Episode 100 – Let's talk about sex, baby!: sex, orgasm and spirituality
Updated: Feb 28
Sex orgasm and spirituality:expanding consciousness through sex.
There is a lot of talk now in spiritual circles about sacred sex. So is sex a pathway to connecting to God?
And what about climaxing? Is there a spiritual purpose to orgasm? Are orgasms for spiritual evolution really a thing?
Sex as spirituality can seem like a complex topic. But it doesn’t have to be.
This channelled message about spiritual sex will help you understand how to use sex as a spiritual practice, even if you’re single - without making it complicated, or even overly serious.
If you’ve been wondering about sex after awakening, and if a conscious sex life is on your to-do list (whether with someone or solo), this episode will give you insight into how to make that happen in a light but powerfully aligned way.
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Sex as a spiritual practice (starts at 00:03:15)
How can we learn to express ourselves in sexual moments (starts at 00:12:13)
What is the purpose of orgasm (starts 00:16:12)
Are people not in romantic relationship missing out on the practice of sacred sex? (starts at 00:21:17)
Medha chats with Mel (starts at 00:23:50)
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Oron: We are here and ready. And before we invite you to ask your playful question, we will share with you some of the experience that Medha had in trying to connect in with us today.
She spoke to you before hitting the record button about the shock that she experienced and the destabilizing impact that had on her and her feeling that she was wondering how this is going to go, as she said, given that she was still processing something that was quite energetically impactful for her.
And when she connected in with herself, which is what she does before she gets ready to connect in with us and invite us into the space. When she was doing that, she was surprised to discover that she felt as though her body was bigger than she's used to it feeling. There is a process that she and many of you are currently undergoing of starting to connect much more profoundly to the more expanded versions and aspects of you.
And when we say more profoundly, we mean that your experience is becoming more conscious. Medha has been doing some really profound work of late in terms of clearing some of the profound issues that she had experienced within herself through her growing up phases. She had what humans consider a very difficult childhood and that created in her a sense of lack of safety.
So she has been doing some profound work to re-anchor to the feeling of safety inside of herself. And one of the things that allows both her and any of you that build that sense of safety within the self is the possibility to expand beyond the limit of your body when it comes to the expansion of your consciousness. And so Medha had trouble when she sat down to connect in with herself, differentiating actually, between the physical experience she was having in her body as limited by the end of her skin and the end of her more energetic aspect - so her aura. She was having difficulty discerning because she was just as connected to the energetic as she usually has trained herself to be to the physical.
And so as you all take the time to look at the things that are making you feel unsafe and understand that the power for you does not necessarily lie in controlling those other things that are making you feel unsafe. But -correction. But rather looking at the mechanisms that are currently active within you so that the inner safety that resides at the core of you can come more to the surface and more to your experience. One of the delightful things that you will find is that your ability to commune with the extended aspects of you, the more universal cosmic aspects of you, will be heightened and you will be able to work with your own energy so much more powerfully than when you do not yet feel safe in the boundary of yourself.
We invite you to ask your question now.
Melissa: It's very relevant actually to the question.
So today I would like to talk about sexual energy. Sexuality is made shameful and taboo and really given a very bad rap in our society and this is very disappointing to see. My question today is about the term sacred sexuality. It's used in certain circles and described as a doorway to a higher state of being. And it's taught in a number of ways how to harness our sexual energy and use it to so called deepen our connection to divinity, come into sacred union with another.
Can we really get closer to God source, Creator through sex? And how can Oron put this whole movement, this whole industry into a clear perspective for those of us that enjoy sex but yet don't want it to have to become something that is a spiritual practice, so to speak?
Oron: We like where your energetic focus and your consciousness took you as you talked to us about the things that have been on your mind. The idea that it needs to become a goal oriented thing in terms of connecting to the Divine and using it as spiritual work can understandably make the whole thing feel a little heavy. The reason - we'll say this a different way. Yes, it is true that you can get closer to your connected experience of the Divine through sex. It is also true that you can get to a closer experience of the Divine by eating ice cream. It is also true that you can get that same experience when you are in a bath. It's just that it offers you a connection point. Each of these opportunities and everything else that exists as a lived experience on your planet offers you different connection points, we will say, into the experience of oneness.
The truth of everything is that you are more than just connected to the humans on your planet. You are more than just connected to the Earth upon which you live and of which you are a part. You are connected to every aspect of the entirety of the universe. And it is just a matter of where your consciousness lies.
And so we can feel the tension that this idea of making sex s conduit to God, a connection point to God, the tension around it is not something that everyone experiences, but some of you will. And so the reason that sex is enjoyed by many of you is because there is a level of release that happens in that place.
Sex is a complicated thing on your planet because, like money, it has been used for domination and power and a lot of things in between, some of which have not felt good to humanity. And so there is a purity within each of the experiences that you have on your planet that is available to you when your consciousness is capable of experiencing that level of purity. And so we say to you, follow your joy, your play, your passion, where it leads you from the inside rather than based on logical ideas that you come across. Take everything that you come across, including everything that we offer, through the philter of your own discernment, through the philter of your own wisdom, and you will find that you are able to take some bits from some things and leave others in a much more empowered way than what you have felt was possible for you in the past.
There is no demand that you use sex to connect to anything, not even yourself. There is no demand on you, period. But if in a playful way you are called to use sex consciously in this way, that is a delightfully enjoyable and delicious avenue. But if it does not feel that way to you, do not feel any pressure to make that be anything other than what it is for you. Because it is actually the act of relaxing into pressure - correction. Relaxing into pleasure and following the impulses that have got the ability to help you connect into yourself. But that is not something that is relegated to one realm of life and not others. It is equally possible and available on all - correction. On all realms. Do you require any clarification?
Melissa: Yes. I get the pleasure aspect of sex, the surrender, the playfulness and the joy. But there's a lot of discomfort around sexuality, a lot of awkwardness, a lot of shame. Sometimes it's really hard to ask for what you want sexually. How is this - not how. What can we do to work through what should just be as natural as enjoying a meal with your beautiful partner? What is it that we can do to help ourselves be more relaxed and natural in sex? Because I know it's a problem for many and so many aren't getting sex and they feel like they're missing out on that as well.
So yeah, that's what I'm interested in.
Oron: It is as complicated as the topic of money. We say that again. There are many of you who do not have the collective issues around sex that you are speaking of, but there are many more that do. The fact that there is more intensity around sex than there is around other topics makes it difficult to come to it with a level of clarity in your perspective. The fact that it creates life. The fact that it has been used for dominance. The fact that it has been used by religions in order to control the masses in some ways. The fact that it has been deemed other than it is. The fact that it has been also demonised. The fact that people have been told. For example. That if they do self pleasuring. They will go blind. The fact that there is so much pressure collectively on this and the fact that at the core of it is not just the desire that you are all familiar with. But the energy of life makes it a profoundly available playground for expansion and transformation. So when you ask us how can we support ourselves in this? The way that you can support yourself in this is the exact same way that you can support yourself in all ways.
And that would be to really allow yourself to be honest with yourself about where you are and to love yourself for being in that place as well as for wanting to move to a more expanded place, to bring a level of self support. Because the fear that you have of expressing yourself to others is ultimately because there is a level inside of you that is not feeling completely and utterly safe with you. There is a fear that you will interpret things that are said, for example, in ways that will be detrimental to your own beingness inside of yourself. And so it is easier sometimes to stay quiet than to ask for what you want. But the desire to ask for the things that you want does not just lie within the sexual realm, it lies within all interactions and relationships that you have in your world. There is an area that is deeply explored often when it comes to personal development, spirituality, and you talk about it often it is the area of boundaries. And boundaries are not drawing rigid lines and saying you stay on your side and I'll stay on my side. Boundaries are something that when used in a healthy way, fluid and flowing and they include the natural expression of what is right for you in each moment and what is not right for you in each moment as it fuel like it needs to be expressed.
And so the fact that there is intensity around the area of sex makes it more scary to express yourself in that realm for some of you. And so that means that the safety that you build and create for yourself. The support system that you have for yourself. The mattress to land on if things go a little awry for you. That you give to yourself inside of yourself. Need to be bolstered so that you will feel like you can take the risk of saying the thing without having it go badly inside of yourself irrespective of what happens with your partner. Do you have any questions about what we're saying so far?
Melissa: Yes. There is a similar energy in not being comfortable in asking for what you want in sex, just like there is in many other aspects. And I understand it's about safety within. So what do we do at that moment where we are wanting to allow ourselves to be seen sexually, to be open and vulnerable with our partner and we go to say the thing and we feel it block up within us, we can't sit and do a return to wholeness process in that moment. What is it that you can guide us to work with or to consider, to soften into really allowing ourselves to be honest in those moments.
Oron: You practise it outside of those moments. You fortify yourself outside of those moments. You create the safety for yourself outside of those moments and imagine yourself in those moments and practise supporting yourself and coaching yourself through it so that it does not feel like you are trying it for the first time without a net to catch you if you fall. You encourage yourself outside of those moments to build their safety so that it is available to you when things feel more heightened within their sexual situation. And the other thing that we would encourage you also depending on the level of safety available within the relationship and with the other person, is to be honest about what you are feeling. If that is something that you feel comfortable and safe to do, it might be that all you need to say is I feel uncomfortable about asking for what I want. We will say this a different way. Maida has sometimes wondered, because we often talk in her own experience. Working with energy leads her to believe that your power lies inside of you. Her thought is as humans power lies inside of ourselves, so why do we have to tell things to other people?
Can't we just resolve them inside of ourselves? And the ultimate truth is that yes. It is possible to resolve things inside of yourself. But particularly when there has been blocked expression. You might find that your inner guidance is sometimes taking into a place where expressing something and this next bit is important we're expressing something does not demand that the other do the thing you are asking for. But rather you experience yourself as having your own back enough that you are willing to say the thing and then be willing to free the person to make a free choice about how they choose to respond to you. Sometimes you get confused, especially when it comes to beginning to express yourself and you accidentally believe that the person on the other side of the transaction of the communication is required to meet the need or hear you properly. And there are ways that all the things are outside of your control and the space of the relationship, the ideal space of relationship is of being able to commune profoundly with the other. But we will tell you this that is only available to any human on this planet to the degree that they have it available within themselves.
If you do not have the safety inside of yourself, it is going to be impossible for you to have a situation of a divine relationship. We are totally heard and supported and loved and adored in a way that provides the safety for you without you needing to do that for yourself, you will not be a match to that experience. And so, no matter where you are in the state of your romantic union at present, whether you have one or whether you do not, it is the most beneficial energy expenditure to spend some time to give yourself the attention and to build within yourself the kind of communication and support that you wish to receive from those around you. That is how you support yourself in not just this scary situation, but all of those that come to you as you move through on this delightful journey called life.
Melissa: Yeah. One more question around orgasm. What is the point of orgasm? Clearly they're amazing and gorgeous and fun, but I'm really interested. Is there something else from Orange perspective about the role of orgasm? And it's relevant to us.
Oron: There are many things that we can talk about here and there is a few that we will go into in this moment. The first is that it is a complete release of resistance in the moment that you experience the buildup and the release. It is not just a physical release, it is a release of many dimensions and many layers of your being. You'll notice that after you experience the pleasure of the orgasm there is a spaciousness in your mind, there is a relaxation of the physical body. And there are some ways that you could think that the experience of moving from the tension that you normally carry to the build up and then the release, that is in some ways what the experience of death may feel like. There is a delightfulness in moving from one mode of consciousness to another and that is what your death experience actually is. It is a shifting of the perspective of the energetics of you. And as you experience those moments of deep profound relief, that feeling of deep and profound expansion, it is almost a little taste of what it will feel like to truly feel connected, expanded and not resistant to anything.
There is an energetic shifting that happens when you allow yourself to move through that experience. And you'll notice that some people who have difficulty in this area are very outcome focused and they create a level of tension inside of themselves because they wish to achieve the outcome. And for most of those people, the thing that will get them closer is to release the outcome focus and to relax into the journey of it and to enjoy the moment to moment experience of it. But there is an intensity around wanting to get there that is also how many of you live. You live your life often based on an idea of when I have this, when I get there and you miss so much of the journey. The interesting thing with the orgasm experience is that as you build there is some degree of tension but it is not resistance. And that is a big important difference as you build that and then let it go. The relaxation and the expansion that you feel is in some ways a really true representation of what lies at the core of you. The reason that it feels so intense though, is because also you experience a level of distance from the depth of that.
So when you expand your consciousness more and more, you are able to go more and more deep into the experience. And that experience is not just physical, it is also spiritual and it is also energetic. There is a particular experience that can happen when humans are involved in the sexual process and both of them move through that climactic moment simultaneously. There is a heart space that opens there, depending on the willingness and the intention sometimes of the beings that are present. There is a deep space of profound connection that is available. But it is not only available in that moment. Some of you see it correction some of you experience when you look into the eyes of a friend or into a child or connect with an animal, there is a particular quality of the energy that is available in that orgasm moment. That is a pure of correction, that is a purity of connection. And you have a lot of consciousness around the area of sex. Your society has thought about it and thought about it and spoken about it and spoken about it. And there is an intensity to the consciousness that is available, that builds the energy that is available there also.
But don't correction, but do not consider that to be the ultimate way of experiencing the connection to the divine. There is no pressure that will help you to move forward in the playful, joyous way that you wish. And so, yes, it is possible to connect to the divine through sex, but it is also possible to connect to the divine through everything. It is just that there is a more multi dimensional experience that is available in the pleasure and the joy and the release and the expansion of the orgasmic experience for humans at present. Does that answer your question?
Melissa: It does answer my question, yes. So the people that aren't in sexual relationships needn't fear that they're missing out because there's a lot of pressure to make sure that your sexuality is sacred and all of those things. So it's very comforting to be reminded, I guess, that this connection to the divine is possible in a moment in nature, in a moment with one of my cats. But when in union with another, there is obviously a new depth to that. Yeah, I think that answers all my questions. Thank you.
Oron: You are welcome. We are glad to play in this area. You are right. Not something we have spoken about often, but ultimately this in all areas of life, are vehicles for deeper connection. Potential and deeper connection to yourself is the most profound thing. Even though your society outside of you look so alluring and there is so much out there around the need to be completed by another. The most fulfilling relationship is available to those who have that already within themselves. And so no people who are not currently in relationship should not feel that they require someone in order to elevate the energy available in their sexual experience. You are all the entirety of the universe, none of you are small. And despite how you may sometimes feel, none of you are alone. You can bring in the energetics of so much to everything that you do, should you wish too. That is something that is starting to get more easily understood by many of you. And you will know more as you develop more of that playful attitude inside of yourself, of being the scientist of you and saying, what happens when I do this?
And what happens when I do it this way? And so the sexual act does not have to be connected to another human being. It is something that you can enjoy by yourself and build that feeling of connection with yourself and learn how to ask yourself for the things that you wish and explore with yourself what works best for yourself so that you can become practised should you ever wish to share that same experience with another. We love you. We love you. We love you. Go well.
Medha: you know what? When I was connecting in, I got the download, she's going to ask about sex. And it's so funny because it didn't occur to me when you sent me that message going, are there any bad questions? I mean, I fucking wonder what she's going to ask? But sex didn't pop into my mind until I was tuning in. They go, she's going to ask about sex.
Melissa: And were you affected at all by your experience today?
Medha: Yeah, I found that it's like my mouth got tripped up more than normal. Like they had to do correction a bit, because it's like my mouth didn't keep up with the words, but apart from that, it was fine. So that was the only bit that I still felt like I felt everything else the same, but I was aware that it's like my lips were a bit slower and they talk quite fast, so it's like, I went a few times, but that was it.
Melissa: So are you repeating what they say or are you their voice?
Medha: No, I'm not repeating what they say, but I'm not a puppet either. Sometimes I get a sense of what they're going to say, so if they're talking in some way about something, and it's almost like I think they consider going a different angle, but they decide not to. I feel that I know, so afterwards I can go, Actually, they nearly said this, but they didn't, and so I just know. So I just tell the person. So that happens. And as it's coming through, I hear and I know it, but I don't know, we've been going for, what, 20 something minutes? I don't have memories of 20 minutes worth. Like, I don't know what they talked about unless I remember specific things. Like, it goes out of me. I open my mouth and I don't know what it is that's going to be coming. And I don't know how the sentences connect to each other and then the paragraphs connect to each other. But then afterwards, whenever I listen back, I'm like, oh, fuck. It's all connected. But at the time, I feel the connection, but I don't it's not like I hear it and I say it.
That used to happen to me in healings, before orange started coming through. I would hear shit in my head and then I would just say it out loud. But this is different to that. This isn't that. But I think that's what built my muscle of learning to trust, because I would get weird fucking shit. And I learned over time that if I say the weird stuff, people go, oh, my God. How did you know? That happened enough that I really learned to just not edit, like, just say it. But this is different because there's a gap. So, in the healing, when it used to happen like that, I used to hear it and then I'd have to remember it and say it. But none of that happens when I'm channelling and actually in sessions now, they're actually a lot more like channelling. I don't have any conscious thinking happening when I'm doing a session with someone, will I go this way? There's like, none of that. I'm just flowing in the moment and I don't ever think what to say. But it's different to the channelling, but it's also different to how it used to be, where I would hear a thing and then say it.
So it's not like that now. Sometimes I get like a message will download, but it downloads in a chunk. We've had sessions before and I've said something like, or I want to say, like, that comes in a chunk. I don't hear the words for that. I just get a sense of the thing and then I say whatever the thing is.
Melissa: And do you feel stiller and more centred in yourself now than you did an hour or so ago today for having done what you've just done?
Medha: That's interesting. So I feel as calm as I felt when remember how I was like, we have to hurry up because I need to close my eyes. It's like they were already in the space. So I feel the same amount centred as that.
Melissa: Yeah. Okay.
Medha: So it's like they were already here and they already slowed me down and that feeling was already in me. So I feel the same as that, which is better than before I sat down.
Melissa: Yes, but not more so, having been with them.
Medha: Yeah, that's interesting. That's a good question. Yeah, not more so. Sometimes I am, but this time I'm not.
Melissa: Okay, wonderful. Thank you.
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