Episode 1 - Productive personal growth: how to stop holding yourself back
Updated: Oct 25
Do you ever feel that you haven’t really achieved what you wanted to achieve with your life?
This episode explores:
the role and impact of regret and how to work with it
how to tell if you’re trying to grow from a place of self-rejection (which is super ineffective) or from a place of self-love (which will transform you and your world)
how to stop blocking your own energy and growth and how to work with yourself in ways that are productive instead
This episode was recorded quite recently, but we’re releasing it first because it so beautifully captures the essence of Oron’s message. The episode includes reference to another podcast recording, which is also out and available now. It’s episode number 4 and you can find it HERE and on YouTube.
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Oron: We are here and ready.
Esther: We spoke about a shortage of… abundance, but not just in abundance, as most people assume it’s money, but also of time. So what I’ve been experiencing and feeling is, I am suddenly doing more of what I feel I am meant to be doing. Which feels really good. But also, there is a feeling of I am already, you know, this age and I almost feel like I need to make up for lost time, almost. Which obviously is not impossible. But yeah, there’s just this feeling of – I’ve never been one to have regrets. And I feel… And I do believe that everything I’ve experienced and done has made me who I am today. But there is a part of me that is… has got this restlessness about it, this like… almost wanting to – yeah, the expression is making up for lost time. Can you speak a little bit about that?
Oron: The desire to make up for lost time implies that there is actually some regret present. You began the question by mentioning our previous discussion about shortage of abundance, and we wish to guide the conversation in this way. The abundance is never in shortage, but the experience can be of a shortage of abundance. It is a subtle distinction, but it is nevertheless one worth pointing out and attempting to maintain at the forefront as we continue the discussion.
If you are present, if you are embodied, if you are following the flow of the inspiration as it arises in those moments, you do not feel regret. You do not feel that you have not done with your life what it was that you were meant to do with your life. In those moments of being deeply present, you are in abundance. In those moments of being in joy, you are in abundance of all of the good things and the expansive energy which is actually at the core of you. It is almost as though you allow it to come further and further towards the surface of you because it lives within you always.
The experience or the belief or the feeling that, “I have not achieved enough,” is in itself lack. It is not just lack of abundance. It is the feeling of “There is not enough time, resources, abilities, energy, capacity,” it is a feeling of shortage in general. And it is -Let’s begin somewhere else. You do not experience that when you’re in a state of openness and flow. When you experience that feeling of, “I haven’t done enough with my life,” check in to what is going on for you in that moment, because you have somehow, for some reason, been moved towards the lack rather than the abundance. In the moments where you find yourself in the abundance, extend yourself further into that experience with consciousness. At the moment, you are a little bit like a game of tennis. You are the ball going from side to side, from side to side, and you’re not necessarily conscious of the triggers that take you towards the lack experience or towards the abundance experience.
Sometimes you experience one and sometimes you experience the other. But as you start to investigate yourself and realize, “In this moment I’m feeling impatient because I have not achieved enough,” follow the trail of the thoughts that you had to lead you to that experience of lack in that moment and uncover what is there. Because there is something that is festering there for you that requires – does not require – that it would behoove you to look at, to clean up and to integrate so that you can spend much more time, easily, without having to force yourself, without having to remind yourself, in that experience of the abundance that is the birthright of you and everyone on the planet.
Esther: Hmm, yeah, that makes a lot of sense, because what you said about when you’re in the moment going with the flow of things, with what feels good. Yeah, that is… that just feels good and there is no lack there.
Oron: You will also find that when you are in alignment and following the things that feel good to you, as you described earlier, you are capable of manifesting and creating miraculous things very quickly. But when you carry the weight of the feeling of not having achieved enough, all that does is depress the energy and activate within you lack rather than miracles. So, so much is possible for you, and as you step more and more into the knowing and the feeling and the embodying of that magical potential, that is who you are, you will no longer be in that place of feeling disappointed with your current achievements.
But it is that energy of being disappointed with what you have achieved so far, that is like weights that you are dragging behind you, and then you are working really hard to try and create and manifest what it is that you do want, whilst dragging behind the heaviness of those weights. Weight of expectation, weight of responsibility, the weight of attempting to motivate yourself by using the stick rather than the carrot. Look what I have not yet achieved. Look what I have not yet done. That is actually what you are using as a motivation factor. But what it does is depress your energy, contract your energy, depress it. Make it less powerful, less capable of achieving the miracles. So the part of you that is attempting to motivate you by saying, ‘You’re running out of time. You haven’t done enough. You better get a move on.” That part of you actually wants the best for you. It is actually your self-love. And that is why we advise you to follow the moments when you catch yourself in a moment of lack and walk down that direction, follow the trail of the energy and uncover what is really there. What you will find is self-love.
It is just that there have been some mechanisms that have been created within you in order to try and create an outcome that have proved efficient or looked efficient to you in the past. And so that part of you is attached to it and believes that that is the way to motivate you. And so, as you address that within yourself, as you realize that no one responds well to the stick, that you don’t respond well to the stick, that you are much more motivated when you are encouraged to be your biggest self, be your best self, be your happiest self, be your most flowing self. That is when the miracles become available to you. But if there is a part of you that believes that you need to be motivated with the stick, unless you turn in that direction, address that, find what’s going on there, heal it and integrate it, you will continue to carry the bags, the weights that are stopping your ability to create and manifest with magical ease.
Esther: Okay, so I like that. So getting into that a bit deeper, so what you’re saying is to really maybe stop and acknowledge that that is there. Not resist it. Find the love underneath it. I don’t know, is there anything else you can say with regards to going down and – not figuring it out, because that sounds a bit resistant, doesn’t it? But to… To make friends with that.
Oron: The process is one of becoming aware of yourself and stopping the fighting. If you turn to the parts of you with a level of acceptance and curiosity and love and follow where that takes you, you will learn how to work with yourself and that will change your world. There is not a prescription that we can give you that will work in all instances other than this. Turn towards yourself with acceptance.
You often try to – particularly in the personal development spiritual sphere – you often try to fix yourself. That attitude assumes that you are broken and that is not what is true. So the tendency to turn towards the aspects of yourself with the desire to fix them, to change them, is buried in self rejection. The foundation of that process is self rejection. And so the deepest, deepest healing can only ever occur when it begins from a place of acceptance. So our prescription to you – we are reluctant to prescribe anything ever because we do not wish to usurp your wisdom and your knowing. We just wish to guide you towards your own inner power.
But our prescription, if there was one, would be to find self acceptance, to cultivate self acceptance and to turn to all of the aspects of you with the love that you would to an injured child, with the adoration that you would give to your most beloved pet, with that clean feeling of, “I love you and I am here for you and I want to help you.” As you turn to the fragmented parts of you, the parts of you that you have disowned, the parts of you that you deem needing of fixing, as you turn to them with that attitude of the deepest love, your world is transformed and your spiritual, personal, financial, relational development, growth and expansion is multiplied exponentially. Because all you really want is expansion. That’s what you want. You want expansion in all of the areas of your life. But when you reject yourself, you automatically contract your own energy. You cannot beat yourself towards expansion. You cannot. It is impossible.
The problem lies in the fact that most of you do not realize that you are trying to beat yourself towards expansion. But that is where, if you take your attention, if you are really honest with yourself, you will notice that that is the motivation. And as you transform that relationship with yourself – the deepest relationship you have is with yourself – and as you transform that, you transform your world. And ease and flow and magic is completely available to you from that space.
Esther: So basically, love is the answer.
Oron: Yes, and we understand that that sounds trite and that it sounds too simple and it is therefore often rejected. But it is the truest thing that can be said. Love is the answer, but it needs to be the pure love, not the, “I am pretending to love myself in this moment when I am actually rejecting myself.” And that requires self exploration. It requires a looking into yourself, into your self communication, into your interactions with yourself, with a level of honesty that a lot of people are not yet bringing to themselves.
Love, real love, real acceptance, real encouraging of yourself to grow and develop with support. There is a difference between someone who is learning to walk a tightrope with a net and without a net. A person who has a net is capable of taking more risks. They are capable of being more confident. Someone who has not done that before and is attempting to do it without a net will be fearful. Their energy will be contracted. So be your own net. Be a safe space within yourself and allow yourself to fall and catch yourself when that happens. Support yourself when that happens. And you’ll be walking the tightrope in no time and loving it.
Esther: Mhm, yeah, that’s that’s a very good point. So basically, energy doesn’t lie, but what we think is love often is very padded with conditioning and things like that, isn’t it?
Oron: That is a very excellent point. If you feel into the actual feeling that you’re taking into looking at yourself and encouraging yourself to grow, if you feel the feeling, you can’t really fool yourself. Whether you’re really deeply loving yourself or whether you’re rejecting yourself, that will have an energy and it will have an energetic impact and it will impact your emotions. And you can learn to decipher it and you will be surprised at how often you are self rejecting rather than self loving.
Esther: Mm hmm. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And another thing that I was thinking about as well is how interesting it is to experience abundance in different areas of our lives. You would think, and it is – abundance is abundance is abundance. But we may be abundant in certain areas of our lives and not in others. Which is curious. What – can you talk about that a little bit?
Oron: It depends on your upbringing. It depends on what you have seen. It depends on what you have experienced. If you decide that something comes to you easily, then it comes too easily. If you decide that it doesn’t, then it doesn’t.
Esther: Yeah. Again with the conditioning, I suppose. Yeah. I don’t know if I have any more questions.
Oron: That is fine, but we will remind you once again of what we remind you of always: you are deeply powerful and you are becoming more and more connected to that power. And as you do, there are elements that come up that just require some attention. And the more that you bring that loving attitude that we are recommending to those things, to those issues, to those blocks, to those wounds, the quicker you will clear them. Self acceptance, self-love, deep support of self. If you really want yourself to have the best life, if you really want you to have all the things that you want, why would you not be your biggest supporter? Why would you not have your own back?
And so if there are reasons and ways in which you are not your biggest supporter, those things need to be cleaned up, if what you want is the life of your dreams. It does not matter what your experience is. If you have a positive, productive, joyful life, or if you have a challenging, difficult, painful life, you are still a hugely important part of the whole. You are invaluable and you are adding to the expansion of the collective. But we are here to remind you that it can be fun and it can be light and it can be joyous and it can be playful and it doesn’t have to be difficult.
So the choice is ultimately yours. And if you feel like you do not know what it is that you need to do in order to move towards the things that you want, know this: You are supported. You are deeply supported. And when you are ready, the resources arrive, the right book lands in your lap. A friend says something. You find a online course. There are things that are there waiting for you to be deeply ready. And as you bring more and more of that attitude of self-love and self acceptance and self support, you will find that the things that appear to be massive obstacles for you start to whittle away and disappear so that you start to begin to live in the way that you intended.
As powerful – not dominant, but powerful – loving, kind, connected, joyous, intuitive, generous. You are here for joy. You are here for expansion. And that is what we wish for you and what we are here to help you facilitate. We will never tell you what to do, but we will guide you towards your own knowing because you have it. Because you are it. You are divine.
We love you. We love you. We love you. Go well.
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