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  • Medha Murtagh

Episode 28 – Self-worth blocks, abundance and establishing a meditation practice

Updated: Oct 25


In this episode, Oron chat with Christina about overcoming money blocks and building abundance. They also discuss how to cultivate a meditation practice that doesn’t include forcing yourself to meditate. Here’s Oron and Christina


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Clearing up money blocks to self-worth [00:00:17]

How do I use my imagination to create abundance [00:03:35]

Creating a meditation practice without force [00:05:26]


 

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Transcript


Oron: We are here and ready. What would you like to chat about today?


Christina: I feel like one of my biggest woundings around my own money story is around the story of value and my beliefs about my lack of worth. I’m curious about different modalities that I’ve worked with that are about removing or transforming limiting beliefs. And I’ve had some success transforming some more superficial limiting beliefs about myself but I’m curious about what do you feel is the most effective way to really transform inner limiting beliefs about our self-worth?


Oron: The one thing that we would recommend to people that have energetics sort of similar to those that we feel within you is to connect into the fact that you have a big, loving, kind, compassionate heart. And, at least, initially when you are entrenched in a mode of motivating yourself with avoiding the bad rather than encouraging the good within yourself – which is also what we can feel is active – it can be helpful to channel your self development efforts through the filter of what you would say to a friend; a friend that you love, a friend that you admire, a friend that you care about deeply. And we would encourage you to imagine that you are having a conversation with a friend that you care about deeply and they are sharing with you their fears. They’re sharing with you their doubts. They are sharing with you their pain. You would not turn to your friend and go, “Come on. Just stop it.” If you were in a loving kind of place of being open, you would go, “Sweetheart, why do you feel that way? What’s going on underneath? What is happening there for you?” And you would find ways to be there for your friend in an emotionally open and nurturing space. You have that ability. You have that ability. You have that ability. You have that ability. It is not something that you must learn how to do. There is just more momentum in being critical of the self in order to encourage the self to expand then there is of encouraging the self with deep, deep love. So we would encourage you to also realize that whether or not you are connected to it, that deep, deep love is there and it shows up any time that you are outraged when you are not met with what you expect, when you are not treated in the ways that feel right to you. When you feel not prioritized, when you feel not valued, when you feel those things, there are parts of you that become angry. And the reason they become angry is because those parts of you expect you to be treated well because they believe that you deserve to be treated well, because they believe in your worth. And so we are not saying that the anger is something that you should use against others in order to demand that they meet your emotional needs. But we are guiding you towards an experiential knowing that within you, you already love you. You humans can make the journey to self-love so difficult and complicated when in fact it is never so. It is just in uncovering is what of what is already there and present. So as we guide you to connect into that anger that arises sometimes when you feel disrespected or not taken care of or prioritized, that is the pathway to reconnecting to the sense of self-love that is already there and present for you.


Christina: You made reference in a previous podcast episode about how Medha was trying to create a partnership. And in doing so, she first visualized herself as being whole and complete first, and then she had like an imaginary relationship that she created to help her to feel whole and complete. I’m curious about what would that look like for the case of lack of money, specifically. Like would the relationship to money, be a thing? A person?


Oron: It can be. And if you’ve listened to any of the meditations and energy practice that Medha has created, that is one way. She encourages you to connect into the energy of money and have a conscious relationship with it. And she also uses the example of human relationships in order to elucidate the really important points about what a conscious relationship is like. If you have a relationship with a human, you do not expect to just demand things from them, to kind of like them and to kind of hate them simultaneously and have them meet your needs. You know that that is not a productive way of conducting a relationship. But that is how many of you interact with money. You like it and you don’t like it simultaneously, and you want it to give you freedom, empowerment, security. When they are currently things that you are not creating within the boundaries of yourself for yourself. So it is not efficient to expect the universe to provide you with things that you are not willing. And there is a choice involved, even though some of you do not believe that there is. There is always a choice. If you are not willing to do the work required to find that sense of safety within yourself, it is ineffective to expect that the universe is going to give you something external that is going to prompt that emotion from within you.


Christina: I’m curious about meditation. Meditation is something that I know would be valuable to have in my life as a regular practice. But I’ve really struggled to integrate it without forcing it. I can’t seem to develop the practice of meditation without the energy of forcing it. And I’m also curious about are different forms of meditation more effective than others? There’s all this information about training your brain for specific brain waves, that kind of thing. Can you speak to this topic?


Oron: The meditation that is most effective for you is the meditation that works for you. So there is no prescription that we would provide in terms of this kind of meditation is better and that one is worse. It is the one that suits and fits you. And going deeper than that, that may change for you at different times. And when you are in different energetic configurations. And we will speak to the idea of forcing. The best thing that made it ever did for her meditation practice was to have a break for three months. She noticed the same pattern in herself, that she was forcing herself to meditate. And there was a heaviness and a rigidity and a lack of flow that was associated with it. And so she chose she chose to stop. And it was in a period of not meditating in that three month period of not meditating that she became aware – she naturally noticed – that when she wasn’t meditating, she was a lot more reactive. She was a lot less grounded. She had less access to her own wisdom. She felt different in a way that did not feel as good to her as what she did feel when she was meditating. And the meditation then felt as though it was calling her in an encouraging, gentle, open way. And she has ever since meditated nightly. She feels like she wants to. It is not an act of force. And so we would encourage you to dive deep into what the resistance to the meditation is and if there are other ways to do it. Sometimes Medha’s meditation is a dance. She will put on some tribal, in particular, music and move her body in unstructured ways. And she is connected to the body and the physical experience and mindful of her movement. She often meditates sitting down afterwards, but sometimes she does not. And so we would encourage you, with everything, to find what works for you, to find what works for you and try your best to not superimpose rigid rules about what you should and shouldn’t be doing. But instead uncover what it feels best for you to do. And if there is resistance to that, again, sit and chat as though you were chatting to a friend and go, “So why do you think that you don’t make the time, prioritize?” In a casual, informal way, you can communicate with the aspects of yourself that you are sometimes rejecting or sometimes ignoring or sometimes not even aware that they are present. But when you turn to them with an inquiring attitude, with an attitude of love, rather than holding a stick that is going to beat them if they dare to show up, you want to encourage all the aspects of you to communicate with you about what it is that they are feeling. Because something that is little understood by humanity at present is that you can have two opposite beliefs running simultaneously. You can have two opposite feelings running simultaneously, and that does not make you unstable. What it makes you is human. And as you open up to the fact that none of those parts of you are wrong, because currently the parts of you that feel scared or in doubt or what you would consider negative emotions, they are often silenced by you in the form of using affirmations to positive your way out of it. And that means that what is actually happening is there is a repression of the aspects of you that actually need attention, that actually need healing. Medha talks about the two wings of the bird. It is deeply important in personal development work to, A, come at it with self acceptance, come at it with self acceptance, come at it with self acceptance rather than the rejection of your self or how you are showing up. Personal growth efforts that incorporate massive amounts of self assessment, self acceptance are the most productive kinds. But in your work, in your work of connecting to yourself and creating your expansion, it is deeply important that you focus on both wings of the bird. One wing is clearing the crap, as Medha calls it. It is dealing with the blocks. It is looking at the parts of you that are not feeling love, that are feeling like they are unsafe, that are feeling like they are not worthy. And when you find them, heap the love onto them that they are seeking. That is how you heal yourself, clearing the crap is one wing of the bird. But if all you do is clear the crap, you get heavy and stagnant and serious and there is no fun in that. It is compressing of your energy rather than expansive of it. The other wing of the bird is to create awesome, build the awesome. And the creating of the awesome, the aspect of building it is connecting into the things about you that you do already love. Creating daydreams that you deliciously enjoy and relax into the experience of. Affirmations fall into this category and they can be incredibly powerful. But if all you are doing is building the awesome without doing any of the clearing of the crap, you are again flying with only one wing of the bird and you go around in circles. It is deeply important to do both because that is when productive personal growth comes. And if it is all housed within a framework of self acceptance, if you don’t beat yourself when you find that you could have done something better, but instead go, “Oh, that’s a fabulous lesson for me. How fabulous. Go me.” That is when those aspects of you will want to show themselves to you will want to share with you what they are really thinking and feeling because they will feel that it is safe to do so. You need to build a feeling of safety inside yourself if you ever want to feel safe. And safety is the precursor to allowing yourself to connect into that deep level of self-worth that we were speaking about previously. It is all already inside you. It is all already inside you. It is all already inside of you. There is just a reconnection process that is at play. And the more that you play about, for and with the recreation process, the lighter the whole energy of it is. And you are moving towards lightness. The only reason you want anything is because you want to expand. And the reason for that is because expansion is your natural nature. Anything else feels restrictive and you wish to cut the shackles and free yourself. But the way you do that is by not rejecting yourself, by finding the parts of you that are rejecting you and rather than rejecting them, loving them. And you will forget and then you will remember. And when you remember, that is the opportunity to do some more of the loving on self. Even if you have forgotten for months and months and months have gone back into the beating yourself into expansion attempt, the moment that you discover that you have, if you can access love then instead of continuing the pattern of beating yourself up, that is how you reclaim your self-worth. You reclaim your connection to your self-worth because you have never actually lost it. You deserve every good thing. You deserve it all. There is nothing that you do that increases your worth or your deservingness because it is already at maximum. It cannot expand. Everything can expand, but it cannot be added to. Even though you are at maximum, you will continue to expand. But our point is that nothing is missing. Nothing is missing. You are not broken. Nothing is missing. You are not broken. You deserve all the good things. And you have got support and you have got love and it lives inside of you. And as you unleash it, it will be mirrored back to you by the external world. We love you. We love you. We love you. Go well.


Medha: Oh God. I move around so much now when I do them.


Christina: It’s a good workout.


Medha: Yeah, and my spine’s doing this weird thing where I’ve lost my ability to rotate it. Like that as far as I can go. And that’s as far as I can go. I’ve got a physical thing. So when it’s like spinning around – I’ll stop the recording.




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