achieve your goal in the realm of human relationships? If that is the attitude that you take to your jealousy, that it is a messenger helping you to move forward to what you want with more freedom and more flow, you will not find it ugly and you will not find it hard to love. You will be grateful.
Heather: That's brilliant. And so it's like at the moment when I see or feel that coming up, I am turning to that part and consciously loving it for what it's bringing me. And from what you've just said there, I'm thinking is that enough? Is just loving it enough or is there something else we should do to... or could do to try and identify exactly what the block is?
Oron: If it is 100 percent genuine love, then that is enough. But it is some love and some, "Well, I'm not really that sure about this, I don't really like it. I wish it was going to go away. And so I'm just going to love it so it will leave me alone then that won't heal anything. So one hundred percent genuine love is the elixir. It is the most healing force on the planet. But if you are not in a place - and it is okay if you are not - but if you are not in a place where you can turn to it with complete love, there is some work there to be done also in the realm of self acceptance. Because remind you again that there is no part of you that is bad. There is no part of you that is bad. There is no part of you that is bad. There is no part of you that is bad. There is no part of you that is broken. There is no part of you that is broken. There is no part of you that needs fixing. But all of you thrives on love. Love. Self-love is the biggest resource you can give yourself. And if you imagine yourself completely full to the brim of self-love, what you are is not arrogant. What you are is loving, kind, generous. And from that place of extreme safety, you do the things that feel right for you and they light you up and they live up the world around you. So if you are struggling to love and accept the parts of you, become aware of that. And rather than being in a place of recrimination for your inability to love yourself, love the part of you that cannot love in that instance. Love is always the answer, no matter how many steps back you need to take. The answer is always love.
Heather: And it's interesting because I had a fear the other day about - because I've... I've been working with this stuff about loving the unlovable parts. There's so many, so many different parts - bless them - that come and show themselves to me. And I have found that I have been able to love them and I -
Oron: We wish to interrupt here just to make you mindful of something that you already know. Your words belie your energy. And there are many times where you have said things like the unlovable parts. And so as you express that, that is felt by you. And so we would encourage you, as you know, that your process is one of self acceptance to find language that feels to you energetically appropriate so that as you do this work, you are encouraging yourself with every step and not just every second step. And that, my friend, is where the Internet dropped out completely.
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