Episode 35 – How to assess success: finding my personal definition of success
Updated: Oct 25
In this episode, Oron chat with Trisha about the tendency we have to associate money with success. They talk about how to navigate the road to success and explore the difference between perseverance and stubbornness.
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Success, freedom and money [00:00:19]
Feeling I'm aligned and getting a bad result [00:09:12]
What's the difference between perseverance and stubbornness? [00:13:35]
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Oron: We are here and ready for this expansive conversation. Let's begin.
Trisha: Thank you. My question's about success. I think. We'll see how this goes. I've... I've been trying to come to terms with the idea of success maybe for all my life, but for sure in the last few years consciously. I think, what does that mean to me rather than what have I been taught success is. So that my hope is that I break free of constrained thinking that revolve around the bank balance being the evidence of success in whatever path a person has taken. I grew up in a really conventional conservative household, and my three siblings have all gone on to traditional career paths and I'm an artist. And, while, I went to college and got the degree, soon after that, it was all about, you know, just everything I could create. And I suspect that maybe there's something deeper that needs to be lifted or broken free of in my thinking so that I can re-engage with the passion that seems to have filtered out, stopped flaming for the risk taking. The good kind of risk taking, the the ground breaking, the expansive development of... Of workshops and offerings and touring and teaching and trust in my own creative work. I just, again, I don't want to blame it on money and that bank balance, but... But money is such an important metric. So when the workshop doesn't fill and the bank balance doesn't go up, I judge myself not successful and I question if I need to go down a different path or my... My direction in this creative career has run its course, if I just need to stop all this nonsense of creating beauty and inspiration in the world and get a nine to five job so that that bank balance can be more consistent. I have four children - four boys - who are in their 20s now and into young adulthood and training them up in the world to... To trust their intuition and flow with what turns them on rather than "I have to go get a job" sort of thing is something I've always advocated. But continue to do that without believing it myself or believing it more consistently is tenuous and a little painful. So, yeah, it's about success and how we I -
Oron: We understand and we can feel the truth of what you're saying in your current experience. And there are many ways that we could take our response to what you have said, but we will begin here. We are happy that you understand the connection to the idea of success with what is going on for you presently. The misunderstanding that is currently in place, that is leading you to split your energy and not feel as passionate, as empowered and as whole as what you really are deep down inside is the focus of where you assess. Currently you attempt to assess your success based on metrics, as you describe them, that are in the external world. Whereas we would encourage you to guide your assessments of how you are going and where improvements could be had much more on your inner experience. If you are looking outside of you to tell you how well you are going, constantly what you are doing is ingraining into yourself a level of disempowerment and you need to do the particular dance in the particular way in order to get those people to smile and to say yes to the thing that you're offering to them. Whereas if you are following - and you have done this in the past many times, so it is a skill that you already have. When you are following your true guidance, your true inspiration, which you know comes to you inside of you, it may be in response to something that you see, but it is not derived externally. It is always derived, connected to, discovered inside of you. So as you begin the process of reconnecting to that, that feeling of, "Oh, yes, this feels right to me right now," you will begin to offer workshops and product and art, that is the same vibrational integrity of love, of enthusiasm and people around you will feel that. We are not saying to not be open to feedback, that's an important process. But we would also suggest that you take any feedback that you receive, including from clients, including from friends, including from parents, including from your children. Take the feedback that you receive and do not take it as gospel, but take it inside and again assess it within the bounds of you, within the knowing of you, within the feeling of you, within the intuition of you, so that you become much more self lead, self inspired. And it is because your focus has been external and it has been divided by ideas such as what will breed external success, that it is almost like the flow in the hose comes in spurts now. There is a kink in your hose. But when you straighten out the hose by straightening out your connection to yourself and your divine inspiration, you will never wonder if you should compromise the things that you love in order to achieve what you have felt in the past to be a stifling nine to five job. That idea does not fill your soul with excitement. And so nothing that you do in your life is wrong. You cannot get your life wrong, but you can move towards things that expand you or you can move towards things that contract you. You can move towards things that give you joy or you can move towards things that stifle your joy. And so as we feel into you, we know that what you desire is freedom and joy and the creation of beauty and inspiration, as you described it. But when you superimpose ideas of success that are based on dollars and the external response that you're getting from people, you are at the effect of things that you cannot control. You cannot be empowered in that situation. And money is an incredibly interesting thing on your planet. It is fascinating to Medha, and it is why she filters a lot of the teachings that we have - correction. It is why she takes a lot of the information and energetics that we offer to her through that filter. Money is an incredibly important thing in your planet due to the way your planet's societal structures are currently. Correction: due to the way that your society is currently structured, it is basically impossible for a human being on your planet right now to be completely empowered and in freedom and flow and capable of following their intuitive impulses without the resource that you call money. Money gives you not validation, but it gives you the ability in the external world to manifest the freedom and empowerment that is already within you. And we wish to bring you back to the words that you used to describe your art. You called it creating. You are deeply connected to the fact that you are a creator and that is not just in the realm of art, it is in the realm of your life; the entirety of your life is being created, manifested by you. And as you create in your art sphere where you have trained yourself to receive and flow, if you take that same skill set to the business area, to the teaching area, to the other areas of your life that you already have when you channel through the art - and yes, we will use the word "channel" - when you connect to the inspiration and allow it to flow through, you have trained yourself in this area. It is just that you can expand your usage of that skill.
Trisha: So when roadblocks, disappointments happen, in what I believe is an integral aligned creation, how - instead of putting it through the filter of, "Well then I've failed and where did I go wrong..."
Oron: We will speak to what you are sensing. There are times where you are feeling that you are aligned, but what is actually happening is parts of what you are doing are aligned and parts of you are being already unconsciously put through the filter of "Will this please them? Will they say yes to this?" And in that instance, you are externalizing the guidance. But it is something that has crept up on you slowly over time and more strongly in the recent past that you haven't been aware of. And so as you take your attention to it and your consciousness to it, you will be able to see much more clearly. This does not need to take a long time to uncover, but it takes a level of real honesty with self and real willingness to see the things that haven't been seen before. So you to really get clear on what it is you are aligning with, because currently you have somewhat competing ideas in terms of what will be successful, what will be accepted, what will be said yes to versus what it is that you are deeply inspired to create.
Trisha: I can't help but ask, how do I not become divided? I... Is it... Is it truly just perseverance in returning myself to my interior assessment rather than external? I mean -
Oron: Provided it is done in an expansive, joyous way, yes. But if you are guiding yourself back inwardly by telling yourself that you're an idiot for falling for this again, what you will be doing is contracting your energy. So we will come back to something we repeat regularly: self love, self love, self love, self love, self encouragement, self encouragement, self encouragement, self encouragement. When you are guiding your children, when you are feeling energized and empowered and they attempt something and it does not go the way they expected, you do not say, "You failed," to them. But you are willing to say that to you and what that does is it puts a pressure on you that then creates the desire to not fail again in the future and the pressure continues to escalate and escalate and escalate. But if you consider dealing with yourself the way you would with your children, with your best friend, with people that you deeply care about, the level of encouragement and compassion that you can find for them is huge compared to the level of encouragement and compassion that you offer to yourself. To yourself comes a level of criticism, whereas a level of self-love that is inquisitive about how things could improve is completely energetically different to that energy of, "You failed. You got it wrong. This isn't good enough." Do you feel the difference?
Trisha: Oh, definitely.
Oron: So can you feel that over time the repeated use of you failed, you failed, you failed, you failed gradually builds pressure and pressure and pressure upon your shoulders, which gradually disconnects you from the passion of your art and it makes you not willing to take the risks that you crave to take.
Trisha: Most definitely.
Oron: That is all it is. That is all it is. It is coming back to the love that you feel for the self, the compassion that is underneath all the stuff that you have superimposed on top of it and encouraging yourself forward the exact same way that you encourage your children. Because we will tell you this: you can only encourage your children to pursue something with energetic integrity if you are willing and able to do it for yourself. And if you recriminate yourself, that is not going to be in alignment when you encourage your children to encourage themselves. So we are not saying do this for your children. We are saying do this for you. And the effect of that will be energetic integrity when you encourage them to back themselves and take considered risks.
Trisha: Yes. Yes. So if I can, what's what's the difference between persevering in something and stubbornly holding it?
Oron: The difference is superimposing ideas over discovering what feels true. There are times when - and there is a podcast episode that Medha will link to this, where you can listen in more detail. We have spoken before about the differences between when the universe is redirecting you or when you are discovering an energetic change so that redirection is beneficial versus you hitting your own block. That is something that requires inner knowledge and discernment in order to be able to tell the difference between those two things. Because sometimes you will hit something because your consciousness is trying to show you a block that you already have and not because you should not be pursuing what it is that you are pursuing. But we are not advocates of the "winners never quit and quitters never win" mode of living because that negates your knowing and the fact that the universe is reconfiguring itself in every moment and holding on with stubbornness - although it is idealized a lot by your society in many ways - if it is not aligned with deep connected moment to moment guidance, it can be much more stifling and contractive than expansive and inspiring.
Trisha: That feels good. That feels like I've been hit over the head with the information I needed to hear.
Oron: We like to hit you playfully with energetic pillows just to get the message through.
Trisha: Yes, thank you.
Oron: The reason it feels like this is because you have been ready for this for a while and in this moment, you have completely open to receiving it. So we will remind you of this: we are encouraging you to shift back to what is natural for you, which means it will be much faster than the time and effort it has taken you to disconnect from yourself. It takes a lot more effort to move away from what is natural than it does to move back to what is natural. This does not have to be difficult for you. It will take attention. It will take intention. It will take focus, and it will take some effort. But it does not have to be arduous and it does not have to be difficult. And we will leave you with this: what would I say to my child in this situation? Use that initially as training wheels to help you access the compassion and encouragement that you know is available within you because you offer it freely to others and learn to offer it to yourself. And that is when your world, which is already great, will become awesome because it will be reflecting to you a deep self-love and a deep self support. If you are there for yourself, if you're your own best supporter, if you have your own back, the universe will be a mirror to that. It can only give you what is a mirror of you. And so as you shift that internally, you will shift it externally and you will never again have to wonder if you will fail because you will be connected to yourself and your joy and your passion. And that feels like success. We love you. We love you. We love you. Go well.
Trisha: Brilliant, beautiful.
Medha: Oh, that was good.
Trisha: I don't know how you do that and not that, but how do you sustain that? That is amazingly beautiful.
Medha: It's really easy.
Trisha: I think I'd have to go take a nap.
Medha: No, I feel amazing afterwards, like because it moves through me. Right? So I get to like - I don't just hear the info. It comes through me. I get to feel like a superhuman amount of love in my heart. And then my day is awesome. Like, it's just..
Trisha: I'm glad I could help you start -
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