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  • Medha Murtagh

Episode 31 – Children, screens and mental health

Updated: Oct 25


In this episode, Oron chats with Stephanie about children, screens and mental health issues. They discuss the difficult topics of children self-harming and also talk about the relationship between empowerment and disempowerment in the seeking of healing. Here is Oron and Stephanie.

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Highly sensitive children and screens [00:00:17]

Increasing issues of mental health in children including self-harming [00:03:55]

Is seeking healing from other people disempowering myself [00:13:45]

 

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Links to mentioned resources

  • Stephanie is a spiritual success coach and has published a deck of Parenting Oracle Cards to help guide parents with sensitive children. Check Stephanie's websites here and here


 


















 

Transcript

Oron: We are here and looking forward to this exchange. Let's begin.


Stephanie: The thing that I would like to ask about is the children that have incarnated on planet Earth in the last, say, 10 years or so and something - and I understand that a lot of children are being born with heightened sensory and spiritual awareness. But what I'm really interested in is the evolution of screens and screen time and video games that have sort of paralleled along with these new children and why that is and how, as parents and as adults and carers, that we can best support them.


Oron: The best way to support them is to not fight against or push against them. There is absolutely an evolution happening in consciousness and on the earth and with humanity at present. That is something that initially looks and feels a little heavy and contractive. But the long term trajectory of it is not contractive. It is rather expansive. There are some issues in terms of addictions and screens, and we will say that withdrawing from the presence of the physical environment, which we can feel some discomfort around, but we wish to soothe you with this. There are ways that the Internet is amazing, extraordinary, helpful, beautiful. There are ways that it is not. And it is the same with most of the things on your planet. There are views that you can take to all of it that are expansive or contractive. The way that a lot of your Internet works in terms of connections is a very good model of how it is that the universe, in fact, actually works. This is connected to that. That is connected to that. The way that you are able to follow connections down what you call "rabbit holes" is very similar to the energetics of your planet, in that nothing is disconnected, everything is connected. There is more heightened sensitivity in your children. That is a gift, a beautiful gift that, like the evolution of a sensitive adult, there is a process in terms of learning to harness it in ways that are helpful for the individual and the collective. And so as the more sensitive ones come in, you are wise to be mindful of the impact on things on them. But we encourage you to be very mindful of what you are responsible for and what you are not responsible for in terms of those children. And they are deeply sensitive and they can feel your resistance to and your fighting against things in ways that are much more subtle than what you might otherwise perceive. The way of encouragement, the way of flow, the way of love, the way of affinity is going to be much more beneficial for these very, very sensitive souls than the way of restriction and block and fighting and pushing against. There is flow that is available, even when it comes to dealing with your children's screen time, that is supported by a level of communion and intimacy with them. So that if you are able to inspire them to other activities that are beneficial in terms of being out in nature and exposed to more expansive energies, that is beneficial and helpful. But we invite you to not consider things in general, problems to be pushed against or fought against, because that never leads you to the expansive flow that it is that you deeply seek.


Stephanie: The mental health issues in young people have exploded. How can we best support them through that? I'm interested in your perspective. I have my own ideas about why that might be. So why... Why is it - why are so many young people, teenagers, self harming and experiencing extreme anxiety and other issues? And how can we best support them with that?


Oron: We understand that it looks to you as though things are getting worse. And we will say something that may be somewhat difficult to accept, but we will offer it to you and have a conversation around it. What is actually happening at present is that things that have been buried in the consciousness of individuals in the collective in humanity for a long period of time are coming up. They are being seen and witnessed and perceived as problems because, of course, you see beautiful, innocent children harming themselves as a problem. We understand this, but the transition that is happening with humanity is not about contracting. It is not about limiting your ability to foster your own mental health. The deepest support that you can offer to these children is initially allowing yourself a space of openness and self encouragement and self-love and then being that for them. They benefit greatly from having mirrors around them that mirror to them their amazing expansive awesomeness, their ability to interact with themselves in the world in ways that are beneficial and practical and not just emotional. Practical and emotional support is best provided from a place of - again, we will say it again - not fighting the existence of what is present in the moment. That does not mean not working towards more. That means allowing yourself to be where you are, allowing humanity to be. Whether it is allowing the child that you see in front of you in experiencing some pain to be where they are and then love them through it. Allow them to see you as a place in which they are safe and able to commune and communicate without any pressure. The subtlety within these beings is so deep. It is so deep that if they see you looking at them as a problem, that has an energetic impact. Now, we are not saying that you need to be perfect in this and that you need to worry about your interaction in case you mirror there being a problem to them. Because that is creating within yourself the same dynamic that you are actually attempting to help them to heal. This is a deep healing. When you go through physical healings, you sometimes describe something as a healing process. This is a symptom of the healing process that is currently being undergone by humanity. We understand that it is difficult. We understand that it is painful. We understand all of that. But also know that at the core, at the core is always love, always self-love, always expansion. So if you are able to connect into that and be a mirror to that for the children around you without seeing them as problems whilst holding the vision of who they really are, which is empowered, which is playful, which is light and being a beacon of hope for them, that is the best way to support them.


Stephanie: So the the so-called downturn in mental health is actually, a sign that things are going to improve. The universe is always in a constant path of expansion. The universe is always on a constant path to expansion. There is also independent free will for each of the individuals here. But the general trajectory for humanity is one of expansion. And there is a choice that is being made in the most subtle, energetic realm by each of the individuals present in terms of how much they will open to the expansion. And we know that this is difficult to hear and difficult to accept, particularly when it comes to children. But again, they are much more powerful than they appear. The fact that they haven't developed the mental capacity yet, that, you know, that they will reach with their minds in terms of adulthood does not make them less powerful creators than you. You are not more powerful than them when it comes to that. And so helping them, helping them by modeling and by showing and by discussing and being open to the difficulties of emotion being experienced and then being moved through. Something that is very prevalent currently, again, in humanity, is the idea that you need to protect your children from pain. And of course, you feel that you want to protect your children from pain, but there is no way to prevent them from having the experiences that they are having on this planet. The path for best support is to cushion them in the space of acceptance, open communication and not making the emotions that they feel that are what you consider negative, not making them wrong so that you are helping them to learn to not fight themselves in the way that most adult humans are fighting themselves in their negative emotions now. Deep down, you know that you should feel good. Deep down, you know that your children should feel good. That makes it very tempting to make the negative experiences wrong. But that is a contractive energy and it pulls you away from the expansiveness that is available and is a potential in every experience that you are having. And so, know... Know that there is love, there is support, there is expansion. So much more than what is available to your naked human eye. And know that resources are available for everybody. There is a process of supporting people in opening up to the receiving of those support, but that is not even your job. Because inside of all of you is a knowing. There is a turning towards that knowing that right now it looks to you that people are not doing. But this is also a part of the process. Really looking at what is present, bringing it to the fore is a fantastic way of clearing things out and enabling more growth, more expansion, more love, more lightness, more playfulness, more joy. But allowing your children to see and supporting them and accepting the fact that negative emotions are not wrong is an incredibly important part of the process that is happening now, and it's a very important doorway for them to walk through, because the more they feel that their negative emotions are wrong, the more they will try to shut them down. The more they try to shut them down, the more they disconnect from themselves. The more they disconnect from themselves, the less they connect to you and others. And the less connected they are, the less whole they feel. Even though they can never lose their wholeness but their experience can be one of disconnection. We are not saying that you need to encourage them to behave in ways that match their negative emotions or their challenging emotions. But learning to embrace them and work with them, particularly at a young age, particularly when they are deeply sensitive, is going to be an instrumental part in them living the empowered, joyful lives that are available to them.


Stephanie: What is the purpose of negative emotions for humans?


Oron: To let you know what is actually going on for you. To let you know where you are out of alignment, to let you know where you have created beliefs and understandings about what is possible for yourself and your planet that are not aligned with what the actual possibilities are for you, they are not your enemy. They are your friend, in that they give you clues and energetic breadcrumbs as to what is happening on the internal plane, because that is where your creative power lies. Your creative power does not lie in trying to force the universe into a different configuration. Your creative power lies in aligning within yourself to the things that are calling you energetically. And when you are experiencing those negative emotions, it is because there are parts of you that need to be - don't need to be. There are parts of you that if you wish to create the things that you want, require attention, integration, love and healing. There is no part of you that is bad. There is no part of you that is less than. But sometimes when those parts of you are feeling, fearing, doubting, experiencing what you consider negative emotions, you wish to disconnect from them. You make them wrong and disconnect from them. And that creates the ripple effect of disconnection that we spoke of earlier. But you are never disconnected. You are always whole and perfect, but your experience can be of disconnection and that leads to a whole lot of energetic and therefore physical consequences. But you are always connected deep down and you always have experiences of it. It's just that you give those experiences less credence often than you do to the experiences of disconnection or faux disconnection, as we will call it.


Stephanie: In terms of reaching out to other humans for healing, sometimes some people talk about really that we... We all only have the power to heal ourselves and we shouldn't disempower ourselves by reaching out to other people for healing. And sometimes I felt shame about needing other people to help me to move through trauma or processes when I sort of feel like I should be able to find all the answers within me.


Oron: Medha has had a long journey with the same process that you discuss in terms of her work in the facilitations and supporting healing of others. She has experienced many times in her life a deep disempowerment where she has given her power away to others and she has had to work deeply to work out, to uncover, to dislodge some beliefs in herself so that she could come to a place where she felt like what her role was, was to be supportive in the transformation of others. There is no shame in choosing to use your stove to create a flame in order to cook your dinner. There is no shame in using tools of any kind. The facilitation, the support of healing by another can be an extraordinarily powerful and helpful tool for you, just as the more mundane tools that you use regularly in your life are able to do. The question here lies in empowerment versus disempowerment and Medha had a conversation with someone just yesterday about this very topic. The facilitation of healing is much more profoundly impacting when the person receiving the healing is in some way involved in the process, because we would encourage you to not build a level of dependence. However, support is invaluable. Seeking support is invaluable because you know what? The reality is that you are so deeply supported and you are often guided to the healers, teachers, guides that will support you best in your work. It is ineffective to deny yourself supports that are available because you want to do it on your own in terms of your connectedness to the universe and the whole. The healers that work best for you are the ones that already see you as powerful and help you to connect to that level. And every one of you is deeply, deeply powerful. But it is also very easy for you to get lost in the experience that you are experiencing. And some clarity can be deeply helpful when it is provided from a place of empowering you rather than disempowering you and creating a level of dependence. So healers, teachers, coaches that work with you in order to reconnect you to your own power, that ultimately see you already as powerful and want to help you to experience yourself in that way, they are invaluable and deep support and you are cold towards them because they are being energetically drawn to you, because they are a solution for you - not a solution. They are an incredible support for you in uncovering that solution. But we will tell you this: a healer cannot heal you if you are not energetically co-creating that healing experience for you. You are always a part of you. That is why people say that no one can heal you. No one can heal you, because they cannot do it without your cooperation, your energetic, subtle cooperation. And so no one comes and heals you anyway. But the point that you are making in your question subtlety is about empowerment versus disempowerment. And you yourself, with your inner discernment and your inner guidance, can feel into whether you are moving towards a healer from a place of empowerment or a place of disempowerment. And you can also feel whether that healer is going to be working from a place of attempting to empower you or make you dependent on them. That is quite easy for the sensitive ones of you, for all of you, as you are all sensitive to discern that for yourself. And if you feel yourself being moved towards a healer or any tool at all from a place of disempowerment, that does not necessarily mean that they are the wrong option for you. But we would encourage you to do the inner work for yourself first to reclaim your empowerment before you make your appointment. You are incredibly powerful. You are incredibly supported. And those two things are not mutually exclusive. Seeking support is not being disempowered.


Stephanie: And I can see a parallel there with carers of children where when you do want to help them, then - just paraphrasing also what you said before, but then tying it into that answer to that question as well - I'm just noticing it to come... When we are supporting them, to come with that... that Philosophy of that the children are powerful and within themselves. And so to support them from that point of view rather than, "Oh, they're children. They're helpless. They're powerless. They need us to fix everything for them."


Oron: The best gift that you can give to someone is your love, your attention and your knowing of them as powerful. If you interact with those that you love and those that you work with from that place, you call that forward from them, because deep down within themselves, no matter how mired in pain or confusion they may be, they know that deep down. And as you hold that vibration - there are parables about Jesus in terms of Jesus's ability to be able to see the wholeness in people and that may manifest in the moment. You are all capable of influencing incredible amounts of healing both within yourself and within others. But if you come to it from a place of responsibility, if you come to it from a place of "they need to me," what you are actually doing is seeing them as disempowered and then you are a beacon for more of that, which is already active within them. It is not your job to fix anybody. It is not your job to heal anybody. But working with them, allowing them to work with you, being supported in the co-creation of a healing experience is one of the most delicious and delightful experiences that you can have. It allows you to feel your deep connection with self and with others, and that is what was intended for you. You all deserve all of the good things. You all deserve to feel the actual reality that lives inside of you right now, in this moment and in all moments that you are how you are perfect. And everyone around you is also -even when it looks as though they are behaving in ways that indicate that they are not. That is always on the surface of their perfection and their divinity. And the more that you can get down to that level in your interactions with them, the deepest level of who they really are - which is powerful, lovable, worthy, joyous - that is what you helped to call forward from them and also from yourself. And that is when life gets magical and joyous; when you free them to be them and see them as powerful and whole, you are a beacon to that. We love you. We love you. We love you. Go well.


Medha: That one felt a bit different than normal. How did you go?


Stephanie: Good.



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