Episode 26 – I don’t wanna be disappointed: what to do about obstacles and blocks
Updated: Feb 28
In this episode, Oron chat with Deb about the REAL reason we try so hard to avoid disappointment. They also explore the role of regret and how to let it go and conclude with a deep dive into what signs from the universe really are and what to do when we hit blocks and obstacles.
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Trying to avoid disappointment [00:05:55 ]
Regret and letting it go [00:11:23]
Signs from the universe [00:14:45]
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Oron: We are here and ready.
Debs: Hello, Oron, thanks for having me again. And I would like to first, as well, thank you for the first encounter. It was very healing and it really changed a lot for me. So immense gratitude for that.
Oron: We wish to interrupt before you go on to the next question, because there is something that is important, but sometimes humans dismiss it quite quickly or don’t appreciate it in a way that builds the energy of it. So we wish to bring that to your attention. We are amazing and powerful and we can direct energy and help your energy to move when you are open to it. But we and Medha cannot heal you. No one outside of you is capable of healing you. What they can be is a supporting structure, a comforting cocoon, or an impetus for a process that you do internally. So we acknowledge that we were of assistance in helping you facilitate your own healing. But the primary point of that sentence, the point that matters, the point that we would draw your attention to is facilitate your own healing. So that same gratitude that you just gave to us, we wish to be a mirror of it so that you can access it for yourself because you, dear one, did the healing.
Debs: Thank you for making this point. And it was said in the spirit that you were the impetus or the initiator that is that’s help me start my process. And so –
Oron: We understand and we love being the catalyst for that. But it is also important in the reclaiming of your own power that each and every one of you is really deeply clear about you being the creator. So we are a mirror of you for you. And it’s fun.
Debs: Thank you. So the first time we spoke, I was grieving because my dear pet died. And I don’t know if it’s becoming a pattern – hope not. Now we speak and a couple of weeks ago, my friend passed suddenly. And I think I’ve been dealing with grief and it’s very different when it’s a human and it’s kind of unexpected. But there are things I would like to bring up in regards to regrets. Because we had plans to do some work together and and when she invited me last year, I said, “No, I’m not ready.” And now, obviously, those things will never be. So I do have regrets because I probably said, “No, I’m no ready,” out of fear of growing and expansion. And could you speak to regrets and saying no and then regretting it because people are not always here, as we assume there will be.
Oron: People are not always here in the human form, but they are always here for you and available in their energetic form. So if you expand your consciousness, you will be able to see and feel the presence of your friend. They haven’t left. They haven’t gone anywhere. And it may be that the form of the work that you do together is quite different to what you had envisaged when she was in the physical. But it is also entirely possible for her to be a support for you as you go forward. Her energy can be infused into what it is that you are doing going forward. Your question was about the emotion of regret and there is never an emotion that you experience that is there for no reason. You are never self sabotaging. You are never trying to limit yourself for no reason. There are parts of you that are trying to keep you safe, given whatever it is that they believe to be true. They are attempting to guide you into what they consider is the best thing for you. So the gold that lies in regret isn’t in continuing to punishing – correction. Isn’t in continuing to punish yourself for having made the wrong choice, because the truth – the deep, energetic core truth is that there is no wrong choice.
There is no wrong choice. There is no wrong choice. Wrong choice assumes that there is one choice that you have to find and make. The world does not work like that. The universe does not work like that. And opportunities come to you again and again and again and again. Even though they may be in different forms. There is no regret that your friend in spirit is now feeling for the decision that you make. The gold available in regret is that you can now look back at that situation and in hindsight fee into what it was that you were feeling. Realize that quite possibly it was a fear. And you can choose to be more mindful and conscious of your decisions going forward. But nothing went wrong. Nothing was wrong. There was nothing that needs to be rectified. There was nothing that should have happened that didn’t. As you allow yourself to let that go and get the gold, which is the learning to be conscious in your decision making process and really honest with yourself about your motivations for a yes or no, that is the gold. You can let go of the regret. You do not have to keep it alive or active in you as insurance to make sure that you don’t make a mistake in the future. Regret is a signpost of something that requires some attention. It is a gift.
Debs: Thank you. I guess the next question that kind of follows up on that is the fear of disappointment. So regrets the past and the fear of disappointment in the future. I don’t know how you view 2020 and now 2021, but there is lots of uncertainty. And what I’m sitting with is I would love to make goals or – as humans, we tend to make goals, especially around New Year’s time – and to work towards something. And and you touched about feeling… Our need to feel safe. And I know that there is this big part of that, a fear of disappointment that if I said that go for something because I’d like to start a study, but I have no way of knowing whether I will be able to do that. I do feel called to do this kind of work, to expand further. And yet I don’t know where I’ll be in September. So I’m really afraid to be disappointed if it’s like, “Okay, in September, I’m starting this,” and it won’t happen. Again, there is this fear of like… So on the other hand, why bother making plans? And I don’t know if I should be just drifting and making a positive visualization towards the goal like… you know.
Oron: There is a lot that we could say in response and we will begin here: part of the reason that you are very reluctant to open yourself up to disappointment, part of the reason that you are trying to avoid the feeling of disappointment is because deep down, you are worried that you are not powerful enough or capable enough to achieve the things that you want. And the fear is that if you don’t achieve it, that disappointment will be evidence of your lack of power. You will prove to yourself that you are not, in fact, capable. And so it is safer for you to not make goals because then you cannot prove to yourself your inability to achieve them. Disappointment is just an emotion. Disappointment cannot actually hurt you. But it is when you attribute a meaning to that disappointment about what is and is not possible for you and about what you are and are not capable of that you then try and avoid it and therefore close doors of possibility for you. We will share with you Medha’s journey with goal setting. She used to be someone who set goals and then worked really hard to achieve them. And as she has evolved in this work over the last few decades and has realized that when you try to push the universe, all you get is push back, she stopped setting goals she wanted to allow rather than trying to force things into being. But we have been working with her and she has been working with this herself in that there are the – correction. Not the right balance. The aligned balance comes when you have focus, intention and desire. You take aligned, inspired action and you allow. That is the trifecta of goal setting. So initially, when Medha was rigid and pushing, there was no space for allowing. When she was in a space of deep allowing and not setting goals and allowing the universe to provide amazing things, she was deeply in a state of allowing, but not in a state of focused intention and focused intention, builds the energy of amazing, awesome things.
We remind you that you only want things because they’re energetically aligned to you. They’re calling you because they are meant for you. You can feel the resonance of them. It is why you feel like you are being moved towards them. And so when you can be clear and honest with yourself about what it is that you want without putting limits over the top of it, without making your desires smaller so that it feels safer. When you can be really clear and honest with yourself about what it is that you want, create a playful focus, enjoy the deliciousness of – you, said visualization. If that works for you and it feels good and it feels light and it feels like you’re not trying to force the universe into a particular configuration, if you can stay light with it, that is a delicious space to be. It is why you all daydream. Daydreaming is energetic precreation. It is delightful, delicious, and it is powerful. But when you are attempting to force the universe into a configuration, it creates restriction, it creates rigidity, and we only ever try to control when you don’t really, truly feel as though your needs will be met or the things will be achieved. So if you can combine your intention, your attention, your desire, your inspired action and your state of detachment and allowing this or something better, this or something better, this or something better. So that space is there for something better, for something else, for something that is different than you expected, but an energetic match to it. That’s when goal setting becomes a magic carpet that carries you forward to the things that you want.
Debs: I like the idea of magic carpets. And who doesn’t like to fly? So you touched on – and I had another question about you mentioned alignment and – I wonder about there there are certain things that the like and there is… Some things appear as a sign, what we see as a sign that this feels right. And I just wonder about the difference between seeing – interpreting something as a sign, as a wishful thinking thinking, or it’s really aligned. How to differentiate between the two.
Oron: You can interpret anything as a sign. And there are ways of having signs be empowering and helpful and there are ways of having signs be disempowering. If what you are interpreting universal signs to be is the universe, the creator, God, something bigger than me, something more powerful than me, is telling me I should do this – which is how a lot of people interpret signs. It is as though something outside of themselves is giving them the go ahead. That is ultimately disempowering. But if you understand that you actually are the universe and you are giving yourself signs, you reclaim the ability to be the powerful one who gives and receives them. There are signs everywhere because the universe is a carefully calibrated being.
Everything is a reflection. And so everything that you look at can be interpreted as a sign. There are two people standing next to each other looking at the exact same things in the exact same situation. And one person may perceive what they see as a sign and the other person may not. So it is a personal journey, but we would encourage you to play with this. You are the sign. You are the sign. Do not say, “If I’m supposed to do this, I need someone outside of me to tell me yes.” That is a disempowered way of engaging with the universe. If you trust your feeling, if you see something and it feels like it lights you up inside of you, if it gives you an experience and a feeling, that’s you being the reader of the sign, you being the powerful one that is seeing what is present and interpreting it within the boundary of yourself, within yourself. That is how to play with signs.
Debs: Thank you. That’s [Inaudible]. I wonder –
Oron: There was nothing outside of you telling you you must do this, you must not do this. There is no right way. There is no wrong way. It is all a game. It is all exploration. It is all you uncovering how you work and learning to work with yourself in productive, playful, joyful, nourishing, self encouraging ways. The universe is your friend. The universe is you. It is not separate to you. There is no one that you have to please in order to be granted access to the things that you want.
Debs: So how about the what people perceive as obstacles. For example, lack of finances or like lockdowns now, when we really can’t go places?
Oron: Everything that occurs is in some way a mirror reflection of what is going on inside of you, and you can interpret that as an external restriction that is being enforced upon you.
Oron: But that is the same as seeing signs as being the universe or something more powerful than you telling you what you can and can’t do. Within every situation, you can find the feeling of freedom. You can find the feeling of choosing, you can find the feeling of self empowerment. And Medha herself had some difficulty with this initially when she was in that state of lockdown and she realized that it wasn’t working for her to use the word lockdown because it made her feel like she was in prison. So she began to call it her home retreat. I am on home retreat. Sometimes I would really love to be able to cancel things and stay home in my pajamas and do the things that I want without any feeling of pressure to do anything else. And she then began to really deeply, thoroughly enjoy her home retreat. So within every circumstance, when something happens, if you feel powerless, that is evidence that within you there are parts of you that feel powerless and it would behoove you to encourage them, to work with them to uncover why you feel deeply powerless. Everything is a reflection. And so, as you interpret it as good or bad, you have feelings that go along with that. And if what you are experiencing feels good to you, the thing is a mirror reflection of what is going on inside of you that already feels good to you. Great. Enjoy it. If what you are seeing is making you feel feelings that are less than good, less than what you wish for yourself, they are always signs that there is something for you to look at, to play with, to heal, to release, to integrate so that you can feel empowered. Because you are. You are. You are. You ultimately always are. You are not a small being at the affect of life. But if you perceive yourself to be that, that is what your experience will be. But that is an illusion. You are infinitely powerful and capable of creating amazing things in your life and in your world. And as you feel disempowered, you limit your ability to deeply enjoy the powerful, conscious creation of life that you planned for yourself. So when you see obstacles, they are not being imposed upon you, even though it looks like they are. It may look like they are. They are an opportunity for you to know, to deeply know how you really feel, what you really think, what is really going on inside of you and how much power you influence. Not power – not dominance, but power of of influence of self and your environment. How much are you really deeply connected to the fact that you are divine, amazing, powerful. All of the things that you wish and crave to be, you already are them. So when you hit an obstacle and it feels like a block, it’s a massive opportunity for you to see what’s really there and to address it so that the block can dissolve and you can move forward to the next level of awesome.
And the next level of awesome and the next level of awesome. Because that is what is intended for you and that is what you intended. And it is what is more than possible for you. More than possible. It does not have to be hard. It does not have to be hard. It does not have to be hard. It does not have to be hard. It does not have to be hard. But when you see obstacles as things outside of you blocking you, that is going to feel hard. But if you feel that it’s hard, if you feel that there are obstacles, you can transform that by looking deep within and uncovering what it is that that circumstance is there to show you. Work with it. Love the part of you that has the feelings that you consider negative. Find out what they need and give it to them. And as you learn to be someone who is deeply there for you in that way, deeply accepting of self under all circumstances, deeply supportive of you, nourishing of you, you will come to know yourself as someone whose needs are met, someone who is prioritized and someone who is deeply supported and loved. Because you are. You are. You are. We love you, we love you, we love you. Go well.
Medha: Did that go for ages?
Debs: I think this was a shorter one. It was intense.
Medha: They can get a bit Intense.
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