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  • Writer's pictureMedha Murtagh

Episode 41 – Returning to wholeness

Updated: Feb 28, 2023

In this episode, Oron chat with Anita about why we sometime feel desperation and what to do when you find yourself in that experience. Oron then do a deep dive into the Return to Wholeness process, which is the process that they’ve taught me to work with myself in a way that’s deeply self-loving, and much easier and more effective than anything I was doing before. This process has changed my life and so that I’ve decided to do a free 5 day experience teaching people how to do it for themselves! You’ll find details in the outro of this episode as well as on my socials.

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Oron: We are here and ready. Let's begin.

Anita: I wanted to ask about the energy of desperation. And what I mean by that is the sense that so many of us have that there is not enough time and not enough money, not enough whatever. And we just get sucked into that.

Oron: The feeling of desperation arises when there are two conflicting things in play. The first thing is you really, really want something. The second thing is you are in lack. And so the feeling of desperation is an excellent indicator for you of the fact that you have feelings, beliefs, paradigms within you that are actually in opposition to you gaining access and having the thing that you want. And so whenever you hit the energy of desperation, you will have walked through a path on your way to it that has given you whispers of the fact that you are having those other paradigms within you and you have not heard them - which is not a problem, because as you keep going along that same path, the messages get louder and louder. So desperation occurs when you have been walking along the path of wanting something and not deeply believing that you can have it for a period of time or with a level of energetic intensity that prompts the feeling of desperation. But the feeling of desperation is just the result of those competing energies. It is not because you cannot have the thing and it is not because it is not possible for you to flow towards it with ease. The indication that desperation gives you is an excellent, excellent tool to help you uncover the things that are lying within you, that are standing in the way of you achieving what it is that you want. Desperation feels like the enemy, but it's actually your friend when you use it to clear up those things and therefore make an easeful pathway for yourself towards the things that you want.

Anita: So in that then, we're at that place where we feel desperate and so what then would be, like, suggestion for how to figure out which piece this be like... To go back and hear what we haven't heard. How do we do that?

Oron: You soothe yourself from where you are, but the initial step to being able to soothe yourself from where you are is to accept where you are. The problem arises when you come to yourself from a place of non-acceptance. When you come to yourself with a place of, "This isn't right. I should feel different," there is a closed energy to that endeavor. Whereas, when you can accept the fact that you are where you are, because the truth is that is where you are and so accepting it isn't defeat. Accepting it isn't saying that you do not wish for more. Acceptance is merely being in the present with an open energy and being with yourself as you are and appreciating and accepting yourself where you are. And so when you find that place of acceptance, first, you are able to come to the parts of you that are feeling the lack, that are feeling the fear with an energy that encourages them to open themselves up to you. We have played with Medha and some of the people that she has worked with in the past with something that we call the return to wholeness process, or rather Medha calls it the return to wholeness process. And it is a process that we encourage you to do of turning towards the parts of you that are having thoughts, ideas, feelings and paradigms that are different to what you wish for yourself. Historically, what most of you have done when you find yourself in that situation, and you find yourself in that situation a lot, what you have done in the past is generally to try and silence the parts of you that you generally disagree with and try and boost up the volume of the parts of you that think and feel the things that you wish that all of you would think and feel. But listen to that. You wish that all of you would think and feel. And so what you try and do is ignore, repress and silence the parts of you that think and feel different. And we remind you of this: we never think or feel anything for no reason. You never think anything or feel anything for no reason. There is always something there for you to uncover and to heal and to transmute and to release if you are finding yourself in a place of split energy. And so the return to wholeness process is finding acceptance and then turning towards the parts of you that are in those, what you would call negative emotions, and with the loving mother love energy that many of you know - sometimes in theory more than in practice - but it is available to you to give to yourself in each and every moment. And so as you turn towards yourself with that nurturing, inquisitive idea, feeling the love that you are able to bring to those that are outside of you, that you love when they are in pain, when you are able to turn that same level of focus, attention, nurturing intention and acceptance and encouragement to yourself, you bring those parts into the light and they are then willing to share themselves with you in a way that they are not ready to share themselves with you when they feel that what you wish is to silence them or to reject them. Those parts of you are always there working for your benefit as they perceive it. And so clearing up any perception issues that are in place, any misunderstandings that are in place with those parts of you. We want to remind you of something important. We talk about the parts of you and at the core of you, you are one - not only with all aspects of yourself, but also with the universe. But as a practical process to help you start to move forward, it is helpful to think of them as different parts. And there is something that many humans do not yet understand. And that is that you can have conflicting, directly opposite thoughts and feelings within yourself at one time. And that is what we mean when we talk about the parts. For example, we have been talking about the fact that Medha has some fear around being world-wide, well known - as she would say - in the world in regards to this work. But she also has a deep, deep commitment to getting this work out there to anybody in the world that is open to it and that needs it. And so currently she is doing the process of working through that within herself. And it is not a process of silencing the fear and telling the fear that it needs to be quiet and go away. It is instead a process of turning towards the parts of her that are in fear, understanding that they feel fear for a reason. They are not sabotaging her in any way. They are attempting to keep her safe. And so she is doing that work day to day of turning to those parts of herself in order to allow them to feel heard, to feel supported, to feel like their concerns are being taken on, taken seriously, acted upon. So that in the end, what happens when this process comes to fruition over time is you come back into wholeness. Those parts of you that you previously tried to reject release what they are holding and come up to the energetic level of the rest of you and join you in wholeness. And then you move forward with energy that is focused and one pointed. And that is when you create amazing miracles. That is the return to wholeness process.

Anita: Wow.

Oron: We will say more. Medha has been inspired to teach this process with practical experiences and examples. She - and we - believe that it would be helpful for anyone on the planet to have access to this material. And so she is going to do it without charge so that this is something that is available to people both now and going forward into the future. And so if you feel like the theoretical instruction that we are providing leads you in a place of confusion, there will be resources available that will be available at no cost to allow people to hear, experience and sense this process in action. But the real truth of all of it is this: you all know how to do this. You know how to do it because you do it to your friends and your loved ones regularly. It is just that you have not practiced. You are not familiar with bringing that level of acceptance and encouragement to yourself. If you were to do just that, if you were to do just that, you would be doing the process and bringing yourself back to wholeness. Encourage yourself, encourage yourself, love yourself, support yourself. Because when you do that, you become someone who is used to being supported, who expects their needs to be met, and you are therefore empowered in your interactions with everyone, including the world. And not only that, what happens next is that the universe mirrors that back to you. The process of creation is not you trying to force the universe in an external configuration that pleases you. The act of creation instead is to give yourself what it is that you wish. Create that experience in yourself and feel yourself being supported, feel yourself being loved, feel yourself being taken care of. And although we understand that it is delicious for you when this happens from the external world, true empowerment comes from doing it for yourself internally. And what you will be surprised to find once this is the place that you live from in a more general way, more habitual way, what you will find is that the love that you used to seek externally - when you are giving it to yourself internally -naturally comes to you from the external, but you no longer need it. You just appreciate it and love it and revel in the deliciousness of it because you are not in need. You are in joy, you are in enjoyment. You are in appreciation because you already feel full. And from this place you have so much more to give both yourself and those around you. No one loses from you being nurtured. No one loses from you being encouraged within yourself. No one loses from you being deeply self loving. Everybody wins. And you win too. We hope that that would be reason enough that we know that many of you with generous hearts wish for the upliftment of others. So know that you yourself, by yourself, deserve it. Full stop. You are worth it. Full stop. It is yours. Full stop. And others benefit from it, and that's delightful, as is the external love that you get from those around you when you are giving it to yourself. It is also delightful. But you are the all. You are the all. Uplift yourself and you uplift the world. Add happiness and love to yourself and you add happiness and love to the world. It is not as complicated as you all make it. It is very deeply simple. It's about relaxing. It's about allowing. It's about accepting, not in a way that is disempowered, but in a way that is deeply, deeply powerful. You all deserve all the good things. Every one of you is lovable. There is nothing wrong with you and none of you are broken. You deserve it all. But the universe can only show to you what it is that is happening inside of you already. And so it's easy. Just play with the inside of you already and what you see will change. But when you are dependent on the external trying to fix what is happening inside of you, you are caught in a bondage, you are caught in disempowerment and the pattern will continue and continue. And you will fall under the illusion that you are in fact disempowered because you cannot change your outer universe, but you change your outer universe by changing your inner universe. And you are deeply, deeply powerful. You are deeply, deeply love. And it is time that you allow yourself with your relationship with yourself to experience that as who you are. You deserve it all. You deserve it all. You deserve it all. We love you. We love you. We love you. Go well.

Medha: Yeah, you barely said anything. We didn't even need to fix your microphone problems.

Anita: That's right. I barely said anything. I had a bunch more questions depending on - but, yeah, that was really fantastic so...

Medha: They clearly had a lot to say. You know what? I'll put it all in the show notes and everything for everyone that's watching. But I'm getting ready to do like a five day experience to teach this exact thing to people, because it's literally changed my world. Like I've never loved myself as much as I love myself now. I have never felt more whole. I have never had spiritual progress so quickly and so easily and changing that thing, that thing that we do to ourselves, which is how I used to do spirituality. I used to do spirituality from like, "I need to be better and do more and meditate more and better." And it was just such a constricting energy and it was like dragging weights behind me, like it was so heavy. And like, it's so much easier and more fun now. So much easier and more fun. So yeah, like I'm getting ready to do a thing. So I actually could -because I can hear what's happening with their channeling and a little tiny part of me now went, "Are they going to think Oron's advertising for me? That's a bit odd." I've learned, I've learned to just allow it, but I still sometimes sit there like I get a bit shocked by what they say inside my head. And I get a bit like, "Oh, are they really saying that?" sometimes. And with that one I was like, "well, you know, it's Oron work. So they're allowed to let people know it there." But just my little mind was like, "Are they marketing?"

Anita: I love it. Yeah. I think it was super powerful and I think that's... You know, so important for so many of us. It's this constant - and of course, I mean, I still do it so much less than I ever have, right? But there is this constant need to just let go, let go, let go, let go, let go more. Right?

Medha: Yeah, but you know what else I've discovered is that, like, we can't expect ourselves to let go unless we build up a sense of safety inside of ourselves first. And - and this is why the return to wholeness process is so insanely important. I felt really unsafe most of my life growing up because I had an abusive, alcoholic mother. So most of my life, I felt really unsafe, really unsupported and really alone, which is why I used to try and control everything in my environment all the time. I used to try and control myself to try and control the environment, actually. That's what I used to do. Yeah. But then what I realized is like when we mean to ourselves inside of ourselves - which like ninety nine percent of us are - when we do that we create lack of safety inside of ourselves. And so doing this process where, like, I turn to the parts and I'm always like curious and interested in supporting them in a place of love, shifted that pattern for me of feeling like - like I used to feel so unsafe. I remember walking with a friend - we were walking the dogs - and there was a loud noise. And I went like that. Right? And she like, didn't move. And I'm like, "Oh, wow. That's how unsafe I feel. It's like I'm constantly on edge." So that's how I used to live. Right? But this process, I think, has been a massive part in the shifting of that feeling from unsafe to safe. Because I used to like if I said something that hurt someone's feelings, for example, I would like beat the fuck up out of myself for ages afterwards, kind of to make sure I didn't do it again, I think. Whereas now, if I do something that is a bit shit, I'll go, "Oh, that's not normally what I would do. That's really odd that I would do that. I wonder why I..." Like I'm curious and I'm interested. I'm not rejecting myself. And that's what this process is like radically changed in me, which changes everything.

Anita: Well, it's interesting because I had another question that I thought if there was time or whatever, because sometimes they have lots to say and sometimes not as much. And it's around how we can feel more safe in our body. I feel like that's probably the process that you're going to be doing there.

Medha: Yeah, well, they probably answered your question without actually addressing it in like a formal kind of way. But yeah, that safety - it's actually crucial for everything. And Oron have said before, they say be playful, be playful, be playful, but before you be playful, you have to be safe. You can't be playful if you don't feel safe. So it's like the precursor. But again, for the longest time, like I just thought, whether or not I'm safe is dependent on the external that I can't control, which built up that feeling of unsafe, unsafe, unsafe. If my safety is determined by things I've got no impact on, like, I'm fucked. You know? But if I do that process inside and create that feeling of safety inside myself, and then I'll go out into the world, you know, it's like a totally different thing. So, yeah, the safety thing's huge.

Anita: Yeah, yeah, for sure. And I know so many people... It's interesting, I don't feel that that car thing is so much about unsafety, but because that happens to me all the time. But it's just the loud noise. And I have always attributed that to the sensitivity. There is, of course, some high alert as well. But I don't know, like even when I feel safe, those noises still jar me. So...

Medha: Yeah, that's probably a bit different. Like, to me, it's not just that I jumped, It's that my heart within race for ages and that's really different now. So it used to trigger fear. It was danger for me. It wasn't just... So it was a definite feeling of like, "What the fuck?" And it was stressed and tense and very fearful. I'm still really sensitive to sound. And even if I go like, like a jolt now, it's not... Like my heart doesn't race for ages afterwards and like my breathing doesn't increase and all that stuff. Like it's physiological.

Anita: Yeah.

Medha: It was my nervous system. Yeah, I think my nervous system was just way too heightened and all the time.


Medha: yeah,

Anita: yeah.

Medha: Anyway, thank you. That was really awesome. I'm just going to stop recording now.

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